make that WWII

I have been married 46 years and still get my feelings hurt when I think of things my DH's grandmother, and MIL
(who is still alive) have done or said to me. when my husband told his grandmother we were getting married she said "A knife is turning in my heart" and "this marriage won't last a year." When we were young, the grandparents came to our home. Took my DH in a bedroom, shut the door and told him to write up his will and not leave anything to me, (we had our first child at that time) and instead to by a small life insurance policy with me as the beneficiary). I am not Jewish and my DH is. At a dinner with his Aunts, Uncle, etc. they all started talking about Hitler killing Jews and then all stared at me. I was too upset to point out to them that my father volunteered for WWI and was wounded twice fighting the Germans. In all these years the have never sincerely congratulated or thanked me for anything I have done or accomplished. When my MIL learned that I received straight As in college she told me I should teach her younger daughter "my tricks" so she wouldn't haver to study so much. Obviously, after so many years, I learned to keep my distance and not to expect anything positive. But I am writing this now because I wish I had spoken out and called them on their insults. So those of you out there who have MIL who are being rude and mean, please stand up for yourself. Don't rely of your DH... they mainly did these things when he wasn't around or my DH acted like he didn't get why I was upset. The good thing is that i now have 2 SIL I love very much and have great relationships with my grown daughters and grand kids. So we are not passing down this type of behavior.

Anonymous wrote:My allegedly-very-Democratic-and-open-minded MIL constantly refers to me as her "favorite daughter-in-law"/her "only daugther-in-law" when she has another DIL...my husband's sister's wife. They've been together for much longer than my husband and I have. When we remind her that she can't say those things, she claims to be mortified.

In practically the same breath, she questions whether my Republican parents are truly accepting of my gay brother. Which yes, they are--100% completely, from the moment he came out. MIL doesn't get that your political party affiliation doesn't determine EVERYTHING about you...

A lot of that type of sentiment going around in this area!

My allegedly-very-Democratic-and-open-minded MIL constantly refers to me as her "favorite daughter-in-law"/her "only daugther-in-law" when she has another DIL...my husband's sister's wife. They've been together for much longer than my husband and I have. When we remind her that she can't say those things, she claims to be mortified.

In practically the same breath, she questions whether my Republican parents are truly accepting of my gay brother. Which yes, they are--100% completely, from the moment he came out. MIL doesn't get that your political party affiliation doesn't determine EVERYTHING about you...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL has not made any effort to meet her only grandson (my DS). She told my DH this weekend that we are keeping her from her grand baby AGAIN.

Her first grandchild, my child, died. So. Yeah.

Holy shut that is messed up. I'm sorry.

I don't get your MIL's comment

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been traveling a lot for a new job and desperately miss my kids (and they miss me). Last week DS came downstairs in the morning and ran over and jumped in to my arms and gave me a big happy hug. MIL quips, "wow, he ran right by the two people who care for him the most."

WOW! that is outrageous.

Yikes!

Anonymous wrote:In my mother-in-law's case it's not so much what she says, but what she does, because I do not take that woman seriously at all. Last Christmas, she invited herself (that's sort of okay) plus two other people; this coming autumn she wants to bring an entourage of four. I told my husband if they show up, I move out. Since she will not bend a finger, it should be interesting to see how they will be fed, let alone housed! We have one guest bedroom, but not nearly enough space for five people. My husband claims it's her dementia, but honestly, it's just her self-absorbed personality and perhaps alcohol-fueled irrationality. She's been an alcoholic in denial for years, but the 300+ empty bottles in her basement speak louder than her excuses.

Why do you dismiss that dementia is responsible for any of the above? Everything you say is completely within the dementia realm.

(Husband) wouldn't be so stressed out if you could find a job.

I've been on long term disability for 10 years, and only declining.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL has not made any effort to meet her only grandson (my DS). She told my DH this weekend that we are keeping her from her grand baby AGAIN.

Her first grandchild, my child, died. So. Yeah.

Holy shut that is messed up. I'm sorry.

Not her crib, not her business. If she's so concerned, she can buy her own daughter/grandchild a crib!

She said "you don't understand [the concept of handing down our old crib to my single SIL] because You are an only child."

I was insulted because I'm super generous with both sides of family. I'm very generous with SIL. We choose to hand our crib down to a charity that furnishes homes for women that are fresh out of homeless or battered women shelters. But my in-laws disagreed with that decision. My SIL is single and has no space for a crib.

Implying my very generous parents didn't give us enough money for our 125-guest, lovely wedding, when they couldn't have afforded to give as much as my parents did. My parents paid for everything.

Please don't imply my parents are cheap when they paid for three college educations, two weddings, and give generously to 5 kids/in laws and five grandchildren!

My MIL has not made any effort to meet her only grandson (my DS). She told my DH this weekend that we are keeping her from her grand baby AGAIN.

Her first grandchild, my child, died. So. Yeah.

In my mother-in-law's case it's not so much what she says, but what she does, because I do not take that woman seriously at all. Last Christmas, she invited herself (that's sort of okay) plus two other people; this coming autumn she wants to bring an entourage of four. I told my husband if they show up, I move out. Since she will not bend a finger, it should be interesting to see how they will be fed, let alone housed! We have one guest bedroom, but not nearly enough space for five people. My husband claims it's her dementia, but honestly, it's just her self-absorbed personality and perhaps alcohol-fueled irrationality. She's been an alcoholic in denial for years, but the 300+ empty bottles in her basement speak louder than her excuses.

Anonymous wrote:My 2 ye old has just started s Montessori class on Friday. In laws came Saturday. I was playing on floor with dd and told her it was time to clean up. DD started to put very thing away in a bucket.

MIL exclaims "look how much she's learned from school!"

Say what? She had ONE half day of lifetime school before this.

So I reply "she's only been in school 3 hours of her life; she cleans up because I taught her that."

It sounds innocent on dcum, but mil will say anything to discredit my parenting or to say that my children's good habits or good behaviors came from
Anywhere but mr.

Oh come on, it wasn't necessarily a dig at you. We all know Montessori prizes itself on independence, she was probably looking for evidence.