Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not.
America has become very crass in this regard.
I feel like our first instinct is to throw money to cover up any problem.
Write a heart felt card about the deceased or your regards for the grieving family member.
(If the death left someone in material need, such as a young widow with children, perhaps later try to help them out in some way. )
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In some cultures and subcultures people send money and that is very thoughtful. In some cultures people bring food, send flowers or send gift cards for restaurants.
I think there is no right or wrong. Attend the funeral if you can or send a thoughtful card. If you have a photograph or memory of the deceased you can share it in the card. What is important is that you show your support to the bereaved family.
This. I’m from a working class family, and my dad died unexpectedly when I was 19. There were still 2 younger siblings at home, and my mom did not make a lot of money. I would never critique the expressions of sympathy people sent us. We were all just grateful enough that Dad was remembered. Was it hard? Yes. Would more money have helped? Yes. But swapping out a floral arrangement for $50 wasn’t going to save us. That being said, some people did send money, and that was helpful for funeral costs. At the end of the day, we were grateful for any kindness extended. Being grateful, looking for the best in people -that is what my Dad taught us.
You might think differently about that $50 if it was the difference between having a beautiful floral arrangement or being able to buy groceries and feed your family.
Um, actually we didn’t always have money to buy groceries, so stop projecting your nonsense onto me. Even when times are tight you can choose to feel gratitude for what you do have.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
It depends on the area you live in. When I went to bury my mother in her very small Midwest farming town, I immediately started getting cards when I got to her apartment, mostly dropped off by people. When I opened up the first card, I was astonished. There was $2 in it. I thought, "What?" Then I started opening up the flood of cards that came; all had small amounts of money in them: $5, $10, $20. Those small amounts of money aren't much by themselves, but when you add them up over 100 plus cards, it meant I was able to pay for a headstone and other funeral expenses.
The town folks don't make a lot of money, and they know how expensive funerals are. So everyone pitches in a little, to help. It was amazing.
This is so heartwarming. Brought tears to my eyes. ❤️
Anonymous wrote:Money won’t replace a love one. Keep your pennies to yourself.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends on socioeconomic status
I have known African American families who accepted donations for funeral costs
And I have known white and hispanic families who accepted money for funeral costs as well. Since socioeconomic status isn't tied to race.
OP, I've also known people who gave money not because the family was particularly poor, but just because. But it is not at all required or accepted- your card by itself would be fine.