Anonymous wrote:What makes a fraternity or sorority a "top" one?

I don't know but the posters always seem to have the need to mention the status of their frat/sorority. It makes me cringe. Greek life is trashy.

I see this thread has strayed from violent gang rape, skipped over the consensual sex discussion and has jumped to teaching boys (but no mention of girls) the finer art of a meaningful relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of a son who is going to be educating him consistently and repeatedly on the concept of consent.

Likewise. So horrified by the stories of the parents threatening to sue the accusers. I assume the parents believe their sons are innocent? I pray that I can teach my child to treat women with respect. I agree that all moms should caution their daughters about the real dangers that are out there, but let's not pretend that the real problem and the critical education lies with those of us raising the men who grow up to either treat women well or abuse them.

Boys need to be taught girls giving up sex freely may signal an issue. They should not take every offer, to be selective with sexual partners. I think this is where the fine line starts and it is a moving line.

So when the girls says yes, the boy should be taught to say no? Does the girl ever have any responsibility in your scenario?

I think you are missing the point. The point is that when someone (male or female) is very sexually easy, they may have mental health issues. They're trouble. Find somebody nice. Get a boyfriend. Get a girlfriend. Get a "friend with benefits." But for goodness sake, have some kind of relationship with the person you are having sex with.

Not to mention the potential drama they could create for your son, like getting pregnant or giving him an STD!

Anonymous wrote:What makes a fraternity or sorority a "top" one?

You want to be them or you want to fuck them. Looks, great personalities, grades, campus leadership positions, money...

We have boys and girls in high school and college. We teach them that they bear equal burden in the party atmosphere. I'm shocked at the extra added weight the pps want to leave at the boys' feet (for example the girl says yes, but that doesn't mean yes). Teach your daughters and your sons. We'll all be better off.

What makes a fraternity or sorority a "top" one?

Obviously boys need to be taught how to behave. But I'm a little concerned that most posters here seem to shy away from teaching girls basic behavior as well.

I don't have any daughters (just a handful of sons), but if I did, I would strive to instill in her not only basic safety steps, but also sufficient self esteem so that she wouldn't buckle under pressure to put out or put herself in a dangerous position just because a boy she hardly knows has shown a little interest in her.

Before I get flamed for blaming the victim (which I'm not), let me explain. Some posters have essentially written off parental responsibility by saying that kids away at college are going to do whatever the hell they want. True, but hopefully your kid will have a good moral compass, good self esteem, and a sense of personal responsibility when you send them off. And hopefully they'll be a good judge of character and surround themselves with good people...and not rent friends for four years and opt to be a lemming.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of a son who is going to be educating him consistently and repeatedly on the concept of consent.

Likewise. So horrified by the stories of the parents threatening to sue the accusers. I assume the parents believe their sons are innocent? I pray that I can teach my child to treat women with respect. I agree that all moms should caution their daughters about the real dangers that are out there, but let's not pretend that the real problem and the critical education lies with those of us raising the men who grow up to either treat women well or abuse them.

Boys need to be taught girls giving up sex freely may signal an issue. They should not take every offer, to be selective with sexual partners. I think this is where the fine line starts and it is a moving line.

Well said! My son is 3 at this point I'm ready to go all celebrity lawyer on him and counsel him to excute a consent contract with a witness and notarized signature. In addition if the woman seems in anyway impaired- walk / run away with witness

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of a son who is going to be educating him consistently and repeatedly on the concept of consent.

Likewise. So horrified by the stories of the parents threatening to sue the accusers. I assume the parents believe their sons are innocent? I pray that I can teach my child to treat women with respect. I agree that all moms should caution their daughters about the real dangers that are out there, but let's not pretend that the real problem and the critical education lies with those of us raising the men who grow up to either treat women well or abuse them.

Boys need to be taught girls giving up sex freely may signal an issue. They should not take every offer, to be selective with sexual partners. I think this is where the fine line starts and it is a moving line.

So when the girls says yes, the boy should be taught to say no? Does the girl ever have any responsibility in your scenario?

I think boys need to regognize that a girl saying yes to a stranger may have issues. Boys are so use to basic strangers giving out free sex since middle school they wrongly think the girl that expects respect is a prude or a bitch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of a son who is going to be educating him consistently and repeatedly on the concept of consent.

Likewise. So horrified by the stories of the parents threatening to sue the accusers. I assume the parents believe their sons are innocent? I pray that I can teach my child to treat women with respect. I agree that all moms should caution their daughters about the real dangers that are out there, but let's not pretend that the real problem and the critical education lies with those of us raising the men who grow up to either treat women well or abuse them.

Boys need to be taught girls giving up sex freely may signal an issue. They should not take every offer, to be selective with sexual partners. I think this is where the fine line starts and it is a moving line.

So when the girls says yes, the boy should be taught to say no? Does the girl ever have any responsibility in your scenario?

I think you are missing the point. The point is that when someone (male or female) is very sexually easy, they may have mental health issues. They're trouble. Find somebody nice. Get a boyfriend. Get a girlfriend. Get a "friend with benefits." But for goodness sake, have some kind of relationship with the person you are having sex with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ted Kennedy got drunk and drove off a bridge and killed a girl and got away with it. This country is full of people in power or good ol boy drunks abusing women and no one cares.

The nephew was also accused of rape in Florida. He became a doctor--OB/GYN?

These are NOT Good Ol' boys. These are yankee preppy liberal democrats, but that's for a whole other thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of a son who is going to be educating him consistently and repeatedly on the concept of consent.

Likewise. So horrified by the stories of the parents threatening to sue the accusers. I assume the parents believe their sons are innocent? I pray that I can teach my child to treat women with respect. I agree that all moms should caution their daughters about the real dangers that are out there, but let's not pretend that the real problem and the critical education lies with those of us raising the men who grow up to either treat women well or abuse them.

Boys need to be taught girls giving up sex freely may signal an issue. They should not take every offer, to be selective with sexual partners. I think this is where the fine line starts and it is a moving line.

So when the girls says yes, the boy should be taught to say no? Does the girl ever have any responsibility in your scenario?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to believe a group of young men who worked hard to get into UVA and presumably care about their future do something so violent and criminal. I mean that's like a war crime type situation.

If it's true, those guys should get life sentences. I'm just having a hard time believing the story as written.

I went to UVA 15+ years ago and not only do I believe it but I am shocked it has taken this long to come out. And, perhaps equally sad in the reaction of her peers, which, IMO, is a very accurate reflection of the mindset of many at that school. I love UVA for so many reasons, but the frat culture there is disgusting. I was in a top sorority and socialized with the guys in these frats a lot. Looking back, as an adult, what went on then and what I am sure goes on now, makes me sick.

Ditto. Was there 25+ years ago, also in a top sorority, had the same experiences as you did, with the same takeaway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of a son who is going to be educating him consistently and repeatedly on the concept of consent.

Likewise. So horrified by the stories of the parents threatening to sue the accusers. I assume the parents believe their sons are innocent? I pray that I can teach my child to treat women with respect. I agree that all moms should caution their daughters about the real dangers that are out there, but let's not pretend that the real problem and the critical education lies with those of us raising the men who grow up to either treat women well or abuse them.

Boys need to be taught girls giving up sex freely may signal an issue. They should not take every offer, to be selective with sexual partners. I think this is where the fine line starts and it is a moving line.

Anonymous wrote:Ted Kennedy got drunk and drove off a bridge and killed a girl and got away with it. This country is full of people in power or good ol boy drunks abusing women and no one cares.

He went to UVA too.