I thought it was weird how she just mentioned that parents were suspicious of Tatum trying to buy gifts for their kids in like one sentence and then moved on. That seemed relevant and worth finding out more facts on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, AND I can’t help but think...

I’d someone at the school had just ASKED Relisha what was going on. “Hey, Relisha, I noticed you missed school. Is everything OK? Tell me about it? You saw the Dr? Which hospital?”

Someone at the school or the shelter could possibly have prevented this. It doesn’t mean they we to blame. Well, maybe whoever hired Tatum and looked the other way when he broke the rules repeatedly by fraternizing.

I grew up in an abusive household, granted we were white and middle class. I had accidentally said something to a friend when I was in second grade and she took it to the teacher who sat me down in private to ask. It was the most scared I had ever felt in my life and I lied my little ass off and assured her that it was all a joke and everything at home was fine. I think most abused children would do the same.

Oh, absolutely kids lie about their parents beating them or neglecting them. I think this Doctor lie was so bizarre it would be easy to see through.

Anonymous wrote:Do all the homeless children in that shelter attend the same school?

Often times yes. My school is near a shelter so we have a higher level than normal of homeless children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, AND I can’t help but think...

I’d someone at the school had just ASKED Relisha what was going on. “Hey, Relisha, I noticed you missed school. Is everything OK? Tell me about it? You saw the Dr? Which hospital?”

Someone at the school or the shelter could possibly have prevented this. It doesn’t mean they we to blame. Well, maybe whoever hired Tatum and looked the other way when he broke the rules repeatedly by fraternizing.

I grew up in an abusive household, granted we were white and middle class. I had accidentally said something to a friend when I was in second grade and she took it to the teacher who sat me down in private to ask. It was the most scared I had ever felt in my life and I lied my little ass off and assured her that it was all a joke and everything at home was fine. I think most abused children would do the same.

I’m sorry, PP. And I think you’re exactly right.

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, AND I can’t help but think...

I’d someone at the school had just ASKED Relisha what was going on. “Hey, Relisha, I noticed you missed school. Is everything OK? Tell me about it? You saw the Dr? Which hospital?”

Someone at the school or the shelter could possibly have prevented this. It doesn’t mean they we to blame. Well, maybe whoever hired Tatum and looked the other way when he broke the rules repeatedly by fraternizing.

I grew up in an abusive household, granted we were white and middle class. I had accidentally said something to a friend when I was in second grade and she took it to the teacher who sat me down in private to ask. It was the most scared I had ever felt in my life and I lied my little ass off and assured her that it was all a joke and everything at home was fine. I think most abused children would do the same.

It seems like nobody cared that Tatum worked at the shelter until this tragedy happened. Was there any repercussion for the hiring manager, the person responsible for the background check, etc.? He was a bad hire and then he violated all work rules even before he murdered his wife and most likely Relisha. I'm a manager at my job and I'm ultimately responsible for my staff following the rules. If they don't I'm in a lot of trouble and we don't deal with vulnerable populations. The background check/HR department dropped the ball too. His criminal offenses are a matter of public record under his Khalil name in DC and under Karl in VA
If I can look them up, HR should have been able to access with a CORI.

Anonymous wrote:9:59 again. I've been thinking a lot about blame, listening to this podcast. And thinking about the person a few pages back who kept asking why this was in the DCPS forum.

I thought this at the time, and I still think this now: of all involved, DPSC seems the least blameless to me, but seems to have absorbed a higher percentage of blame.

But blame is a hard thing to pin down. Clearly Tatum deserves the blame. And I think Relisha's mom deserves a large share of blame.

But then where do you go in terms of defining what made Relisha's mom that way she is, what pressures were on her from her own upbringing, having too many kids too young, the shelter breaking all their rules (hiring Tatum to begin with), etc. I don't know.

Yes, AND I can’t help but think...

I’d someone at the school had just ASKED Relisha what was going on. “Hey, Relisha, I noticed you missed school. Is everything OK? Tell me about it? You saw the Dr? Which hospital?”

Someone at the school or the shelter could possibly have prevented this. It doesn’t mean they we to blame. Well, maybe whoever hired Tatum and looked the other way when he broke the rules repeatedly by fraternizing.

So does that make the conclusion of the DC government correct?
I was outraged when they said that but if looked at another way, they could be right.

9:59 again. I've been thinking a lot about blame, listening to this podcast. And thinking about the person a few pages back who kept asking why this was in the DCPS forum.

I thought this at the time, and I still think this now: of all involved, DPSC seems the least blameless to me, but seems to have absorbed a higher percentage of blame.

But blame is a hard thing to pin down. Clearly Tatum deserves the blame. And I think Relisha's mom deserves a large share of blame.

But then where do you go in terms of defining what made Relisha's mom that way she is, what pressures were on her from her own upbringing, having too many kids too young, the shelter breaking all their rules (hiring Tatum to begin with), etc. I don't know.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who was surprised to hear Jackie Bensen described as white? I really thought she was biracial.

I was surprised by that too. So I’m not sure why that was part of the story. The same for the detective who helped. It was a very deliberate part of the story which had me scratching my head. It was very interesting to hear about the community help in looking for releaser in Kenilworth gardens. I didn’t remember that part of the story or I didn’t know about that.

I am still hopeful that one day they will find Relisha. She has stayed with me after all these years.

Credulous is a good word. She takes everything everyone says at face value.

Well - there was something once I recall her saying we could not confirm that, but it's still so passive or something. I can't even figure it out.

I guess I think that this is one of those one in million cases. Life is terrible for too many kids in DC, crammed in shelters or surfing on various relatives' good will for a while before moving on. Our systems aren't set up to truly address this problem on large scale (and the systemic change it would take to do that means they will probably never change), and so of thousands of kids in this situation over the decade (say 5 years before and 5 years after the disappearance), and there's one case on something truly terrible that hits the media in a big way happening. That means there's little incentive ot change.

Put another way, if everyone is responsible, no one is responsible.

I wonder if the age of the reporter means we're getting this sort of namby-pamby "who's to judge" type mentality, where every opinion is valid and no one can really render judgment?

I just really hope that the conclusion isn't "we're all to blame" because we accepted it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I agree on Jackie Bensen.

Can’t believe npr put out a podcast with such a credulous host but maybe that’s supposed to be part of the listening experience as well.

Good point. Maybe it's intentional? Although I think Relish a is most likely deceased now I was obsessed with her story for a long time. I prayed that she would be found. So many court records and public social media accounts available even today to glean information. The web sleuths took this up too and there are many pages of their investigations using every single detail available. I feel like the narrator didn't access all of the information available on the case or maybe she did and she is disregarding it to paint the picture she wants to paint?

Waiting to see how she wraps it up.

Yeah, she certainly seems to be light on verifiable facts.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I agree on Jackie Bensen.

Can’t believe npr put out a podcast with such a credulous host but maybe that’s supposed to be part of the listening experience as well.

Good point. Maybe it's intentional? Although I think Relish a is most likely deceased now I was obsessed with her story for a long time. I prayed that she would be found. So many court records and public social media accounts available even today to glean information. The web sleuths took this up too and there are many pages of their investigations using every single detail available. I feel like the narrator didn't access all of the information available on the case or maybe she did and she is disregarding it to paint the picture she wants to paint?

Waiting to see how she wraps it up.

Yeah I agree on Jackie Bensen.

Can’t believe npr put out a podcast with such a credulous host but maybe that’s supposed to be part of the listening experience as well.

She mentioned the race of everyone involved -- if they were white. I know it's true that the public and the authorities pay less attention to the disappearance of black people compared to white people in general but in this case it was not true so I though she was reaching.

She tried to blame the misfired Amber alert for impeding the investigation but when you're gone for 18 days before anyone notices, finding you in going to be tough.