Anonymous
Post 10/22/2018 07:44     Subject: Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to add to this, even though it was originally posted years ago. I was left quite a bit of money by my (paternal) grandfather. My mother, his daughter in law, when completely money crazy. She manipulated me out of a good chunk of it by making me feel guilty and saying that I needed to pay her back for having raised me. She immediately lost half of this money to bad investments and bad spending habits. My husband and I work and we live as frugal as possible. the money that was left allowed us to pay off our house, invest, and pay off any of our debts. If we hadn't given my mother that money we could have saved more for our retirement. My relationship with my mother is almost completely destroyed. Please do not jeopardize your relationship with your children over this money. Look on the bright side! Your youngest children might have their college completely paid for with this money. that means you don't have to pay for it yourself. Also, since they have received an inheritance already you don't have to leave them anything; unless you want too. If you are worried about them all spending it frivolously then suggest a trust fund. That way their college funds will stay safe. As for your oldest she should be old enough to decide what to do with what she gets. If she wants to spend it all on designer bags it will be her choice. This money is a gift to your children. This inheritance could really help them in life and that is a blessing.


Good God.

If you wanted to tell a story about yourself create a new post, but don't revive a zombie thread from almost FIVE years ago.

Why would you be responding to the OP 5 years later??
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 19:43     Subject: Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope - my parents are leaving all their money to my daughter and my brother's son (in a trust). My grandmother left all her money to my brother and I.

My parents are still alive, but the trust is set up that my daughter will be able to access some of the money for college, some of the money at 20 and the rest of the trust at 30.

I don't think I should have any say in my parents money - and my brother and I have told my parents NOT to tell the kids about the money, so they don't know its coming.

We make our own way in life - and shouldn't plan on the work (or money) of others.


Read what you wrote


seriously
this person got a windfall from their own grandparents and now she is lecturing others, unbelievable
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 19:42     Subject: Re:Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. Her money her choice. I think its nice she is leaving it to YOUR children which enables them an easier life. My parents left 1.8 million dollars to a University, leaving my siblings all with 10 grand each. I loved my parents and really respect their choice.


When people have this kind of reaction I assume that they are already quite comfortable and didn't need the money. So, great for them, but let's not act like they are being so mature and magnanimous with their response.


+1
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 15:32     Subject: Re:Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
I never wanted to inherit anything from my parents because I wanted them to live forever. Well, they both made it to over 90 by which point I had earned all the money I needed and all of our housing and education costs were behind us and we had plenty of assets for retirement. So once we got the inheritance we had a lot of joy giving it away in my parents names to people in need, some who had taken care of them in the last years of their lives. We did pass some of it along to our adult children but not enough to spoil them. No one is owed or deserves an inheritance but it is a wonderful gift for those who really need it.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 15:29     Subject: Re:Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nope. Her money her choice. I think its nice she is leaving it to YOUR children which enables them an easier life. My parents left 1.8 million dollars to a University, leaving my siblings all with 10 grand each. I loved my parents and really respect their choice.


When people have this kind of reaction I assume that they are already quite comfortable and didn't need the money. So, great for them, but let's not act like they are being so mature and magnanimous with their response.


+1

I work in major donor fundraising. People act like it’s some grand act of altruism to leave their money to a nonprofit. These people
Would be rolling over in their graves if they could see what I see as far as how much donor money gets wasted. Further, I can’t think of a worse recipient of money than a university, even if it goes to a scholarship fund. Universities are completely bloated operations with no incentive to keep costs low as it is.

Family money should stay in the family.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 10:53     Subject: Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Anonymous wrote:Nope - my parents are leaving all their money to my daughter and my brother's son (in a trust). My grandmother left all her money to my brother and I.

My parents are still alive, but the trust is set up that my daughter will be able to access some of the money for college, some of the money at 20 and the rest of the trust at 30.

I don't think I should have any say in my parents money - and my brother and I have told my parents NOT to tell the kids about the money, so they don't know its coming.

We make our own way in life - and shouldn't plan on the work (or money) of others.


Read what you wrote
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 10:49     Subject: Re:Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
When both of my parents passed away recently my siblings and I were in our 50's and 60's and we were all well established in our careers. For estate planning purposes, for a few years before they died they did the maximum annual gifts to every child, spouse, grandchild, and great grandchild. When they died most of the siblings elected to allow their inheritance to pass directly to their children because most of us don't need to money at this point in our lives and at our ages we are all thinking about estate planning. So I think it all depends on the individual circumstances. If you have a good relationship with your parents I think it's useful to have a good conversation about estate planning with them so that their wishes can be fulfilled while knowing your circumstance.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 10:42     Subject: Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Yes, you should be upset. Sounds like you mom is a manipulative, punitive SOB who is doing this as some dementia induced game. Sadly, if she is of clear mind, there is nothing you can do about it. I am sorry that you mom is using you as a scapegoat for whatever her issue is.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 10:40     Subject: Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Y'all realize the OP posted this FIVE YEARS AGO????
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2018 10:23     Subject: Re:Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?
Anonymous wrote:Nope. Her money her choice. I think its nice she is leaving it to YOUR children which enables them an easier life. My parents left 1.8 million dollars to a University, leaving my siblings all with 10 grand each. I loved my parents and really respect their choice.


When people have this kind of reaction I assume that they are already quite comfortable and didn't need the money. So, great for them, but let's not act like they are being so mature and magnanimous with their response.