This is about candy. CANDY! Are you all actually saying that you give your child CANDY? Isn't that a huge DCUM faux pas?

I cannot believe there are 14 pages of this crap.

Is this rude? We have a 9-month-old and will not be taking him trick-or-treating. He goes to bed at 7:00, and we start quiet time at 6:00 and bedtime routine at 6:30, so we were not planning to hand out candy since we don't want to be interrupted by constant knocks on the door. We will be home, but porch lights off. Are we awful neighbors, or is this acceptable? (we did candy last year but this baby's a crap sleeper and I don't want to do anything that will interrupt his nighttime sleep!)

No, not rude. And, it all depends on your situation.

DH takes kids out trick or treating and you get to be IN YOUR HOUSE ALONE for an hour. Don't give that up. Pour a glass of wine, turn on a good movie that isn't animated, and occasionally throw some candy in the direction of the door.

Anonymous wrote:The biggest factor here is where you live. I'd say only about a fourth of the families in our neighborhood have small kids, so there are plenty of single folks/empty nesters/ parents with teens who can stay home to distribute candy. It's a given in our neighborhood that the families with small kids are out trick-or-treating and not home giving out candy. It works well for us.

Ding ding ding!!! Our neighborhood also has plenty of families without small kids. We tell our child that we only go to the homes where the porch light is on.

DH was going to stay home and hand out candy. His colleagues son passed away last weekend and the wake is tomorrow night. I will be taking the kids out and there will be no one home to pass out candy. You never know what is going on in people's lives.

Anonymous wrote:Look, I am usually all about the "what if everyone did it?" argument, but in this case it just doesn't hold water unless the vast majority of families on your block have kids under 8 or so. Most neighborhoods have enough of a balance that this isn't relevant. And if there really are that many families with small kids on a block, then yes, you should probably take turns handing out candy. But otherwise you're just being a martyr.

Every single house on our street has kids under 10. Makes for a fun an active Halloween, but it also means most if us - all of us, really, split up duties. One parent hands out candy, the other goes with DD (6 years old). It would be as much fun if half the homes were dark.

Do you actually walk all the way to the door with them?

Yes, I will be walking all the way to the door with my two-yr old who may need some supervision going up and down people's front steps in the dark in her costume or may get knocked over by other kids or may be a bit afraid to go to someone's door without me. Is that ok with you?

Anonymous wrote:Trick or Treating is not the same anymore if you have kids.

You want to be with your kid(s) and see them trick or treat. Some people just don't like to open doors to kids. Some kids are just rude, they grab the candies.

Do you actually walk all the way to the door with them?

Of course it's about the parents. We both want to watch the kids trick-or-treat. I do not owe it to the neighborhood to make sure someone is on duty every second. I think you misunderstand freeloading. Freeloading would be if you take your children trick-or-treating every single year but never hand out candy. Freeloading is NOT deciding to turn on your light an hour later than some other folks do. We gave out candy pre-kids, we will give out candy after our kids are too old, and we give out candy when we get home from watching our children go around the block. People who think this is rude are nuts.

Yes, exactly. What is so wrong with a parent wanting to enjoy watching his or her kid trick or treat for 20 minutes?

Trick or Treating is not the same anymore if you have kids.

You want to be with your kid(s) and see them trick or treat. Some people just don't like to open doors to kids. Some kids are just rude, they grab the candies.

Anonymous wrote:This is pure insanity.

Neighborhoods are different.

The needs/wants of babies and toddlers are different from those of 5+ year olds.

Parents' schedules can be crazy.

All of these factor in when deciding how to handle Halloween. There is no one universal correct answer to this.

Live and let live, people.

THE END. of this thread. Please.

This is pure insanity.

Neighborhoods are different.

The needs/wants of babies and toddlers are different from those of 5+ year olds.

Parents' schedules can be crazy.

All of these factor in when deciding how to handle Halloween. There is no one universal correct answer to this.

Live and let live, people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are craaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

If your neighbors are going to be mad that your house is dark for an hour, you live in a mean neighborhood. Move somewhere normal.

Yep.

Nope. This intentionally misses the point. No one is mad just because your lights are off, maybe you have to work or travel or don't have kids and don't care to participate. That's cool. Honestly, that is what I have always assumed when I saw lights out and not taught twice about it. But it is completely different if you are turning out your lights, and not leaving a bowl, so that two parents can take snowflake to freeload candy from your neighbors.

It is also worth pointing out that having two parents come is completely about the parents, and how they want to experience Halloween. Most kids could care less if Mommy and Daddy about both behind them as they dart from house to house. Trick or treating is not family-focused, quality time.

My husband and I both want to see our DC's first trick or treating. I'm passive-aggressive sorry if this is helicoptering or snowflake-y to you, but for some of us the magic of parenting hasn't been choked out of everything we do. No one's going to die if they have to take some candy from a bowl over a half an hour period. I wonder if you people are this wound up about everything in your lives or if you just come here to blow off your excess bitchery.

Anonymous wrote:People are craaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

If your neighbors are going to be mad that your house is dark for an hour, you live in a mean neighborhood. Move somewhere normal.

Exactly. People have no clue why that house is dark either.

We had one year that our was absolutely pitch black. Not a single light on anywhere and no candy out. Why? Because our youngest had been in the hospital for two days and was still there. I was at home that evening, trying to get a couple of hours' sleep while dh was at the hospital. Dark house meant nothing, people still knocked and rang the bell.

There is more going on in people's lives than opening the door to hand kids candy. You don't know why that house is dark or why there is no bowl out. (There wasn't one out here because after 48 hours of almost no sleep and a lot of worry we really didn't care)

If a house is dark, MOVE ON! and quit judging the people who live there. Maybe they are out with their child, maybe they aren't. It's none of your business.