Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 23:13     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
It really made me sad to hear about this guy's controlling what you and your kids buy to eat, and that the 3 of you are underweight. That's terrible.

This man is beyond repair.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 22:41     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
OK, don't post the email. But you could give us a sense of his arguments vs. yours.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 22:21     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:If you want him to pay for your house, put him on the title. Otherwise, you're wanting him to pay for an asset that is yours. No reason your finances should be joint until you get married.


How about paying rent? Contributing to the household?

Read the thread first. It might stop you from sounding like an idiot.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 22:19     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
If you want him to pay for your house, put him on the title. Otherwise, you're wanting him to pay for an asset that is yours. No reason your finances should be joint until you get married.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 22:13     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
I would not post the email ... keep that private.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 22:11     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
She should not post the email. He probably is reading this very thread and he could become enraged or violent. Who cares about the email. Let's continue to offer support. Clearly this guy is an ass and will certainly try to manipulate her every chance he gets.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 20:26     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm still not entirely sure this is a real post considering how OP went from a totally spineless, "I deserve to be treated like this" mentality to "I showed him this thread and he is leaving" fairly quickly.

I

Agreed. Doesn't quite pass the smell test.


I disagree. Its not like Sabrina went from being spineless to kicking him out. I think dcum gave her courage to say something. She probably showed him this thread as a way to validate her position. She never had that before and he would always turn it on her. Now she could say (even meekly) that she isn't crazy or out for his money. Because she had pages and pages of people agreeing with her. He walked out. She didn't kick him out (that would have been suspicious) he walked out. And even after that she was second guessing herself. That sounds pretty consist ent with her original post.

Regarding his email. Its not that there could be another opinion of him. She should post it to get our support when she starts doubting herself because he is trying to manipulate her into letting him move back. And she isn't strong. Let's face it. She kept believing his crap. She just needs more pages of posts confirming that what she did was right.


One can support her without seeing the emails.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 20:00     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm still not entirely sure this is a real post considering how OP went from a totally spineless, "I deserve to be treated like this" mentality to "I showed him this thread and he is leaving" fairly quickly.

I

Agreed. Doesn't quite pass the smell test.


I disagree. Its not like Sabrina went from being spineless to kicking him out. I think dcum gave her courage to say something. She probably showed him this thread as a way to validate her position. She never had that before and he would always turn it on her. Now she could say (even meekly) that she isn't crazy or out for his money. Because she had pages and pages of people agreeing with her. He walked out. She didn't kick him out (that would have been suspicious) he walked out. And even after that she was second guessing herself. That sounds pretty consist ent with her original post.

Regarding his email. Its not that there could be another opinion of him. She should post it to get our support when she starts doubting herself because he is trying to manipulate her into letting him move back. And she isn't strong. Let's face it. She kept believing his crap. She just needs more pages of posts confirming that what she did was right.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 16:10     Subject: Re:What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:OP, my advice is NOT to post the emails.

There is nothing that other DCUMers can offer based on the email exchanges. I think those who urge posting it are just curious. Is anyone going to change their mind because of anything he says in the email?

I think you should respect his privacy. You come across as a very nice, decent person. You should not do anything you would regret later.


I agree (and don't completely believe this is real). It's none of our business; the same posters asking you to post it would be FURIOUS if he posted one of yours on a public forum.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 16:07     Subject: Re:What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
I'm still not entirely sure this is a real post considering how OP went from a totally spineless, "I deserve to be treated like this" mentality to "I showed him this thread and he is leaving" fairly quickly.


That's the power of a 10-page entirely unanimous thread. Has there ever been another one? Think of the things we could accomplish!
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 15:34     Subject: What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:I'm still not entirely sure this is a real post considering how OP went from a totally spineless, "I deserve to be treated like this" mentality to "I showed him this thread and he is leaving" fairly quickly.

I

Agreed. Doesn't quite pass the smell test.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 15:21     Subject: Re:What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
OP, my advice is NOT to post the emails.

There is nothing that other DCUMers can offer based on the email exchanges. I think those who urge posting it are just curious. Is anyone going to change their mind because of anything he says in the email?

I think you should respect his privacy. You come across as a very nice, decent person. You should not do anything you would regret later.
Sabrina55
Post 08/08/2013 12:03     Subject: Re:What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Anonymous wrote:
Sabrina55 wrote:I was not going to post the email because I felt it was disrespectful but at this point I don't care. I do want to see what outsiders think whether I am wrong or not. I am not proud of this email and I am usually not like this but I was mad and wanted to say all the things I kept inside and never said because he always had a way of making me feel I was wrong. I do still keep going back and forth whether I am over reacting or asking too much or should have just focused on the good and been happy for what I did have. I did edit very little just to remove information that would give away who we are, cause this is embarrassing and I did not tell anyone the majority of this, I always just told friends and family good things because I wanted everyone to like him and I don't talk behind anyone's back. I really do appreciate everyone's support and advice. Thank you


A bit of therapy might be helpful, OP. you don't have to go long-term. But this relationship has made you feel very unsure of yourself. A therapist can help you see things more objectively, give coping skills, and build up that self esteem a bit more. Big hugs.


Thanks he did make me feel crazy and therapy I guess would confirm that. I am having a hard time copying and pasting the email the way it was actually written and the way I replied you'll understand when it's posted what I mean, all while still trying to deal with customers. It will be up soon.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 11:53     Subject: Re:What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Sabrina55 wrote:I was not going to post the email because I felt it was disrespectful but at this point I don't care. I do want to see what outsiders think whether I am wrong or not. I am not proud of this email and I am usually not like this but I was mad and wanted to say all the things I kept inside and never said because he always had a way of making me feel I was wrong. I do still keep going back and forth whether I am over reacting or asking too much or should have just focused on the good and been happy for what I did have. I did edit very little just to remove information that would give away who we are, cause this is embarrassing and I did not tell anyone the majority of this, I always just told friends and family good things because I wanted everyone to like him and I don't talk behind anyone's back. I really do appreciate everyone's support and advice. Thank you


A bit of therapy might be helpful, OP. you don't have to go long-term. But this relationship has made you feel very unsure of yourself. A therapist can help you see things more objectively, give coping skills, and build up that self esteem a bit more. Big hugs.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 11:50     Subject: Re:What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?
Sabrina55 wrote:I was not going to post the email because I felt it was disrespectful but at this point I don't care. I do want to see what outsiders think whether I am wrong or not. I am not proud of this email and I am usually not like this but I was mad and wanted to say all the things I kept inside and never said because he always had a way of making me feel I was wrong. I do still keep going back and forth whether I am over reacting or asking too much or should have just focused on the good and been happy for what I did have. I did edit very little just to remove information that would give away who we are, cause this is embarrassing and I did not tell anyone the majority of this, I always just told friends and family good things because I wanted everyone to like him and I don't talk behind anyone's back. I really do appreciate everyone's support and advice. Thank you


Please do post the email.