I was a nerd brain in highschool.

Went to a top college and was a tad offended someone didn't want me of all people in her study group because she said I partied too much! She was right I partied, but I still had plenty to contribute. Her loss!

Fr & Soph - innocent nerd
Fr & Sr - partied like a rock star

I partied well into my 30s and now just have a normal life with 2 kids, although I don't make that much $$. DH was a jock + played in a band and now makes $300k. If we moved back to our hometown, we'd be ,01%ers.

Kids in my H.S. who had parents that owned companies have gone into the family business. A few have become the Drs and lawyers in town. Many moved away to the large city nearby.

I was popular and kind of slutty. Now I’m 32 with a dead end job and a loser.

I don't know, really. I went to a private school where the vast majority of the kids worked hard, so I don't think nerds were really ostracized. There was a group of kids who were geeks, though, and people made fun of them. Then there were the jocks of course. I was in the vast middle ground. I had my group of friends, did orchestra and community service, yoga for my "sport" (we all had to pick a sport and lord knows I wasn't going to do anything else), and spent my weekends playing electric guitar in my room and watching movies with my friends.

I'm 32 now and am married with a kid. I have a job I love (and still play guitar). My husband was definitely bullied, but now he makes a ton of money as a marketing exec, so I guess joke's on those kids.

I wasn’t really any of these.

I was fairly reserved, had my set friend group of drama geeks and academics. I have a learning disability (dyslexia, ADHD, SPD) so struggled in school as a child but did really well (thanks medication) in HS and ended up competing in academic competitions and graduated with honors. Still wasn’t considered one of the smart kids, not geeky either. Never bullied, got along with most of the other groups except for the popular kids but I never cared that much. Average looking, average grade, kind of forgettable but happy. I liked HS so much better when I stopped caring about the totem poll and just found my people.

Now I’m a PA, wife and mother of three. I’m happy. I have a good job that pays well. I keep up with a handful of friends from HS through social media and 90% of the popular kids ended up back in our small town working mid-range jobs like me (accounting, nursing, teaching, first responders).

The most popular girl ended up being a pediatrician at the one doctors office in town. She was one of those girls that was popular, beautiful, nice and intelligent. She did end up marrying her HS boyfriend who was a massive jerk, he’s a cop now.

Anonymous wrote:I was smart, athletic, social, pretty and confident. I didn't really care about cliques or anything else. I just did what I wanted and befriended who I wanted.

High school was a great time for me. I loved it. Had lots of friends, didn't care about peer pressure or any of the teen angst issues, had a lot of fun and just lived life.

This all carried through my late twenties and it has all been downhill from there. On paper I look successful but health issues, and life have just dragged me down. I would give a lot to regain the happiness and confidence I had in high school

This is very common: pretty, popular girls (and boys as well) peaking in high school. I wish I could understand why.

Anonymous wrote:I was smart, athletic, social, pretty and confident. I didn't really care about cliques or anything else. I just did what I wanted and befriended who I wanted.

High school was a great time for me. I loved it. Had lots of friends, didn't care about peer pressure or any of the teen angst issues, had a lot of fun and just lived life.

This all carried through my late twenties and it has all been downhill from there. On paper I look successful but health issues, and life have just dragged me down. I would give a lot to regain the happiness and confidence I had in high school

I really regret not knowing how confident I SHOULD have felt. It sucks to feel to bad about yourself, then grow up and realize I was hot and cute and had great things going for me. One of the HOTTESt guys in school got on me hard, Alone at a concert together. And I missed the “clues,” his hand on my hips, because I didn’t feel worthy of being loved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a pothead, dropped lots of acid, was pretty damn messed up even through most of college. I’m a successful business owner now with a good family. You would never guess my past.

You're an outlier.

My friend dropped acid in Hs and regrets it every day. Still carries huge shame and guilt about it. He didn’t know the supplier, and put his life into someone else’s hands.

A fellow mom with teens (I have young kids) lost her oldest to a bad batch. Everyone at the party got insanely sick, and he died there on the spot. His friends were high while they watched him die.

Just saying this for the kids reading.

Don’t do drugs!

I was smart, athletic, social, pretty and confident. I didn't really care about cliques or anything else. I just did what I wanted and befriended who I wanted.

High school was a great time for me. I loved it. Had lots of friends, didn't care about peer pressure or any of the teen angst issues, had a lot of fun and just lived life.

This all carried through my late twenties and it has all been downhill from there. On paper I look successful but health issues, and life have just dragged me down. I would give a lot to regain the happiness and confidence I had in high school

Very shy. Really didn't go out. Went to 2 different schools. The first school I had a group of people I hovered around. Second school I was more of a loner. I was just very socially awkward . Looking back I probably needed anxiety medication.

Anonymous wrote:I was a pothead, dropped lots of acid, was pretty damn messed up even through most of college. I’m a successful business owner now with a good family. You would never guess my past.

You're an outlier.

The popular kids all live in the same small town: most of the cheerleaders don't work and have 3-4 kids, the good-looking jocks work mostly manual jobs.

Us nerds moved to the cities and mostly make good money in professional jobs.

I didn't read the whole thread, but think that you don't need to paint things so black and white for your dd. She needs self-confidence, not to become extra judgmental.

(That said, your main thesis is true in my case. At my high school, many of the rich cool kids partied, drank, and did drugs starting in high school. Many did not get into to good colleges. Some were handed family businesses or Wall Street internships (rich Connecticut suburb of NYC), but many just flailed in real life.

Our 25th high school reunion was definitely like revenge of the nerds. Many of the band and theater geeks were late bloomers who looked awesome (and hadn't harmed their bodies with years and years of alcohol and/or drugs). The male jocks did not look so great. Women were a mix, and you could tell who tanned or smoked a lot. Those of us who worked hard in school ended up with great careers. A few "cool" kids turned around, but most did not. Almost the entire cheerleading squad (no joke, at least 9 out of 12) sells lularose or rodan&fields or herbalife or stella&dot as their main "career," which is fine if that's what they want to do, but at least the few I talked to didn't seem happy about it.)

Anonymous wrote:“Nerds rule the world” as they long as they DO something.

Of the cool kids, I know so many that are beer-bellied townies now. Ouch. Sorry, that’s harsh.

The cool kids who lasted were also smart. The cool kids with bad grades..as I said beer-bellied.

And I wanted to add. Most people are normal. Most people aren’t cool or nerds, and we all have successful things and crappy things happen to us

“Nerds rule the world” as they long as they DO something.

Of the cool kids, I know so many that are beer-bellied townies now. Ouch. Sorry, that’s harsh.

The cool kids who lasted were also smart. The cool kids with bad grades..as I said beer-bellied.