Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend Dan wrote for the Village voice " ask a guy who likes fat chicks". He is sane, normal, and an overall awesome person. He is just attracted to fat women. There are plenty of "normal" guys just like him. Like I said before I want to lose weight soley for health reasons. I don't think I'm at a healthy weight. That said I'm not going to hate my body because it's not perfect. Yes I am sexy, yes I am beautiful, I'm fun to be around, I'm caring, and deserving of love.

I'm glad that you met a nice, normal guy who can appreciate you and is attracted to you. You are right that you are desrving of love. However, I don't think that there are "plenty" of normal guys that are attracted to overweight women. Yes, there are certainly a few, but most men are attracted to average to thin women, just as most women are attracted to average-sized men. It definitely makes the dating pool smaller if you are severely overweight. That's not a reason to feel bad about yourself, it sounds like you have found someone great, but to deny that this is the case doesn't make sense.

Of course the dating pool might be smaller because not everyone is attracted to fat women. I'm not debating that, what I'm saying is there isn't just some miniscule amount of men who like fat women. I make my own pool smaller because I have a certain type. I may not be attracted to many of the men on this board. They may not be attracted to me, and that's fine. Everyone likes what they like.

Yes, the pool is miniscule. And yes, it is a fetish to be attracted to very large women. And no, most men are not going to come out and say they have a fetish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:39 get over yourself.

you must be fat and even if you arent who cares. there are fat people who go around wallowing in being big and who everyday go around bitching that they need to lose weight and do nothing about it. i simply asked OP if that was her and she said no and i was done.

you selectively skip everything else i said in that my comment was aimed at what i saw as others, not OP saying about being fat.

if you are fat, i can tell you are one of those who while putting up a front that they are "ok" with their size seeks every opportunity to get all up in arms at the slightest perceived attack on them.

Again with the childish insult - really, you're digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. I'm not fat. I run, lift weights and eat healthily. But I am not perfect and don't understand why other people being fat is just so darn offensive to you! Does it also bother you when people complain about their dry skin, but don't moisturize sufficiently?

and you continue to skip over everything else i say. the part about me saying if you arent who cares went right by you huh? whatever i had to say had nothing to do with you being fat or not but i thought i would inquire since you defend them so hard.

whatever im saying has nothing to do with if you are fat or not. i was just making a side comment that i wouldnt be too surprised if you were fat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend Dan wrote for the Village voice " ask a guy who likes fat chicks". He is sane, normal, and an overall awesome person. He is just attracted to fat women. There are plenty of "normal" guys just like him. Like I said before I want to lose weight soley for health reasons. I don't think I'm at a healthy weight. That said I'm not going to hate my body because it's not perfect. Yes I am sexy, yes I am beautiful, I'm fun to be around, I'm caring, and deserving of love.

I'm glad that you met a nice, normal guy who can appreciate you and is attracted to you. You are right that you are desrving of love. However, I don't think that there are "plenty" of normal guys that are attracted to overweight women. Yes, there are certainly a few, but most men are attracted to average to thin women, just as most women are attracted to average-sized men. It definitely makes the dating pool smaller if you are severely overweight. That's not a reason to feel bad about yourself, it sounds like you have found someone great, but to deny that this is the case doesn't make sense.

Of course the dating pool might be smaller because not everyone is attracted to fat women. I'm not debating that, what I'm saying is there isn't just some miniscule amount of men who like fat women. I make my own pool smaller because I have a certain type. I may not be attracted to many of the men on this board. They may not be attracted to me, and that's fine. Everyone likes what they like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PP, it sounds like you have a lot of self-hatred that you are projecting onto the OP and other overweight people. If you have lost the weight, it's time for some therapy to help you embrace the new you. Seriously, I know everyone says that on DCUM, but you should talk to someone to try and enjoy yourself instead of harping at other people and imagining that your experience defines that of all overweight people.

Actually I had to attend support group meetings in order to have the surgery done and what you discover is that "fat girl" experiences are universal. The group was made up of women and men from all walks of life, all ages, all stages, all professions - yet our experiences and excuses and issues were across the board the same. So yes, I have no problem "imagining" that my experience defines all overweight people.

op here. Ivee been to some of those meetings to but in a different part of the country. Everyone didnt sound like you.

Anonymous wrote:

We will have to agree to disagree.It doesn't matter if you believe me or not. Maybe you just came across shitty men, I don't know. I don't know you, or where you were looking. Plenty of people have weight loss surgery, and gain it back why? Because they didn't change their habits. WLS is not a magic pill. I am currently seeing a dietician, and therapist ( for many reasons) please don't pretend that because you knew people " like me" you know what it's like to be me. I feel sorry for you honestly. I feel sorry that you could love yourself from the inside until you lost the weight. That makes me sad. My normal, decent, boyfriend is attracted to all types of women, INCLUDING me. Even the plus sized pin-up, porn industry is a multi million dollar industry that money is coming from somewhere. My friend Dan wrote for the Village voice " ask a guy who likes fat chicks". He is sane, normal, and an overall awesome person. He is just attracted to fat women. There are plenty of "normal" guys just like him. Like I said before I want to lose weight soley for health reasons. I don't think I'm at a healthy weight. That said I'm not going to hate my body because it's not perfect. Yes I am sexy, yes I am beautiful, I'm fun to be around, I'm caring, and deserving of love. I am a person, There are more things to me than my weight! I am someones sister, someones daughter, and a friend to many. I did state earlier in the thread that I used to binge eat all the time. I don't know why I'm reiterating this. Since I've been seeing my dietician, I don't feel the need to do that anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Morbid fascination with how people let themselves get that fat. My husband is fit, married me because he liked my athleticism and fit body. He also told me he would considering leaving me if I let myself go and gave up our athletic lifestyle. Sounds harsh to most, but I appreciate it and see where he is coming from bc it's not about the body size it would be that I was a totally different person with different interests.

Sucks to be you.

I'm fit, I'm actually running the DC marathon this St Patty's day. I'm 5'9" and 135lbs. My DH met me at 125, which of course was too thin, but one can't control a fast metabolism.

HOWEVER, anyone is one illness or one injury away from fat...even me. I could tear my ACL or snap a hamstring on Saturday....I could get a cancer Dx next month. But guess what? I know my DH will still love me and still stick by my side, through THICK and THIN.

I'm 100% supportive of people of any shape or size, I feel sorry for you all who value people by the number on the scale. I hope none of you end up with fat kids (especially you, poster) as it seems that they will not be worthy of your love, maybe not even worthy of being a whole person. Pitiful.

Thank you, PP, for saying this. I am a cancer patient whose lifestyle and body did change as a result of my diagnosis. If it wasn't for my husband who did stick by my side through my surgeries and treatments, I don't know where I would have been. And you're right, it does suck to be the PP you were replying to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PP, it sounds like you have a lot of self-hatred that you are projecting onto the OP and other overweight people. If you have lost the weight, it's time for some therapy to help you embrace the new you. Seriously, I know everyone says that on DCUM, but you should talk to someone to try and enjoy yourself instead of harping at other people and imagining that your experience defines that of all overweight people.

Actually I had to attend support group meetings in order to have the surgery done and what you discover is that "fat girl" experiences are universal. The group was made up of women and men from all walks of life, all ages, all stages, all professions - yet our experiences and excuses and issues were across the board the same. So yes, I have no problem "imagining" that my experience defines all overweight people.

Anonymous wrote:11:21 here again who everyone thinks has a SOB for a husband, my marriage has also survived a shitload more than weight issues so I am not concerned like people have suggested I should be.

Anonymous wrote:

PP, it sounds like you have a lot of self-hatred that you are projecting onto the OP and other overweight people. If you have lost the weight, it's time for some therapy to help you embrace the new you. Seriously, I know everyone says that on DCUM, but you should talk to someone to try and enjoy yourself instead of harping at other people and imagining that your experience defines that of all overweight people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you could snap your fingers and be skinny, would you?

Nope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:39 get over yourself.

you must be fat and even if you arent who cares. there are fat people who go around wallowing in being big and who everyday go around bitching that they need to lose weight and do nothing about it. i simply asked OP if that was her and she said no and i was done.

you selectively skip everything else i said in that my comment was aimed at what i saw as others, not OP saying about being fat.

if you are fat, i can tell you are one of those who while putting up a front that they are "ok" with their size seeks every opportunity to get all up in arms at the slightest perceived attack on them.

Again with the childish insult - really, you're digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. I'm not fat. I run, lift weights and eat healthily. But I am not perfect and don't understand why other people being fat is just so darn offensive to you! Does it also bother you when people complain about their dry skin, but don't moisturize sufficiently?

and you continue to skip over everything else i say. the part about me saying if you arent who cares went right by you huh? whatever i had to say had nothing to do with you being fat or not but i thought i would inquire since you defend them so hard.

whatever im saying has nothing to do with if you are fat or not. i was just making a side comment that i wouldnt be too surprised if you were fat.

Anonymous wrote:Life changes, people change as they get older they grow, things happen... I feel really sorry for the people who are in marriages that would break up over changes in their physical appearance. In either direction, with either spouse.

(from a thinning fat girl who's marriage has survived far more than weight loss/gain and is 100% confident that when I am done losing this weight, that I will still have a husband who loves me.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:39 get over yourself.

you must be fat and even if you arent who cares. there are fat people who go around wallowing in being big and who everyday go around bitching that they need to lose weight and do nothing about it. i simply asked OP if that was her and she said no and i was done.

you selectively skip everything else i said in that my comment was aimed at what i saw as others, not OP saying about being fat.

if you are fat, i can tell you are one of those who while putting up a front that they are "ok" with their size seeks every opportunity to get all up in arms at the slightest perceived attack on them.

Again with the childish insult - really, you're digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. I'm not fat. I run, lift weights and eat healthily. But I am not perfect and don't understand why other people being fat is just so darn offensive to you! Does it also bother you when people complain about their dry skin, but don't moisturize sufficiently?