Anonymous wrote:Isn’t it illegal to host a party with kids below 21yo (some are even below 18yo)? Do high schools usually discipline students for drinking in such parties?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your kid, OP!

And by all means go ahead and be proud.

But…

Denigrating your siblings and their children…or most kids, really…sigh…not nice.

Moreover, let me share some observations as a very successful DC professional in my 50s with a handful of kids and many dozens of relatives spanning from tweens to early 30s:

1. Tons of us landed amazing jobs and have fabulous lives despite going to state schools or no name colleges.

2. I know far too many kids who never did much with their fancy degrees. I think most people are either motivated or not. The fact that you forced your kid to do so much could mean they will fizzle out once you aren’t pushing them.

3. Anyone who struggles with anxiety and/or depression tends to struggle during their college years—especially the first year. I hope you will be nearby and frequently checking in. I know kids who quietly left top schools after the first year because they couldn’t live independently while managing their issues. And that’s okay.

4. Most of the financially successful people I know in their 30s own a business—and some didn’t bother with college. Some started in the trades and opened their own company. These people own the fanciest homes plus vacation homes and quickly became millionaires. It’s not for everyone, but it’s shocking how quickly they amassed wealth as Ivy educated kids are working harder for far less.

Your #4 seems completely made up. Only a very small percentage of people in the trades who own their own companies become millionaires…and that requires building a fairly large company of like 50+ employees (with lots of trucks and other assets which aren’t free).

All of the trade folks who do work on my house own their own companies and they would all laugh that they are raking it in. None encouraged their children to follow in their footsteps…which doesn’t mean not learning a trade, but rather go work for a large company as an electrician, don’t do it on your own.

On the other hand…every day we read about 25 year olds becoming billionaires by starting an AI company or similar tech company. This is DC, and we all know 30-something BigLaw partners that are pulling down big $$$s.

It’s a fact, pp.

I know, I was surprised too.

I know two young men who opted for the trades after high school. After learning the ropes they got union jobs and then built their own business on the side. After only a few years, they were launched and making excellent money.

Because they actually know how to do things themselves, they’ve invested in real estate and either flip or rent properties.

These young men have gorgeous homes, vacation homes, and kids in area privates.

Because I know plenty of people like this intimately, I know they personally net north of $1M each year (after paying out their teams). And the rental income is just gravy.

I know someone who owns multiple properties who told me he can easily pay for his kids’ college, weddings, plus a first home thanks to his real estate holdings alone.

DH and I are white collar professionals in Dcumlandia who have a very nice home and have college covered for our kids, but we missed the boat when compared to our blue collar peers…and the younger generations of men in the trades are on track to outpace given what they’ve learned from their fathers.

BS

Most trades men go out of business because they don’t have an education

My BIL owns HVAC company in Florida 90 percent if his hires never make real money they work hourly with little benefits

I know a HVAC guy in NYC who definitely pulls in $1m+ and so does my friend’s dad who owns a plumbing company. They have a gorgeous home. I do not look down at these people.

DH is a surgeon and we also pull a seven figure HHI.

Not all surgeons make seven figures and not all HVAC guys make seven figures.

"We"

Anonymous wrote:Why was there alcohol in the prom? Was anyone disciplined for sneaking in the vodka?

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted ED1 to an elite university. Husband and I have worked for years to help him with grades, encouraging increased in AP classes, motivation, ec's, supporting his varsity sport, helping with the mental toughness training/support required for the sport, requiring DS do volunteer work, etc. throughout high school.

Our parenting style differs from our siblings parenting style - they are more "live and let live." DS has also overcome struggles with anxiety and social issues (stress in his sport and around acclimating to a new HS), even us finding vape carts and getting him a therapist). A visit to the emergency room on prom after too much vodka. So many opportunities to veer too far off track.

I'm just feeling so grateful, his senior year, to be on the other side with him heading to a great school with amazing opportunities. I'm also feeling validated with our parenting style. Most importantly, DS is extremely proud of his accomplishment. He did it! We did it! Feeling proud and emotional about this next phase. Parents need to pat ourselves on the back sometimes🥹

Anonymous wrote:A surgeon is just a mechanic with a more expensive malpractice insurance policy.

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted ED1 to an elite university. Husband and I have worked for years to help him with grades, encouraging increased in AP classes, motivation, ec's, supporting his varsity sport, helping with the mental toughness training/support required for the sport, requiring DS do volunteer work, etc. throughout high school.

Our parenting style differs from our siblings parenting style - they are more "live and let live." DS has also overcome struggles with anxiety and social issues (stress in his sport and around acclimating to a new HS), even us finding vape carts and getting him a therapist). A visit to the emergency room on prom after too much vodka. So many opportunities to veer too far off track.

I'm just feeling so grateful, his senior year, to be on the other side with him heading to a great school with amazing opportunities. I'm also feeling validated with our parenting style. Most importantly, DS is extremely proud of his accomplishment. He did it! We did it! Feeling proud and emotional about this next phase. Parents need to pat ourselves on the back sometimes🥹

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats, OP, for finding your way through the chaos of the high school years. I understood from your post that you were competing not so much against other parents as against the dominant culture for bandwidth. We live in a society that can be inimical to parents, where kids are constantly exposed to messaging that undermines their best efforts. Asserting your own value structure and trying to help your kid along a constructive path can be a lot of work. Appreciate that you were honest about that fact! However, your emphasis on acceptance to a top school as a proxy for a safe and successful future is misplaced. Also, the difficulties you mentioned navigating were not minor speed bumps, but major red flags. The essence of the critical posts is that people are worried.

I have no idea what culture you are talking about it. Can you point out where this exists? In the DMV? Or any other major city/suburb?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your kid, OP!

And by all means go ahead and be proud.

But…

Denigrating your siblings and their children…or most kids, really…sigh…not nice.

Moreover, let me share some observations as a very successful DC professional in my 50s with a handful of kids and many dozens of relatives spanning from tweens to early 30s:

1. Tons of us landed amazing jobs and have fabulous lives despite going to state schools or no name colleges.

2. I know far too many kids who never did much with their fancy degrees. I think most people are either motivated or not. The fact that you forced your kid to do so much could mean they will fizzle out once you aren’t pushing them.

3. Anyone who struggles with anxiety and/or depression tends to struggle during their college years—especially the first year. I hope you will be nearby and frequently checking in. I know kids who quietly left top schools after the first year because they couldn’t live independently while managing their issues. And that’s okay.

4. Most of the financially successful people I know in their 30s own a business—and some didn’t bother with college. Some started in the trades and opened their own company. These people own the fanciest homes plus vacation homes and quickly became millionaires. It’s not for everyone, but it’s shocking how quickly they amassed wealth as Ivy educated kids are working harder for far less.

Your #4 seems completely made up. Only a very small percentage of people in the trades who own their own companies become millionaires…and that requires building a fairly large company of like 50+ employees (with lots of trucks and other assets which aren’t free).

All of the trade folks who do work on my house own their own companies and they would all laugh that they are raking it in. None encouraged their children to follow in their footsteps…which doesn’t mean not learning a trade, but rather go work for a large company as an electrician, don’t do it on your own.

On the other hand…every day we read about 25 year olds becoming billionaires by starting an AI company or similar tech company. This is DC, and we all know 30-something BigLaw partners that are pulling down big $$$s.

It’s a fact, pp.

I know, I was surprised too.

I know two young men who opted for the trades after high school. After learning the ropes they got union jobs and then built their own business on the side. After only a few years, they were launched and making excellent money.

Because they actually know how to do things themselves, they’ve invested in real estate and either flip or rent properties.

These young men have gorgeous homes, vacation homes, and kids in area privates.

Because I know plenty of people like this intimately, I know they personally net north of $1M each year (after paying out their teams). And the rental income is just gravy.

I know someone who owns multiple properties who told me he can easily pay for his kids’ college, weddings, plus a first home thanks to his real estate holdings alone.

DH and I are white collar professionals in Dcumlandia who have a very nice home and have college covered for our kids, but we missed the boat when compared to our blue collar peers…and the younger generations of men in the trades are on track to outpace given what they’ve learned from their fathers.

BS

Most trades men go out of business because they don’t have an education

My BIL owns HVAC company in Florida 90 percent if his hires never make real money they work hourly with little benefits

I know a HVAC guy in NYC who definitely pulls in $1m+ and so does my friend’s dad who owns a plumbing company. They have a gorgeous home. I do not look down at these people.

DH is a surgeon and we also pull a seven figure HHI.

Not all surgeons make seven figures and not all HVAC guys make seven figures.