Wanted to take a family picture before dinner. Asked my mom to swap spots with one of my kids to get in the middle. Step dad (of 6 years) went irate, walked off, used horrible language. I encouraged him to come back saying we were just getting set up and no pictures were taken yet. He came back then went off on my (smiling and completely unaware of what was happening) teenage son telling him to move out of his Fing way (ps step dad claims to love our kids and our kids have only ever shown anything but love and respect, can’t say the same for him). We won’t be coming back for unless he’s on medication. I’m actually pretty furious, wasn't afraid to let him know it, and can’t wait to leave.

Steak Tips In My Luggage, Yo!

I would add a ChatGPT-generated poem, but our child getting an ecology PhD has shamed us so very effectively on the environmental impact of AI this week that I won’t. But shout out to that poor PP.

Like others, I adore this annual thread. Anyone else remember one of the earlier renditions where a ne’er do well cousin and her boyfriend showed up to the feast with a stolen safe in their car? A poster responded with something like “Let’s crack her open and see what we got!”

We had a nice Thanksgiving with DH’s extended family as usual. My DH is a brilliant man, and generally speaking the opposite of clueless. And yet every year for the 20+ years I’ve been making this massive, complicated meal, he will interrupt my cooking to ask me things like “How many place settings do I need to set out?” My answer is always the same: “The number of people in our family, plus your sister’s family, plus your brother’s family, plus your two parents.” Why?!

It's bedtime, so time for my mega vent:

My DH's brother is a massive narcissist who can't get along with anyone and threw a giant fit after dinner tonight for no reason. My DH is on edge and miserable all day because his brother is so awful. I can't stand him, I never want to spend another holiday with him.

My MIL is a perfectly nice lady but she just spent the last 40 minutes telling me about her bowel movements/constipation. I tried to escape the conversation four times. She found me in the bathroom where I was brushing my teeth to continue it. I am trying to be kind and supportive because she is also upset by her son's horrible behavior but also, I just cannot.

My MIL's dog is here, ancient, and farts CONSTANTLY. The den where we are watching football smells like rotting garbage because the dog is lying on the floor in here, just farting away.

My mom wanted to do a FaceTime with us since we aren't there, but she did the thing I hate where she just passed an iPad around so we could "say hi to everyone." In theory this is nice but in reality it sucks because we wind up having the same shallow conversation 14x plus randomly wind up talking to like my brother's girlfriend's dad who I barely know. Given that I'm having a crappy holiday anyway with my ILs, it just winds up making me feel lonelier instead of more connected to anyone. I would have rather had a 10 minute call just with my mom.

I stupidly went on social media to try and "relax" after a stressful holiday and instead, of course, it's just photos of other people having nicer holidays than I'm having. Now I hate these people too. Why do you have to rub it in?? You can't just enjoy your nice holiday devoid of jerk BILs, stinky dogs, and detailed info about your MIL's large intestine? You have to post a bunch of photos of it so everyone else knows? Be quiet.

I am grateful for my DH, our kid, my job, my wonderful friends, and my reasonably good health this year. But I am not happy and had a crappy holiday.

/rant

This is such a petty vent. We were invited to a family friend's house for Thanksgiving. One of my favorite Thanksgiving foods is stuffing. These people put candied walnuts in their stuffing and I have a nut allergy. I may go buy some Stove Top tomorrow to have with my leftovers.

Anonymous wrote:I am the silent relative who gives a lot of one word answers at my IL's Thanksgiving. I wasn't always, but my BIL is mentally unstable and I learned this, plus taking lots of breaks to be away from people, is the best way to avoid conflict or setting him off. I can tell my silence also angers him but I can't bring myself to fake converse with him while also walking on all the eggshells you have to walk on, while also trying to parent my kids. So I keep to myself, and disengage, disengage, disengage.

Why not just stay home and have a nice Thanksgiving? Walking on eggshells while off from work does not sound fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one family member who is always late. I understand the drive can be long and don't demand anyone show up on Tuesday by a certain time, but I would appreciate a heads-up when they start the 4 hour drive so I know when to be home and how to time dinner. This person can't even be bothered to send a text when they leave. Every year this happens.

Anyway, after showing up late and chaotic and demanding something with protein, it always turns out that they also haven't packed enough for a 3 day visit so I end up doing a load of their laundry in the middle of all my hosting duties bc they don't know how to use my washing machine. And they always ask to borrow a million things that they forget (everything from tweezers to a winter coat this year). I know it's petty but since we don't ask this person to contribute to anything during the visit, it irks me that they can't even handle their personal items or even let me know when they are on the way.

Is this is a younger single sibling?

It's a parent!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most self-absorbed member of my family (there's competition, but I think everyone except this person's parents would agree) announced a pregnancy. The good news is that the parents-to-be are thrilled. The bad news is ::gestures at the egotist::

I can’t follow this…
The egotist announced someone else’s pregnancy and wanted to make it about herself?

The egotist is pregnant. The good news is that they’re happy to be expecting. The bad news is that it’s hard to imagine such a self-absorbed person will make a good parent. -NP

Anonymous wrote:It's only 3 of us and have no family rants, does our dog count? He is a big baby, who won't go out alone because of the plastic Giant bag trapped and billowing in my tree. It's high up and twisted in the branches and terrifying him. He's already confused about us home on a weekday.

It'll be okay, he's gonna get turkey! And for dessert, i bought what looks like whip cream but instead is a bacon flavored pup cup.

Does your dog have a calendar? How does he know it’s a weekday?

Anonymous wrote:We have one family member who is always late. I understand the drive can be long and don't demand anyone show up on Tuesday by a certain time, but I would appreciate a heads-up when they start the 4 hour drive so I know when to be home and how to time dinner. This person can't even be bothered to send a text when they leave. Every year this happens.

Anyway, after showing up late and chaotic and demanding something with protein, it always turns out that they also haven't packed enough for a 3 day visit so I end up doing a load of their laundry in the middle of all my hosting duties bc they don't know how to use my washing machine. And they always ask to borrow a million things that they forget (everything from tweezers to a winter coat this year). I know it's petty but since we don't ask this person to contribute to anything during the visit, it irks me that they can't even handle their personal items or even let me know when they are on the way.

Is this is a younger single sibling?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

Your guests know it’s your house, so?

Two peas in a pod. The other guests must be so uncomfortable with this petty bickering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

Same. We are not in that person's house today, but we hear this all the time when we are.

I'm adding this to my list of things never to say.

My dad used to say "She lives!" when I'd get up at like 9am on a holiday. So grating. I will never understand people who are resentful that someone is getting rest. Unless there are chores to be done and someone has an obligation or commitment to do them early, why do you care?

I think you’re missing your Dad’s dry sense of humor. I’m sure he’s kidding.

No one is confused as to whether or not he's kidding. Jokes get old. 9am is not an unreasonable time to get up on a holiday if you don't have young children.

You need to lighten up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are from a third world country and grew up without any sense of food safety. We are at their house and every single thing I've personally observed them prepping so far has some sort of food safety problem.

At this point I think I am only comfortable eating the things I am cooking myself, and not even the pie I brought, since they took it out of the fridge after I put it in and left it in the warm garage for 24 hours.

I never understand this attitude, particularly since I learned how the government regulates the amount of animal parts and feces that is allowed to be in our food. And I’ve worked in restaurants…it’s just really hard to be precious about food after that.

They’ve given me several bouts of food poisoning over the years. I’m pretty “precious” about not wanting to spend the weekend feeling like my intestines are being wrung out like a dishcloth.

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up very different from me.
You know how you can tell you are at a Thanksgiving with Southern White old money?
Thanksgiving is at someone’s beach house with 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms……and the Dog show is on the big TV and they are drunk and can’t be pulled away from the dog show…

My husband’s brother and wife and boys get to stay with his parents at the beach house. Us? Nope. Husband married a girl from the hood who got 3 degrees from a top 10 school…..but I wasn’t what they approved of….not good enough. It’s sorta better now after 25 years..They warmed up to me after my daughter literally aced the SAT at 13. I guess my genetics weren’t “unfortunate” after all. Sorry. Still pissed about things said to me after marriage.

Vent over. Leaving in 18 hours……I don’t drink. Arrg.

Hmm. Maybe they don't like you because you're a weird combination of self-impressed, insecure, and boring?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

Your guests know it’s your house, so?

Her MIL apparently needs constant reminders. Good for you hostess PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

Your guests know it’s your house, so?

DP but it's not about proving anything to guests.