Anonymous wrote:To follow up on PP's comment of cliques of private school kids who find each other over the summer:

DC (GDS, Sidwell, St. A, Cathedral), NYC (Trinity, Riverdale, Horace Mann, Dalton, Collegiate, Brearley, Spence, Chapin), LA (Harvard Westlake, Brentwood, Marlborough, Crossroads), SF city (Urban, Lick, UHS), SF Bay area (Nueva, College Prep, Head Royce, Menlo, Harker, Castilleja), Chicago (Latin, Parker, North Shore, Lake Forest), Boarding Schools(Lawrenceville, Deerfield, Groton, Choate, Kate, Hotchkiss).

Anonymous wrote:To follow up on PP's comment of cliques of private school kids who find each other over the summer:

DC (GDS, Sidwell, St. A, Cathedral), NYC (Trinity, Riverdale, Horace Mann, Dalton, Collegiate, Brearley, Spence, Chapin), LA (Harvard Westlake, Brentwood, Marlborough, Crossroads), SF city (Urban, Lick, UHS), SF Bay area (Nueva, College Prep, Head Royce, Menlo, Harker, Castilleja), Chicago (Latin, Parker, North Shore, Lake Forest), Boarding Schools(Lawrenceville, Deerfield, Groton, Choate, Kate, Hotchkiss).

Anonymous wrote:To follow up on PP's comment of cliques of private school kids who find each other over the summer:

DC (GDS, Sidwell, St. A, Cathedral), NYC (Trinity, Riverdale, Horace Mann, Dalton, Collegiate, Brearley, Spence, Chapin), LA (Harvard Westlake, Brentwood, Marlborough, Crossroads), SF city (Urban, Lick, UHS), SF Bay area (Nueva, College Prep, Head Royce, Menlo, Harker, Castilleja), Chicago (Latin, Parker, North Shore, Lake Forest), Boarding Schools(Lawrenceville, Deerfield, Groton, Choate, Kate, Hotchkiss).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

At my kid's T10, the freshman social group is private school kids from across the country - agree they find each other over the summer:
UES (5-10 schools), Brooklyn (Packer, SA), Greenwich, DC (Sidwell; GDS), Miami (RE and Gulliver); Chicago (Latin and Parker); LA (HW, Brentwood, Crossroads, etc), Bay Area (i don't know as well but at least 3-4 schools). Also, [b]a smattering of random ski towns (Aspen, Jackson, Idaho).....which I was surprised about.[b]
Boarding school kids kind of have their own crew, too.

The kids from the ski towns are children of alum who moved to those towns after college to be ski bums and never left. There are tons of alum from my SLAC now living in Sun Valley, Jackson, Park City, etc.. The kids get a leg up in admission because they add geographic diversity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

At my kid's T10, the freshman social group is private school kids from across the country - agree they find each other over the summer:
UES (5-10 schools), Brooklyn (Packer, SA), Greenwich, DC (Sidwell; GDS), Miami (RE and Gulliver); Chicago (Latin and Parker); LA (HW, Brentwood, Crossroads, etc), Bay Area (i don't know as well but at least 3-4 schools). Also, [b]a smattering of random ski towns (Aspen, Jackson, Idaho).....which I was surprised about.[b]
Boarding school kids kind of have their own crew, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that stratification happens -and it seems to occur most often through the Greek system. However, I also know personally plenty of UMC and rich kids that end up in friendships and relationships with both scholarship and first gen kids. Not every kid prioritizes social climbing and “being only with their kind” in college. You see what you want to see in this regard… I know of quite a few rich country club families with wonderful, often international, first gen sons and daughters in law …including own my sister….yeesh

Your sister traveling around on a private yacht these days is the exception not the rule. There is stratification and there are also lots of exceptions.

Traveling around on her private yacht with her first gen formerly low income husband* In case that wasn't clear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that stratification happens -and it seems to occur most often through the Greek system. However, I also know personally plenty of UMC and rich kids that end up in friendships and relationships with both scholarship and first gen kids. Not every kid prioritizes social climbing and “being only with their kind” in college. You see what you want to see in this regard… I know of quite a few rich country club families with wonderful, often international, first gen sons and daughters in law …including own my sister….yeesh

Your sister traveling around on a private yacht these days is the exception not the rule. There is stratification and there are also lots of exceptions.

Anonymous wrote:I agree that stratification happens -and it seems to occur most often through the Greek system. However, I also know personally plenty of UMC and rich kids that end up in friendships and relationships with both scholarship and first gen kids. Not every kid prioritizes social climbing and “being only with their kind” in college. You see what you want to see in this regard… I know of quite a few rich country club families with wonderful, often international, first gen sons and daughters in law …including own my sister….yeesh

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing new here. It was true when I was in college 25 years ago. I went to an Ivy and the rich kids formed their own clique, especially the richer they were. There is a whole level of wealth where the kids have completely different relationships to the schools, an example is they pay the room and board as mandatory but have private off campus apartments or live in a full service luxury hotel suite. The jet setters/international cohort were infamous for doing this. The Park/Fifth/Bel Air/Brentwood kids were slightly more grounded but still stuck to each other like glue. I was a normal UMC kid from a day school and even most of my group of friends were similar UMC kids from private or good public schools. Some did get a small amount of financial aid, others were full tuition due to careful parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies have shown that attending an elite college helps low income students move up in the world.

As for actual social groups, it really depends on the college. Colleges that charge different rates for dorms, that permit residential Greek life, and that charge students to attend activities like concerts, indirectly encourage economic stratification.

If you really are interested in attending a college that discourages economic stratification, I would look to Quaker colleges, colleges that have lottery systems by year for housing, and that have "cashless" campuses where events are free for students.

It’s not just low income kids who are helped by an Ivy education. It’s also women of color - black, brown, south Asian…. When my daughter got into HYP, my fancy, wealthy neighbor was so thrilled for her and all of a sudden started being very friendly. I had vaguely known her for years before but she couldn’t get out of my way fast enough. Now she knows my name and stops to chat every single time she sees us. Just a small example of how my kid attending an Ivy gets me much more “respect” or inclusion or whatever it is. It’s like being admitted to the Ivies validate women of color!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

At my kid's T10, the freshman social group is private school kids from across the country - agree they find each other over the summer:
UES (5-10 schools), Brooklyn (Packer, SA), Greenwich, DC (Sidwell; GDS), Miami (RE and Gulliver); Chicago (Latin and Parker); LA (HW, Brentwood, Crossroads, etc), Bay Area (i don't know as well but at least 3-4 schools). Also, a smattering of random ski towns (Aspen, Jackson, Idaho).....which I was surprised about.
Boarding school kids kind of have their own crew, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not overtly, but depending on the school this can happen. At Duke, many of the Greek houses could approximate your wealth/status by asking what high school you attended and your family's neighborhood.

The wealthy Greenwich, Manhattan, Bay Area kids could sniff each other out easily and quickly formed social circles.

This isn't just Duke. It's all private T20. And it's done through Greek houses and just in first-year orientation.

It's how they network over the summer through social media and find each other. All the private school kids - from across the nation - all know each other before they get to campus.

As a private HS parent, I personally thought it was frightening and left little spontaneity. Lots of preconceived notions about people (scrolling social media, who your "commons" are, etc.). Social media has ruined the spontaneity of the first-year experience.

+100% agreed. Similar experience observed with my freshman. Starts early with immediate networking upon acceptance, roommate searches, and summer get-togethers before orientation. Once on campus, they are invited to dinners out, off campus events, ubers, weekend travel, etc. Yes, my kid went to private school but I naively expected greater social integration through clubs and classes, but the access to $ is a barrier. Then there is the added variable of extreme international wealth and cliques. I went to the same school decades ago and had a very different experience. I hear the same from friends with kids at all private and public flagships, maybe to a lesser degree. At public flagships, it becomes apparent when kids move off campus to nicer apartments, join greek and travel for spring break, etc. Yes, these schools all offer a lot of financial aid, but it's hard to form friendships with people when u can't afford to hang out and live together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies have shown that attending an elite college helps low income students move up in the world.

As for actual social groups, it really depends on the college. Colleges that charge different rates for dorms, that permit residential Greek life, and that charge students to attend activities like concerts, indirectly encourage economic stratification.

If you really are interested in attending a college that discourages economic stratification, I would look to Quaker colleges, colleges that have lottery systems by year for housing, and that have "cashless" campuses where events are free for students.

It’s not just low income kids who are helped by an Ivy education. It’s also women of color - black, brown, south Asian…. When my daughter got into HYP, my fancy, wealthy neighbor was so thrilled for her and all of a sudden started being very friendly. I had vaguely known her for years before but she couldn’t get out of my way fast enough. Now she knows my name and stops to chat every single time she sees us. Just a small example of how my kid attending an Ivy gets me much more “respect” or inclusion or whatever it is. It’s like being admitted to the Ivies validate women of color!