Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Lolz. Surely the aunt predicted decades ago that she’d pick a chosen ones, a spouse of the one of her sibling’s kids to single-handedly get everything, and put that placeholder in long ago.

Surely that makes sense over the boiler plate goes to next of kin equally, which is 90% of the market.

Next of kin equally when we're talking about aunts and uncles? Where is this rule written? This isn't a close family, at all. Separated by states and apparently working status. Why OP was counting on her distant aunts' fortunes is anyone's guess. How big are these estates anyway? If they are all rolling in it does this mean that OP stands to inherit a hefty sum from her own parents? Or are we talking about peanuts?

Do you not know anything about next of kin succession? Most Americans don’t have a will, so that’s what is followed in the legal or probate process to close out things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Lolz. Surely the aunt predicted decades ago that she’d pick a chosen ones, a spouse of the one of her sibling’s kids to single-handedly get everything, and put that placeholder in long ago.

Surely that makes sense over the boiler plate goes to next of kin equally, which is 90% of the market.

Next of kin equally when we're talking about aunts and uncles? Where is this rule written? This isn't a close family, at all. Separated by states and apparently working status. Why OP was counting on her distant aunts' fortunes is anyone's guess. How big are these estates anyway? If they are all rolling in it does this mean that OP stands to inherit a hefty sum from her own parents? Or are we talking about peanuts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Of course most people don’t discuss anything with those they deliberately left out of their will. Especially if a small family or not tons of cousins or whatever. It’ll cause a big blowup and loss of trust. Which it will anyhow once it gets out. Secrets secrets secrets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Lolz. Surely the aunt predicted decades ago that she’d pick a chosen ones, a spouse of the one of her sibling’s kids to single-handedly get everything, and put that placeholder in long ago.

Surely that makes sense over the boiler plate goes to next of kin equally, which is 90% of the market.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, ah, how often do you visit these childless aunts, OP? I'm thinking pretty much never?

Op here. No one lives near them. We have a couple kids, bro/SIL have more.

I saw the hometown couple each year 1-5x a year for 25 years and holidays.

As a married adult with kids I saw one set 1-2x a year when in hometown and the other 1-2x a year when in their town during work trips.

My brother never saw the out of town one. He works full time in a senior position with lots of travel.

But his wife did some schmoozing behind the scenes the last 5+ years with each aunt. Most of it not in person, we all live 1000-4000 miles from one another.

What you call schmoozing, the aunts seem to see as having a connection, which you didn't have. Do you eve know when their birthdays are?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.