Anonymous wrote:Try other apps. I’m 45 and get tons of matches. The only huge difference I notice right off the bat is the kid thing. I state I have no kids, do not want them (though at my age I think it’s pretty clear), but am ok if he has them. My age range is 40-55.

I’m 5’7 so my height filter is the same but if I was short I’d lower the height range for matches because why not?

Maybe try new pics? I have a swimsuit pic in Hawaii as my main photo. Men are visual. No obvious filters on face pics, and I’d blur anyone else in the pics just because it’s rude not to IMO. Have photos that let them have an easy opening to a message; I have one with my dog, and another next to a giraffe. A lot of my DM’s start with a reference to my dog or the giraffe

Isn’t a swimsuit photo for hookups ?

OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

Try other apps. I’m 45 and get tons of matches. The only huge difference I notice right off the bat is the kid thing. I state I have no kids, do not want them (though at my age I think it’s pretty clear), but am ok if he has them. My age range is 40-55.

I’m 5’7 so my height filter is the same but if I was short I’d lower the height range for matches because why not?

Maybe try new pics? I have a swimsuit pic in Hawaii as my main photo. Men are visual. No obvious filters on face pics, and I’d blur anyone else in the pics just because it’s rude not to IMO. Have photos that let them have an easy opening to a message; I have one with my dog, and another next to a giraffe. A lot of my DM’s start with a reference to my dog or the giraffe

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not even divorced and she wants kids.

She wants a baby, not a date.

Yeah. Even so, I think it’s a technical issue. There are like 10% of men who are interested in everybody. She could have six kids with six different dads and be a hunchback covered in boils and they would still reach out.

This is true. Men on here even say they don't even read the profiles, they just swipe on everyone. So how is she literally getting none? It's just.. odd.

Anonymous wrote:She’s not even divorced and she wants kids.

She wants a baby, not a date.

Yeah. Even so, I think it’s a technical issue. There are like 10% of men who are interested in everybody. She could have six kids with six different dads and be a hunchback covered in boils and they would still reach out.

Anonymous wrote:A 28yo woman with her stats would get plenty of attention. Wanting kids at age 38 is what’s scaring people off.

I agree.
One of the RNs I work with is online dating. She is overweight and probably obese by BMI, not college educated, and frankly not that nice. But she has a pretty face, and she is 27, and she has more matches than she wants to deal with.

I think it’s a combination of being 38, wanting kids, and still being technically married that’s scaring men off. Even so, I’m surprised that it would scare off ALL men.

She’s not even divorced and she wants kids.

She wants a baby, not a date.

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Anonymous wrote:38 is pretty old in the eyes of most men in the age group she is looking at. She needs to up the age to mid 50s.

Ew. I wish the gross old men would stop trying to troll op.

Right? OP is a million times better off being single than with an old man. Old men = baggage, liabilities, and a reminder that death is imminent. Avoid them.

But beggars can't be choosers, so...

Who's begging? If the options are alone or be with a nasty old saggy ball uneducated misogynistic short loser, maybe it's still better to be alone.

If you're a 38 year old woman and you don't have kids yet and you want to, then yes you are a beggar.

The best men are taken, and many of the available ones will choose someone younger than you.

So yeah you can be alone. Or you can make some compromises. How badly do you want kids?

Again, better to have a kid alone than with an old man, especially if he has "baggage." Being a single mom by choice is infinitely better than being divorced with a bad coparent or married to a liability.

The long track record of kids raised by single moms does not indicate this is infinitely better for the kid but I'm sure it will be different for the OP because reasons.

What evidence do you have that kids are better off raised by an old dad who is a liability to their mom instead of no dad? If she has to become her elderly husband's caretaker while she still has kids at home, then he'd be taking away their mother's resources and time, which is a net negative to any kid.

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Anonymous wrote:38 is pretty old in the eyes of most men in the age group she is looking at. She needs to up the age to mid 50s.

Ew. I wish the gross old men would stop trying to troll op.

Right? OP is a million times better off being single than with an old man. Old men = baggage, liabilities, and a reminder that death is imminent. Avoid them.

But beggars can't be choosers, so...

Who's begging? If the options are alone or be with a nasty old saggy ball uneducated misogynistic short loser, maybe it's still better to be alone.

If you're a 38 year old woman and you don't have kids yet and you want to, then yes you are a beggar.

The best men are taken, and many of the available ones will choose someone younger than you.

So yeah you can be alone. Or you can make some compromises. How badly do you want kids?

Again, better to have a kid alone than with an old man, especially if he has "baggage." Being a single mom by choice is infinitely better than being divorced with a bad coparent or married to a liability.

The long track record of kids raised by single moms does not indicate this is infinitely better for the kid but I'm sure it will be different for the OP because reasons.

A 28yo woman with her stats would get plenty of attention. Wanting kids at age 38 is what’s scaring people off.

Anonymous wrote:Look at all the fatties getting riled up

Why are you pretending to be a woman on the internet? What a weird fetish. No wonder you're single.

Anonymous wrote:Look at all the fatties getting riled up

Wow you're really agitated today? Did your mommy cut you off or something? Get out of her basement and get some sun. It will be good for you.

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Anonymous wrote:38 is pretty old in the eyes of most men in the age group she is looking at. She needs to up the age to mid 50s.

Ew. I wish the gross old men would stop trying to troll op.

Right? OP is a million times better off being single than with an old man. Old men = baggage, liabilities, and a reminder that death is imminent. Avoid them.

But beggars can't be choosers, so...

Who's begging? If the options are alone or be with a nasty old saggy ball uneducated misogynistic short loser, maybe it's still better to be alone.

If you're a 38 year old woman and you don't have kids yet and you want to, then yes you are a beggar.

The best men are taken, and many of the available ones will choose someone younger than you.

So yeah you can be alone. Or you can make some compromises. How badly do you want kids?

Again, better to have a kid alone than with an old man, especially if he has "baggage." Being a single mom by choice is infinitely better than being divorced with a bad coparent or married to a liability.

Look at all the fatties getting riled up

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Anonymous wrote:You are chunky.

She posted a pic a while back which has since been deleted. She is a very curvy 5’0”. Not fat, but not “slim” either.

There are plenty of men who like that look, but they are not the same men who like thin petite women. OP is simply unrealistic about her wants and what she brings to the table as a 38F at her size.

what race? if not white maybe that's one small factor