Anonymous
07/23/2025 16:00
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
. Perhaps to you, but facts are facts. We lived in a VHCOLA, most had been in tech, so yes by early 30s most were making over 6 figures 27 years ago.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets
OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with elementary aged kids, so assuming they went SAH around the time they had their eldest they would have left the workforce in their late 20s. Late 20s is not 35. And congrats on making whatever you did in your late 20s, but you understand that you are one person. Right?
And the groups of sahm Mon friends I hung around with were another 15-20 people who all came from higher paying jobs.
You hung around with 20 stay at home moms who made the equivalent of 500K in their 20s in the 1980s? Do you understand how absurd that sounds?
All were highly educated moms and had great careers they gave up to sahp. Not sure why you find that shocking. When you graduate college and start first jobs, most of your friends (when you are in a new city/area) come from your job. So you are surrounded by similar people. Then you buy a home and in an area with similarly educated/paid people.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 15:26
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets
My wife worked full time for 14 years at a good job with a 401k and pension plan. She gave it up at 36 to be a SAHM. She looks younger than her age. But she now as we become empty nestor does have her own million dollar 401k and a bit of a pension. She was luckier than me got a great job straight out of college. Actually started the week after graduation. And did not job hop. Some Moms by 32-36 had a full career and saved for retirement. Graduate no debt like wife, start a good job right away with a good 401k match, save up money, then get married, buy a house with a big downpayment.
My wifes friend got married at 38 and had two kids at 39 and 42. She retired after second one born. Came back and gave notice. The women was an SVP with 21 years of work and people were like how can you afford to stay home. She was like I am retired, Some women have very big jobs at a very young age. My daughters friend is 24 and makes 140K. I am pretty sure if she got married at 34 she could stay home. By then she would have made two million plus in salary if counting raises.
Women’s highest earning years are between 35-54 with peak earning year being 44. Obviously 21 years in you’re going to be earning a lot more than 6 or 7 years in. It’s apples and oranges; OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with 3 kids, the oldest of whom is in elementary school, not 43 year olds with a preschooler and baby. Your friend wouldn’t be in an elementary pick up line until 44 or 45.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 15:20
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets
OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with elementary aged kids, so assuming they went SAH around the time they had their eldest they would have left the workforce in their late 20s. Late 20s is not 35. And congrats on making whatever you did in your late 20s, but you understand that you are one person. Right?
And the groups of sahm Mon friends I hung around with were another 15-20 people who all came from higher paying jobs.
You hung around with 20 stay at home moms who made the equivalent of 500K in their 20s in the 1980s? Do you understand how absurd that sounds?
Anonymous
07/23/2025 15:15
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is us - mid 30s, make about 1.1m combined and parents gift us $50k a year. We essentially buy a new car ever 5-6 years by selling the car we own and using one of the gifts to fill the gap.
The OP mentioned SAHM. It’s much easier to get close to $1M on two salaries by mid-30s then one salary.
My wife makes 90k. Her income isn’t really critical so it still checks out
Anonymous
07/23/2025 13:07
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets
My wife worked full time for 14 years at a good job with a 401k and pension plan. She gave it up at 36 to be a SAHM. She looks younger than her age. But she now as we become empty nestor does have her own million dollar 401k and a bit of a pension. She was luckier than me got a great job straight out of college. Actually started the week after graduation. And did not job hop. Some Moms by 32-36 had a full career and saved for retirement. Graduate no debt like wife, start a good job right away with a good 401k match, save up money, then get married, buy a house with a big downpayment.
My wifes friend got married at 38 and had two kids at 39 and 42. She retired after second one born. Came back and gave notice. The women was an SVP with 21 years of work and people were like how can you afford to stay home. She was like I am retired, Some women have very big jobs at a very young age. My daughters friend is 24 and makes 140K. I am pretty sure if she got married at 34 she could stay home. By then she would have made two million plus in salary if counting raises.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 12:49
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets
OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with elementary aged kids, so assuming they went SAH around the time they had their eldest they would have left the workforce in their late 20s. Late 20s is not 35. And congrats on making whatever you did in your late 20s, but you understand that you are one person. Right?
And the groups of sahm Mon friends I hung around with were another 15-20 people who all came from higher paying jobs.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 12:48
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lots of debt. Leasing like idiots. 8+ year loans.
The companies they own are leasing these vehicles for them and writing it off.
Plenty are into massive debt. I know people who take 6-7 year loans for a vehicle. Imo if you cannot afford the 3 year loans, you cannot afford that car
Anonymous
07/23/2025 12:37
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets
OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with elementary aged kids, so assuming they went SAH around the time they had their eldest they would have left the workforce in their late 20s. Late 20s is not 35. And congrats on making whatever you did in your late 20s, but you understand that you are one person. Right?
Anonymous
07/23/2025 12:31
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:This is us - mid 30s, make about 1.1m combined and parents gift us $50k a year. We essentially buy a new car ever 5-6 years by selling the car we own and using one of the gifts to fill the gap.
The OP mentioned SAHM. It’s much easier to get close to $1M on two salaries by mid-30s then one salary.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 11:17
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
This is us - mid 30s, make about 1.1m combined and parents gift us $50k a year. We essentially buy a new car ever 5-6 years by selling the car we own and using one of the gifts to fill the gap.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 10:58
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
This is it. I grew up LMC and I used to think everyone living above the means of what their 9-5 job provided was just an idiot in lots of debt, but as I’ve grown up and gotten to know more people around here I came to realize that quite often it’s simply a rich trust fund kid with wealthy parents.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 10:31
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.
We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.
Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.
Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.
I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets
Anonymous
07/23/2025 10:16
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:we make a lot of money. Early 30s is usually the turning point for people in lucrative careers and incomes can easily push 1M + at that point
Agree that late 20s/early 30s can be a turning point, but there are very few single earning 30 year olds making $1M in DC. Maybe two 6 year big law associates who went to law school immediately following college could get to $1M at 30, but there aren’t too many couples that fit into that category. Even fewer who fall into that category and don’t have student loans.
Anonymous
07/23/2025 09:41
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
we make a lot of money. Early 30s is usually the turning point for people in lucrative careers and incomes can easily push 1M + at that point
Anonymous
07/23/2025 09:29
Subject: How do so many young families have $80k SUVs?
Anonymous wrote:Lots of debt. Leasing like idiots. 8+ year loans.
The companies they own are leasing these vehicles for them and writing it off.