Anonymous wrote:I’m a shiksa married to a Jew and I keep the Jewish traditions alive in our family. He doesn’t really care about observing and neither of us believe in god but I think it’s important for our children to know their heritage and the fact that my fil was a Holocaust survivor makes it even more important that they understand it. So I lead the charge in going (occasionally) to shul, lighting Shabbat candles and celebrating holidays. I know dh appreciates it as does his mom (who was herself a convert) but he wouldn’t take it upon himself to do these things.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a shiksa married to a Jew and I keep the Jewish traditions alive in our family. He doesn’t really care about observing and neither of us believe in god but I think it’s important for our children to know their heritage and the fact that my fil was a Holocaust survivor makes it even more important that they understand it. So I lead the charge in going (occasionally) to shul, lighting Shabbat candles and celebrating holidays. I know dh appreciates it as does his mom (who was herself a convert) but he wouldn’t take it upon himself to do these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

I actually felt completely accepted by my husband’s mother from day 1. I am Jewish and they are not, if it makes a difference.

Then you are lucky.

When did you start dating? I think it’s better in the last 10 or 20 years than it was before.

Is your MIL American? White? Religious? That matters, too.

We began dating 20 years ago. She is a white American, raised Catholic but no longer practicing.

Anonymous wrote:Its a good love story of modern era without a typical happily forever.

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Anonymous wrote:I had a huge crush on a Jewish guy I dated in my twenties. He shared with me early on that his grandmother made him promise on her deathbed that he would marry a Jewishwoman.

I felt that was an unfair pressure/guilt trip to instill in her young grandson.

Six million Jews. It's very common to remind children to marry jewish. We're still trying to recover from the Holocaust in terms of numbers.

All my Jewish or Israeli friends were made to break up with their college non Jewish GFs or BFs. Their dad usually played the bad cop (holocaust!!) and the mom played the good cop (love is love!).

I think their girlfriends dodged a bullet. Who wants to marry a man who doesn't have his own mind?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are a few episodes in and have really been enjoying it! I wasn't sure at first about the chemistry between Adam and Kristen but I actually really like them together.

Didn’t NYTimes just rail this as being anti Jewish women? All stereotype women in the series 1?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

I actually felt completely accepted by my husband’s mother from day 1. I am Jewish and they are not, if it makes a difference.

Then you are lucky.

When did you start dating? I think it’s better in the last 10 or 20 years than it was before.

Is your MIL American? White? Religious? That matters, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The reality is this show could have been made with any religious or cultural or racial groups.

I observed the following IRL:

-Chinese friend’s entire family didn’t attend her wedding because they were outraged that she was marrying a non-Chinese man. Same religion, same advanced level of education, and the guy is awesome on all levels. Didn’t matter. Pretty sure we’ve seen movies about how this plays out in Asian culture, right?

-A white friend’s family threatened to cut her off when she got engaged to a black man. His family wasn’t any better: his family was blatantly hostile to her the first time he brought her to a family party. She wasn’t deterred despite leaving in tears. She kept showing up and being kind, and they eventually came around. Ditto for her family.

-A Muslim friend’s family did cut her off (stopped paying her tuition) when she got engaged to a catholic white American. She was American too btw—despite her American-born parents considering themselves as “Insert other Muslim country here.” That marriage was a disaster thanks to the unwillingness of her family to accept him. She caved eventually and her parents rewarded her with a new life in another city: fancy new place, new wardrobe, new car, etc.

I could go on, but I’ll stop here. As a shiksa whose future MIL enlisted the help of relatives to try to dissuade us from marrying (I won’t say how, but it was heavily orchestrated and blatant), I chalk it up to loss of control and fear of the unknown that some rigid older women have. It’s a thing, which is why the evil MIL stereotypes exist in every culture, etc.

Wow. I gently offer to you another explanation: since her son has married someone non-Jewish she literally will not have Jewish grandchildren. I’m not saying that it’s right to put pressure on your kids; it certainly isn’t. But it’s not very mysterious why she felt this way. It’s actually a huge, huge cultural loss. Hopefully realizing that can lead you towards some compassion.

If folks feel this way, then why raise your kids in the U.S.? Move to Israel, India, Saudi Arabia, Kenya, China, or wherever if having ethnically pure “[insert] grandchildren” is so important to you.

That’s the trade off you make when you come to America to live the good life. Don’t emotionally traumatize your otherwise lovely and competent adult kids/grandkids about it.

It’s not about ethnically pure kids at all. It’s about fearing total disappearance of a community and thousands of years of traditions and culture. That actually is traumatizing especially given the Holocaust because that fear came so close to reality. I converted partly because I understood the importance of that. I don’t think it’s the same at all as a culture with many people to keep it going. I am from such a culture myself and my parents were not fearful of any loss.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are a few episodes in and have really been enjoying it! I wasn't sure at first about the chemistry between Adam and Kristen but I actually really like them together.

Didn’t NYTimes just rail this as being anti Jewish women? All stereotype women in the series 1?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a huge crush on a Jewish guy I dated in my twenties. He shared with me early on that his grandmother made him promise on her deathbed that he would marry a Jewishwoman.

I felt that was an unfair pressure/guilt trip to instill in her young grandson.

Six million Jews. It's very common to remind children to marry jewish. We're still trying to recover from the Holocaust in terms of numbers.

All my Jewish or Israeli friends were made to break up with their college non Jewish GFs or BFs. Their dad usually played the bad cop (holocaust!!) and the mom played the good cop (love is love!).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

Shiksa is a hateful word thrown around too casually. I am Jewish now but was not when I met dh. I was always accepted and conversion never came up once with my ils. We never had a religious wedding and nobody cared. Honestly it was more about how our kids would be raised than about me at all! And with Kristen Bell being 40+ the issue of kids would have mattered more than her being Jewish or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a huge crush on a Jewish guy I dated in my twenties. He shared with me early on that his grandmother made him promise on her deathbed that he would marry a Jewishwoman.

I felt that was an unfair pressure/guilt trip to instill in her young grandson.

Six million Jews. It's very common to remind children to marry jewish. We're still trying to recover from the Holocaust in terms of numbers.