Anonymous wrote:

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?


Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

You must be young. Many of can recall a time when you didn’t have individual screens. I travelled a lot 20-30 years ago and believe it or not it was common to talk to the people you sat next to- even if you didn’t know them.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This was not a troll post. But I fully anticipated being flamed. What else to expect from a bunch of screen-addicted parents with screen-addicted kids?

Literally, these kids are being raised to not develop the capability of amusing themselves. Same for parents - they need to scroll mindlessly to “relax”. It’s like the person who needs a bottle of wine a day to “relax” from work. It’s kind of pathetic but whatever, it’s their lives. I don’t judge so much as pity the addiction…

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?


Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was on a 4 hour flight recently. A family with 3 kids decided that they will give the kids iPad for only two hours. The oldest two read for the first two hours. However, the youngest one hit my seat more times that I can count, didn’t stop talking and asking for the iPad. Once she gave him the iPad he was quit. The mom is probably proud that they didn’t watch iPad the whole time. But the child was bothering their fellow passengers for two hours straight.

This thread is interesting because people are talking about several different metrics for what is considered good parenting on a plane.

A lot of people are basing their assessment on the degree to which a parent minimizes annoyance of their kids to other passengers. By this metric giving your child an iPad and headphones for the duration of the flight is great parenting if it keeps the child silent and still for the flight. Because the parenting is judged by how much the child impacts others sitting nearby.

Others including OP are basing their assessment based on a broader evaluation of what is best for the child. Unsurprisingly there is NO agreement in this group because no one agrees on what kids need. Do they need to be interact with and be entertained by their parents? A chance to move around? Or do they need a break and a chance to relax with a screen? No one has mentioned this but I have a kid who is a nervous flyer sometimes. We will sometimes use screens to help her relax so she doesn't freak out during takeoff or turbulence. I used to have some fear of flying and I know there is no distraction quite as good as a good movie or funny tv show to get me through my nerves. OP may never have dealt with a kid who gets scared of flying though.

And then there are people who are focused on the parents comfort and happiness. Which does matter! Yes there are sitautions where a parent is simply exhausted and needs a break and screens can provide that. This is true no matter what though. All parents know that you can use a screen as a limited babysitter when you just need some time to yourself and for your kids to stop pestering you for a while. We also know that if we use this too much it can be more trouble than it's worth because screen-addicted kids are their own kind of nightmare (we had to screen diet our kid after the initial months of Covid shut down because we definitely over-relied on screens to give ourselves a break when we were dealing with loss of childcare and work from home).

Anyway I think the reason a lot of people are talking past each other on this thread is because people are discussing totally different things. Here's my two cents for what it is worth:

I think just planting your kids in front of screens for the duration of a flight is probably not ideal for the kids -- I do think as a parent it's useful for kids to learn to entertain themselves in situations like flights and long car rides and other situations without looking at a screen. So my strategy is generally to bring screens but also not just hand them out instantly -- see how it goes and use them as an option and not an automatic. But also there maybe certain trips where you are just wiped and it's like "yes here is an iPad please leave me alone until we land." But if I did that all the time I know that's not great parenting.

In terms of impacting other people: kicking or climbing on seats is an absolute no and gets shut down immediately (regardless of screens -- kids will kick seats while watching a screen so it doesn't solve it). Talking or playing games is fine. It's not a library. I agree on short flights that getting up constantly with kids is annoying -- have them use the bathroom before the flight and limit liquids even if only for your own sake. On long international flights I don't mind people getting up and moving around some but I think if you are a family you should try to book seats in a way that will minimize having to force other people to get up so your 4 year old can go to the bathroom multiple times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I don’t know what time of time she spends with her kids but anyone who spends a lot of time with one another doesn’t need to talk on the plane. It is more people who don’t see one another much would be the ones who want to spend all this quality time together on the plane.

My neighbor is a SAhM to 4 kids. She spends all day everyday with the kids. She is just trying to survive the flight.

I talk to my spouse and kids at home but uh we also talk on planes. Not like nonstop or anything but we'll have a conversation.

I don't get the whole "I'm just trying to survive the flight" thing either. Flying is not that difficult. Sure there are times when it's a huge hassle -- if you are on a flight that got delayed or you wind up with some huge annoyance like getting stuck on the tarmac for an hour before take off or horrible turbulence. But most flights are just... fine. I'm not in crisis and reaching for iPads to shut up kids because otherwise I just won't make it. And that includes on international flights. Kids will watch devices some (on an international flight usually at least one movie and if a very long flight of 10+ at least two). But also we will talk and play games and read.

Travel is not some horrible hardship. And if traveling with kids is so difficult that you simply must placate them with devices the whole time then maybe don't travel so much. It's optional.

Oh, I'll let my friend who just flew her kids down to FL because her mother died unexpectedly that that trip was optional.

That sounds like a pretty specific example of something ridiculous. But, you know that probably and are just feeling heated because you are a terrible traveler.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids could sit quietly since they were 6-months old without me packing anything or giving them ipad. Nothing to do with parenting. The 6-month old was so happy to smile and stare at everyone until he fell asleep at hour two on a 8-hour flight.
They are both very aware of people around them and don't make a sound. I was that kid also.
Now when I fly with my kid, I get the window seat, he gets the next one and I don't have to sit next to a stranger. He can sit still much better than I can and not disturb the seatmate. I think he watched movies because it was cross-Atlantic.
And what do you mean flying is for talking? Shut up.
Those parents may have saved ipad time for such occasion.

Really weird that you are using your child as a shield from strangers.

Anonymous wrote:My kids could sit quietly since they were 6-months old without me packing anything or giving them ipad. Nothing to do with parenting. The 6-month old was so happy to smile and stare at everyone until he fell asleep at hour two on a 8-hour flight.
They are both very aware of people around them and don't make a sound. I was that kid also.
Now when I fly with my kid, I get the window seat, he gets the next one and I don't have to sit next to a stranger. He can sit still much better than I can and not disturb the seatmate. I think he watched movies because it was cross-Atlantic.
And what do you mean flying is for talking? Shut up.
Those parents may have saved ipad time for such occasion.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This was not a troll post. But I fully anticipated being flamed. What else to expect from a bunch of screen-addicted parents with screen-addicted kids?

Literally, these kids are being raised to not develop the capability of amusing themselves. Same for parents - they need to scroll mindlessly to “relax”. It’s like the person who needs a bottle of wine a day to “relax” from work. It’s kind of pathetic but whatever, it’s their lives. I don’t judge so much as pity the addiction…

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This was not a troll post. But I fully anticipated being flamed. What else to expect from a bunch of screen-addicted parents with screen-addicted kids?

Literally, these kids are being raised to not develop the capability of amusing themselves. Same for parents - they need to scroll mindlessly to “relax”. It’s like the person who needs a bottle of wine a day to “relax” from work. It’s kind of pathetic but whatever, it’s their lives. I don’t judge so much as pity the addiction…

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This was not a troll post. But I fully anticipated being flamed. What else to expect from a bunch of screen-addicted parents with screen-addicted kids?

Literally, these kids are being raised to not develop the capability of amusing themselves. Same for parents - they need to scroll mindlessly to “relax”. It’s like the person who needs a bottle of wine a day to “relax” from work. It’s kind of pathetic but whatever, it’s their lives. I don’t judge so much as pity the addiction…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

dp Sorry but, fly in your private jet if you want absolute quiet.

DP no one is asking for absolute quiet. Tell the flight attendant what you want to drink, softly talk your spouse as needed. But CHATTING is so rude. It’s like talking on your phone in an elevator for hours. Or talking in church. No one can get away from you. Shush already like a civilized human.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This was not a troll post. But I fully anticipated being flamed. What else to expect from a bunch of screen-addicted parents with screen-addicted kids?

Literally, these kids are being raised to not develop the capability of amusing themselves. Same for parents - they need to scroll mindlessly to “relax”. It’s like the person who needs a bottle of wine a day to “relax” from work. It’s kind of pathetic but whatever, it’s their lives. I don’t judge so much as pity the addiction…