Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

I'm not the OP. My kid also goes to an ivy.

So, there's an extraordinary amount of wealth - but its silent (fancy cars - even for freshman), flying privately into the nearby airport for parents' weekend, golden gooses, Moncler coats, and definitely a "how do you know xyz" culture. My kid went to a private HS and used to this - but we are not flashy and there are LOTS of flashy (not understated) indicators of wealth. Greek life is also bifurcated somewhat by different groups of people (city prep schools vs. suburban publics vs. international big $$$ etc.) So, yes there's a lot of "mixing" of people, but not as much as people would imagine or think.

I don't claim to know precisely how segregated or not it is class-wise, given I'm not attending. But I might ask more questions and then get back to you, as this is interesting to think about.

I can say I'm pretty sure my kid doesn't know anyone who has to work on or off campus during the school year (e.g., no one has PT jobs unless remote internships for networking purposes counts). And most kids do have cars (and nice ones) and are able to fly home (commercially) for fall break.

How do they not know anyone who has a job on campus? Over 50% of ivy kids are on work study as a part of financial aid. It is common to know others who work! Full pay kids also often have paying jobs in labs or as learning assistants (undergrads who help the profs and grad TAs) at ivies, but loads of DC’s friends have work study jobs in the library, in labs, in the rec center.

Maybe the kids who work hang out at different times and do different things?
It would be normal to see some bifurcation by the kids who have to have work-study jobs and those that don't - simply based on free time. The ones that don't have those jobs might do different things socially during that time (more leisure, EC or what have you). Maybe the kids with work-study jobs are friends with each other?

Anonymous wrote:it's weird and naive to think all the kids are just hanging out together.

there has always been a super strata of rich kids who dont mix with others. your kids - kids of law firm partners - are not in that group. sorry.

ouch

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

#1 My Groton friend at university introduced me to my husband, enabling me to leapfrog several class levels.

it's weird and naive to think all the kids are just hanging out together.

there has always been a super strata of rich kids who dont mix with others. your kids - kids of law firm partners - are not in that group. sorry.

It weird how many parents know how wealthy their kid's friends are in college.

I don't know how wealthy my kid's friends are in high school and I've known some of them since kindergarten.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.[/quote]

100% false. I have a full pay kid at Duke. They’re friends with kids who are fgli and lots of kids on financial aid, and some insanely uber-wealthy people(most of those try to hide it, to be fair). [/quote]

But are the fgli/FA kids friends with the wealthy students?[/quote]

Why would the wealthy kids and FGLI kdis be friends? Friendships are usually based on shared experiences. These two groups of kids have nothing in common! [/quote]

We have two students at Duke. They each have friends who are on financial aid and friends who are full pay, a subset of whom are very rich but do not discuss it(just known because of who the family is). The majority of students interact across socioeconomic lines. They did when I went there and my spouse went to an ivy and reports the same. Our kids have high school friends at ivies, uchicago, and they mix with many different people. It is far more diverse than it used to be, and less greek has also led to more mixing [/quote]

Now that I think about it, the greek system might have been a driving factor in SES segregation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

+1 I have a kid there now. His friends are a wide range of backgrounds. I do tell him to offer to pay gas and get meal of friend with car that drives to club games—and the kids that don’t have funds outside of meal plan. There are kids from really tiny towns to big city and every nationality in his group.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

I'm not the OP. My kid also goes to an ivy.

So, there's an extraordinary amount of wealth - but its silent (fancy cars - even for freshman), flying privately into the nearby airport for parents' weekend, golden gooses, Moncler coats, and definitely a "how do you know xyz" culture. My kid went to a private HS and used to this - but we are not flashy and there are LOTS of flashy (not understated) indicators of wealth. Greek life is also bifurcated somewhat by different groups of people (city prep schools vs. suburban publics vs. international big $$$ etc.) So, yes there's a lot of "mixing" of people, but not as much as people would imagine or think.

I don't claim to know precisely how segregated or not it is class-wise, given I'm not attending. But I might ask more questions and then get back to you, as this is interesting to think about.

I can say I'm pretty sure my kid doesn't know anyone who has to work on or off campus during the school year (e.g., no one has PT jobs unless remote internships for networking purposes counts). And most kids do have cars (and nice ones) and are able to fly home (commercially) for fall break.

How do they not know anyone who has a job on campus? Over 50% of ivy kids are on work study as a part of financial aid. It is common to know others who work! Full pay kids also often have paying jobs in labs or as learning assistants (undergrads who help the profs and grad TAs) at ivies, but loads of DC’s friends have work study jobs in the library, in labs, in the rec center.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

X1000 this whole thread is filled with stereotypes that do not represent current ivy/elite schools

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

I'm not the OP. My kid also goes to an ivy.

So, there's an extraordinary amount of wealth - but its silent (fancy cars - even for freshman), flying privately into the nearby airport for parents' weekend, golden gooses, Moncler coats, and definitely a "how do you know xyz" culture. My kid went to a private HS and used to this - but we are not flashy and there are LOTS of flashy (not understated) indicators of wealth. Greek life is also bifurcated somewhat by different groups of people (city prep schools vs. suburban publics vs. international big $$$ etc.) So, yes there's a lot of "mixing" of people, but not as much as people would imagine or think.

I don't claim to know precisely how segregated or not it is class-wise, given I'm not attending. But I might ask more questions and then get back to you, as this is interesting to think about.

I can say I'm pretty sure my kid doesn't know anyone who has to work on or off campus during the school year (e.g., no one has PT jobs unless remote internships for networking purposes counts). And most kids do have cars (and nice ones) and are able to fly home (commercially) for fall break.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.[/quote]

100% false. I have a full pay kid at Duke. They’re friends with kids who are fgli and lots of kids on financial aid, and some insanely uber-wealthy people(most of those try to hide it, to be fair). [/quote] But are the fgli/FA kids friends with the wealthy students?[/quote]

Why would the wealthy kids and FGLI kdis be friends? Friendships are usually based on shared experiences. These two groups of kids have nothing in common! [/quote]

We have two students at Duke. They each have friends who are on financial aid and friends who are full pay, a subset of whom are very rich but do not discuss it(just known because of who the family is). The majority of students interact across socioeconomic lines. They did when I went there and my spouse went to an ivy and reports the same. Our kids have high school friends at ivies, uchicago, and they mix with many different people. It is far more diverse than it used to be, and less greek has also led to more mixing

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wealth on this graph at Brown doesn't surprise me. My family friend's son is at Brown. Lots of uber wealthy kids and many kids or nieces/nephews of celebrities. The rich/adjacent celebrity kids not surprisingly hang out together and form cliques based on where they holiday and live or have their second homes.

Yes read earlier in this thread…..rich ppl hang out with each other. It’s easier that way.


——

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

——

Neither of my different-ivy kids were asked “where do you summer”. And they are full pay white kids. No one asks things like this unless you have zero self-awareness and reflection skills. They are not athletes and their conversations revolve around what courses are you taking and who do you read in your free time(authors,newspapers etc), what level of math did you complete in high school and what professors do you have for fall

+1 everyone is very 'normal'. I think the Ivies don't attract the really 'flashy' wealth anyways. The kids very much downplay it if they have it and you wouldn't know by how 'normal' they act and appear. Maybe it's an 'old $' thing.

Agree, mine is white and full pay at a top ivy and there are people who are rich but there also are a lot on financial aid. All the same friend group. It is very rare people brag about their wealth but there are a few. Most try to plan activities the whole group can afford, and are conscious about it. Non are legacies or recruited athletes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wealth on this graph at Brown doesn't surprise me. My family friend's son is at Brown. Lots of uber wealthy kids and many kids or nieces/nephews of celebrities. The rich/adjacent celebrity kids not surprisingly hang out together and form cliques based on where they holiday and live or have their second homes.

Yes read earlier in this thread…..rich ppl hang out with each other. It’s easier that way.


——

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

——

Neither of my different-ivy kids were asked “where do you summer”. And they are full pay white kids. No one asks things like this unless you have zero self-awareness and reflection skills. They are not athletes and their conversations revolve around what courses are you taking and who do you read in your free time(authors,newspapers etc), what level of math did you complete in high school and what professors do you have for fall

+1 everyone is very 'normal'. I think the Ivies don't attract the really 'flashy' wealth anyways. The kids very much downplay it if they have it and you wouldn't know by how 'normal' they act and appear. Maybe it's an 'old $' thing.

JFK Jr really sought the kid that did not come from wealth. He loved hanging out with him. He didn't like the hangers-ons. He wanted authenticity. The kid had capital because he could surf really well (on a school trip to the RI beaches) and was a bit of a daredevil. JFK Jr wanted to be cool like him. IT was a really interesting read from the kid's point of view. He also talks about going back for Xmas to Jackie O''s NYC apartment with John. Nothing fazed John and didn't care about the wealth thing---more 'the people'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wealth on this graph at Brown doesn't surprise me. My family friend's son is at Brown. Lots of uber wealthy kids and many kids or nieces/nephews of celebrities. The rich/adjacent celebrity kids not surprisingly hang out together and form cliques based on where they holiday and live or have their second homes.

Yes read earlier in this thread…..rich ppl hang out with each other. It’s easier that way.


——

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

——

Neither of my different-ivy kids were asked “where do you summer”. And they are full pay white kids. No one asks things like this unless you have zero self-awareness and reflection skills. They are not athletes and their conversations revolve around what courses are you taking and who do you read in your free time(authors,newspapers etc), what level of math did you complete in high school and what professors do you have for fall

+1 everyone is very 'normal'. I think the Ivies don't attract the really 'flashy' wealth anyways. The kids very much downplay it if they have it and you wouldn't know by how 'normal' they act and appear. Maybe it's an 'old $' thing.