Anonymous wrote:My DH got a gift card to target and then proceeded to later tell my brother what a bad mood I was in that morning (I was crying, which was only partly due to his crappy gift but mostly due to grief while I watch my mom go through end stages of a progressive disease). Plus, when I told DH that I was not happy about a target gift card, he turned it on me and blamed me for being hard to buy for- no sympathy or awareness that he could have put an ounce of thought into it. I’m not even a super fan of target- it’s just a fine store.

I am really sorry about your mom <3

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my husband explicitly what I wanted several weeks ago. We also discussed our Father’s Day plans in the same discussion.

I would love for him to intuit that I need to sleep in, want breakfast from this particular bakery, and want it delivered to me in bed before we go to see my sister and her children, then he takes off with our kids to see his mother while I relax with my sister. But it’s really unlikely that he’ll do so and frankly I’m in my 30s and don’t need to settle for some kind of half-assery, so my make my wishes known up front.

Why? Why on earth would you expect that he would know the exact thing you want to do for Mother's Day? Do you know exactly what he wants to do for Father's Day? Why wouldn't you be willing to be clear about what you want rather than expecting someone to read your mind and then be upset when they do it wrong? It's like you people are setting your husbands up to fail a test or something.

I know exactly what my husband wants for Father’s Day: Golf with our teen sons, grilling outside, and a bj later that night.
I can also tell you what every woman wants for Mother’s Day: something cute from the kids, a meal that she doesn’t have to prepare, a card with something nice written in it, and some time alone to relax.

None of this is hard.

I can also tell you that my husband does NOT want me to come to him the Saturday before Father’s Day and ask him to plan the day out.

+1. Haha this is spot on for what DH and I both want on mothers/Father’s Day.

I don’t see why people wouldn’t take advantage of a day to appreciate their spouse. And, presumably, people who have been together long enough to have kids have some idea of what each other find enjoyable or relaxing. Right…?

My DH got a gift card to target and then proceeded to later tell my brother what a bad mood I was in that morning (I was crying, which was only partly due to his crappy gift but mostly due to grief while I watch my mom go through end stages of a progressive disease). Plus, when I told DH that I was not happy about a target gift card, he turned it on me and blamed me for being hard to buy for- no sympathy or awareness that he could have put an ounce of thought into it. I’m not even a super fan of target- it’s just a fine store.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my husband explicitly what I wanted several weeks ago. We also discussed our Father’s Day plans in the same discussion.

I would love for him to intuit that I need to sleep in, want breakfast from this particular bakery, and want it delivered to me in bed before we go to see my sister and her children, then he takes off with our kids to see his mother while I relax with my sister. But it’s really unlikely that he’ll do so and frankly I’m in my 30s and don’t need to settle for some kind of half-assery, so my make my wishes known up front.

Why? Why on earth would you expect that he would know the exact thing you want to do for Mother's Day? Do you know exactly what he wants to do for Father's Day? Why wouldn't you be willing to be clear about what you want rather than expecting someone to read your mind and then be upset when they do it wrong? It's like you people are setting your husbands up to fail a test or something.

I know exactly what my husband wants for Father’s Day: Golf with our teen sons, grilling outside, and a bj later that night.
I can also tell you what every woman wants for Mother’s Day: something cute from the kids, a meal that she doesn’t have to prepare, a card with something nice written in it, and some time alone to relax.

None of this is hard.

I can also tell you that my husband does NOT want me to come to him the Saturday before Father’s Day and ask him to plan the day out.

So the bj is by whom?

Me.

My DH came into the room in the morning (he wakes up much earlier) and said, "Oh, it's Mother's Day." That was the extent of it.

I know to expect this, but it's still mildly annoying. And I miss my mom, this is the 13th Mother's Day without her.

I agree that if you want something, you plan it yourself, or give specific directions, and I've done that in some years, but this year I just didn't feel like it. I planned an outing with another mom, and that was nice, but I do wish my family wanted to do something special for me.

I do miss the days when the kids were in day care and always brought cute crafts home for Mother's Day. Very grateful to those teachers!

Also hope that when the kids grow up, they'll take a moment to call/acknowledge me in some way.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know how to tell my DH that I would rather we just ignore the holiday completely instead of having him half-ass something when he would clearly rather be scrolling his phone. It makes me feel way less loved than normal and then I wonder if I’m just normally delusional.

You, of course, do not even own a phone, and if you did, would never dream of using it in his presence.

I don’t know how to tell my DH that I would rather we just ignore the holiday completely instead of having him half-ass something when he would clearly rather be scrolling his phone. It makes me feel way less loved than normal and then I wonder if I’m just normally delusional.

I just really want to know why so many women expect their husband's to do something for them for Mother's Day, and then also flip out when same husband's want to do something for their own Mothers.

Hmm. I thought mine was ok. My son gave me a card and some candy our family had dinner at a restaurant I had picked out a while ago. My husband was a little on the complaining side when his entrée (a weird choice) wasn't exactly the way he hoped, but overall, that is minor and it was a good day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Guys - if you are married to someone who cares about Mother's Day, then do something that will make them happy and feel appreciated. If you are married to someone who's cool sending themselves flowers, then keep not doing anything. It's pretty easy.

Except the hard part is figuring out if she really doesn't care about Mother's Day or is just pretending not to care in order to test you, and if you take her words at face value then she'll be seething and will punish you for it. (See also: Valentine's Day)

Maybe one year. But by year two you should know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Guys - if you are married to someone who cares about Mother's Day, then do something that will make them happy and feel appreciated. If you are married to someone who's cool sending themselves flowers, then keep not doing anything. It's pretty easy.

Except the hard part is figuring out if she really doesn't care about Mother's Day or is just pretending not to care in order to test you, and if you take her words at face value then she'll be seething and will punish you for it. (See also: Valentine's Day)

DP. Nobody is going to be mad about some flowers and a handmade card or craft from their kids (facilitated by dad depending on age of kids), so why do nothing?

Anonymous wrote:This will be my first mother's day posy divorce. Should I expect something from my ex? I have the kids tomorrow. I am currently dating and he is single still. I just hope he helped the kids plan something for me.

lol no once the divorce was final his obligation to deal with that bs ended.

Anonymous wrote:
Guys - if you are married to someone who cares about Mother's Day, then do something that will make them happy and feel appreciated. If you are married to someone who's cool sending themselves flowers, then keep not doing anything. It's pretty easy.

Except the hard part is figuring out if she really doesn't care about Mother's Day or is just pretending not to care in order to test you, and if you take her words at face value then she'll be seething and will punish you for it. (See also: Valentine's Day)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My complaint is that I have a mother figure who is probably expecting something. Every year it’s agony because she doesn’t live close by, she has her own family (who are hopefully taking her out so lunch is not an option), I’ve never sent anyone flowers so I don’t know how to do this and trying to make myself research it is too much. I’ve sent her a card on Thursday. I hope it gets there on time.

Holidays are my curse because I don’t like them, I only remotely like new years but that’s it.

How did you make it to adulthood? You can order flowers in 10 minutes online.

+1 Researching how to send flowers is crazy. Google "flower delivery", open website, pick flowers, enter information, and click "submit".

Progressive women are the worst. Complain about everything.