Anonymous wrote:I am paying for 100% of undergrad. I funded their 529 plans as if they were going to my alma mater which is at the high end. I'm not paying for grad school but if they have money left over, they can use it. DH’s employer paid for his MBA and I paid off my law school loans in 2 years. Going to graduate school is an adult decision and part of the equation is whether it's worth the time and monetary cost. I also want to enjoy my retirement. I just can't imagine working into my 70s to pay for one of my kids to get a master's in history, for example.

If your kid has to pay for a PhD you already know that is flushing $$$s down the toilet.

I am paying for 100% of undergrad. I funded their 529 plans as if they were going to my alma mater which is at the high end. I'm not paying for grad school but if they have money left over, they can use it. DH’s employer paid for his MBA and I paid off my law school loans in 2 years. Going to graduate school is an adult decision and part of the equation is whether it's worth the time and monetary cost. I also want to enjoy my retirement. I just can't imagine working into my 70s to pay for one of my kids to get a master's in history, for example.

We are paying mostly full pay for 3 kids in college (top 20 schools). It is incredibly stressful and we have barely taken any vacation in the last 4-5 years. Kids will still have a small amount of loans but we are hoping we can pay them off for them.
But that is all we can manage. If they want to do grad school, they will have to figure it out. If we are able to help we will but no guarantees. Some of our friends though paid for K-12 top dollar private schools, then full pay for college and are now paying full for grad school (med school or law school, etc). While also taking multiple incredible family vacations every year. I’m amazed how much disposable money many people have. That is serious money. Our kids went to public school k-12. We didn’t inherit any family money as parents were low income and I know some friends who have a trust fund so that might be the difference for some of them

Anonymous wrote:I just think...do what you can to help your kids. The cost of college is staggering. If you think it's hard now, imagine paying for it on an entry level salary.

I always wonder why we turn our anger over this on one another instead of towards colleges. They should manage money better. Why we all just willingly hand over piles of money...at some point, there will be a revolt

This. It is ridiculous to see colleges pouring money into all kinds of bells and whistles. And hiring more and more useless administrators. Colleges don’t need to be so fancy. They need to start focusing on holding tuition and housing costs down

I just think...do what you can to help your kids. The cost of college is staggering. If you think it's hard now, imagine paying for it on an entry level salary.

I always wonder why we turn our anger over this on one another instead of towards colleges. They should manage money better. Why we all just willingly hand over piles of money...at some point, there will be a revolt

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

DP. +1. And I see this touched a nerve. But, it is true. Paying for your kid's college gives them a huge leg up in life. Having your education funded doesn't mean you'll have less grit and determination - it means you can come out of school ready to conquer the world, free of the noose of debt around your neck. Less debt can mean more income to do things that can contribute to your success - like...living in a nicer place. Driving a nicer car. Joining a club and networking there. And on and on. Do not fool yourself. Those who fully fund their children's education are giving them a tremendous advantage.

I am paying for my kids education because I can…but I don’t think it gives them any real advantages on its own. Nobody cares what car you drive as a 21 year old…and honestly, if your kid is actually getting a decent first job they are likely in a metro where you wouldn’t even have a car. I also am not aware of any “clubs” to which you refer…curious as an example.

Being wealthy and connected will give your kids advantages…but let’s say you are just a mid level govt employee or worker bee that inherited $500k and can pay for college…just paying for college doesn’t much confer many advantages.

I think you are conflating wealth and connections (which always help) with the act of paying for college.

The noose of loans may strangle some…but it also drives others to rip your kid’s head off…so I tell my kid to stay sharp.

Girrrrl, you are really not thinking. Both my DH and I graduated without debt thanks to our parents. We met in college and lived together our 4th year. We bought our first home in Vienna Woods when we were 23 years old. We purchased our 2nd home at age 28. Not having debt, which allowed us to buy a home, has had a significant impact on our lives now that we are 46. We still own that same home as a rental. It brings us 42K/yr in rent and is valued at 1M and we have no mortgage on it.

We bought our first house at 25 when DH finished law school (with loans) and I had undergrad loans. 5 years later we upgraded homes and the first one as a rental. We also have a high income and high net worth (and still have the loans because the interest is so cheap.)

What’s your point?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this new expectation that the average middle class person is supposed to save to pay for 100 percent of their kid's college. Growing up, everyone had loans, I knew of almost no one who didn't have loans to pay off. Some incurred additional debt from grad school. They've all done just fine.

I do get that college tuition is substantially more than it used to be, has risen much faster than the cost of inflation. But still, that doesn't mean you have to cut corners so tightly as to possibly cut back on retirement, or constantly live on a very tight budget. And it doesn't mean that you must work even harder to cover 100 percent of your kids' tuition.

I expect to cover at least two years of state school tuition, maybe 3 for my kids. They can make their own choices from there.

Discuss.

There is no expectation, this is just your imagination.

I have a senior in high school and am on the VT 2028 parents FB page and each week there are dozens of posts with parents devestated that their children will be crushed under suffocating loans. This is the middle class reality and what is happening outside of this silly ass message board.

Real middle class will get financial aid. These are families who probably could have saved more but didn't make it a priority. We live way under our means, don't travel, live in a house DCUM would make fun of.... to be able to pay for college and grad school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

DP. +1. And I see this touched a nerve. But, it is true. Paying for your kid's college gives them a huge leg up in life. Having your education funded doesn't mean you'll have less grit and determination - it means you can come out of school ready to conquer the world, free of the noose of debt around your neck. Less debt can mean more income to do things that can contribute to your success - like...living in a nicer place. Driving a nicer car. Joining a club and networking there. And on and on. Do not fool yourself. Those who fully fund their children's education are giving them a tremendous advantage.

I am paying for my kids education because I can…but I don’t think it gives them any real advantages on its own. Nobody cares what car you drive as a 21 year old…and honestly, if your kid is actually getting a decent first job they are likely in a metro where you wouldn’t even have a car. I also am not aware of any “clubs” to which you refer…curious as an example.

Being wealthy and connected will give your kids advantages…but let’s say you are just a mid level govt employee or worker bee that inherited $500k and can pay for college…just paying for college doesn’t much confer many advantages.

I think you are conflating wealth and connections (which always help) with the act of paying for college.

The noose of loans may strangle some…but it also drives others to rip your kid’s head off…so I tell my kid to stay sharp.

Girrrrl, you are really not thinking. Both my DH and I graduated without debt thanks to our parents. We met in college and lived together our 4th year. We bought our first home in Vienna Woods when we were 23 years old. We purchased our 2nd home at age 28. Not having debt, which allowed us to buy a home, has had a significant impact on our lives now that we are 46. We still own that same home as a rental. It brings us 42K/yr in rent and is valued at 1M and we have no mortgage on it.

I don’t understand the connection. I worked in NYC out of college and was given a promotion to London…last thing I would want is some crappy little house in Vienna Woods, so it is irrelevant if loans were involved or not.

Tell me that no loans gave you the freedom to start the next Tesla…which was founded by someone with $100k of student loans (of course those were paid off two startups prior by Elon Musk).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

DP. +1. And I see this touched a nerve. But, it is true. Paying for your kid's college gives them a huge leg up in life. Having your education funded doesn't mean you'll have less grit and determination - it means you can come out of school ready to conquer the world, free of the noose of debt around your neck. Less debt can mean more income to do things that can contribute to your success - like...living in a nicer place. Driving a nicer car. Joining a club and networking there. And on and on. Do not fool yourself. Those who fully fund their children's education are giving them a tremendous advantage.

I am paying for my kids education because I can…but I don’t think it gives them any real advantages on its own. Nobody cares what car you drive as a 21 year old…and honestly, if your kid is actually getting a decent first job they are likely in a metro where you wouldn’t even have a car. I also am not aware of any “clubs” to which you refer…curious as an example.

Being wealthy and connected will give your kids advantages…but let’s say you are just a mid level govt employee or worker bee that inherited $500k and can pay for college…just paying for college doesn’t much confer many advantages.

I think you are conflating wealth and connections (which always help) with the act of paying for college.

The noose of loans may strangle some…but it also drives others to rip your kid’s head off…so I tell my kid to stay sharp.

Girrrrl, you are really not thinking. Both my DH and I graduated without debt thanks to our parents. We met in college and lived together our 4th year. We bought our first home in Vienna Woods when we were 23 years old. We purchased our 2nd home at age 28. Not having debt, which allowed us to buy a home, has had a significant impact on our lives now that we are 46. We still own that same home as a rental. It brings us 42K/yr in rent and is valued at 1M and we have no mortgage on it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

DP. +1. And I see this touched a nerve. But, it is true. Paying for your kid's college gives them a huge leg up in life. Having your education funded doesn't mean you'll have less grit and determination - it means you can come out of school ready to conquer the world, free of the noose of debt around your neck. Less debt can mean more income to do things that can contribute to your success - like...living in a nicer place. Driving a nicer car. Joining a club and networking there. And on and on. Do not fool yourself. Those who fully fund their children's education are giving them a tremendous advantage.

I am paying for my kids education because I can…but I don’t think it gives them any real advantages on its own. Nobody cares what car you drive as a 21 year old…and honestly, if your kid is actually getting a decent first job they are likely in a metro where you wouldn’t even have a car. I also am not aware of any “clubs” to which you refer…curious as an example.

Being wealthy and connected will give your kids advantages…but let’s say you are just a mid level govt employee or worker bee that inherited $500k and can pay for college…just paying for college doesn’t much confer many advantages.

I think you are conflating wealth and connections (which always help) with the act of paying for college.

The noose of loans may strangle some…but it also drives others to rip your kid’s head off…so I tell my kid to stay sharp.

I had loans (state school) and my husband (private) did not since he was lucky enough to have a college fund that covered all of (state) law school. It was life changing not to have loans on his end.

-he could choose where to work (government)
- when we got serious, he could take on the rent while I paid down my debt
- we bought a house in our late 20s since we could save (and hit the market in 2009)
- we could save for retirement and college for the kid aggressively
- I felt comfortable taking out loans for my own grad school — knowing that between my salary increase and lack of other loans they wouldn’t crush us

So for those saying “it doesn’t give a leg up…” living proof it certainly does.

I don’t consider working for the government any mark of great success.

I had loans and worked on Wall Street and was worth millions by 30. Paid the loans back by 23.

I am not giving my story as some proof that loans are good since I am paying for my kids.

However, your example isn’t really knocking it out of the park, and I don’t want my kids settling for some government job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

DP. +1. And I see this touched a nerve. But, it is true. Paying for your kid's college gives them a huge leg up in life. Having your education funded doesn't mean you'll have less grit and determination - it means you can come out of school ready to conquer the world, free of the noose of debt around your neck. Less debt can mean more income to do things that can contribute to your success - like...living in a nicer place. Driving a nicer car. Joining a club and networking there. And on and on. Do not fool yourself. Those who fully fund their children's education are giving them a tremendous advantage.

I am paying for my kids education because I can…but I don’t think it gives them any real advantages on its own. Nobody cares what car you drive as a 21 year old…and honestly, if your kid is actually getting a decent first job they are likely in a metro where you wouldn’t even have a car. I also am not aware of any “clubs” to which you refer…curious as an example.

Being wealthy and connected will give your kids advantages…but let’s say you are just a mid level govt employee or worker bee that inherited $500k and can pay for college…just paying for college doesn’t much confer many advantages.

I think you are conflating wealth and connections (which always help) with the act of paying for college.

The noose of loans may strangle some…but it also drives others to rip your kid’s head off…so I tell my kid to stay sharp.

I had loans (state school) and my husband (private) did not since he was lucky enough to have a college fund that covered all of (state) law school. It was life changing not to have loans on his end.

-he could choose where to work (government)
- when we got serious, he could take on the rent while I paid down my debt
- we bought a house in our late 20s since we could save (and hit the market in 2009)
- we could save for retirement and college for the kid aggressively
- I felt comfortable taking out loans for my own grad school — knowing that between my salary increase and lack of other loans they wouldn’t crush us

So for those saying “it doesn’t give a leg up…” living proof it certainly does.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this new expectation that the average middle class person is supposed to save to pay for 100 percent of their kid's college. Growing up, everyone had loans, I knew of almost no one who didn't have loans to pay off. Some incurred additional debt from grad school. They've all done just fine.

I do get that college tuition is substantially more than it used to be, has risen much faster than the cost of inflation. But still, that doesn't mean you have to cut corners so tightly as to possibly cut back on retirement, or constantly live on a very tight budget. And it doesn't mean that you must work even harder to cover 100 percent of your kids' tuition.

I expect to cover at least two years of state school tuition, maybe 3 for my kids. They can make their own choices from there.

Discuss.

There is no expectation, this is just your imagination.

I have a senior in high school and am on the VT 2028 parents FB page and each week there are dozens of posts with parents devestated that their children will be crushed under suffocating loans. This is the middle class reality and what is happening outside of this silly ass message board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

DP. +1. And I see this touched a nerve. But, it is true. Paying for your kid's college gives them a huge leg up in life. Having your education funded doesn't mean you'll have less grit and determination - it means you can come out of school ready to conquer the world, free of the noose of debt around your neck. Less debt can mean more income to do things that can contribute to your success - like...living in a nicer place. Driving a nicer car. Joining a club and networking there. And on and on. Do not fool yourself. Those who fully fund their children's education are giving them a tremendous advantage.

I am paying for my kids education because I can…but I don’t think it gives them any real advantages on its own. Nobody cares what car you drive as a 21 year old…and honestly, if your kid is actually getting a decent first job they are likely in a metro where you wouldn’t even have a car. I also am not aware of any “clubs” to which you refer…curious as an example.

Being wealthy and connected will give your kids advantages…but let’s say you are just a mid level govt employee or worker bee that inherited $500k and can pay for college…just paying for college doesn’t much confer many advantages.

I think you are conflating wealth and connections (which always help) with the act of paying for college.

The noose of loans may strangle some…but it also drives others to rip your kid’s head off…so I tell my kid to stay sharp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Kids need to have some skin in the game to help motivate them to finish on time and do well - and not treat college as a 4 year (or more) party funded by mummy and daddy.

Your kids need that. Mine take their education seriously no matter who pays.

+1
My parents fully funded my education and I was tremendously grateful. I wouldn't have thought of not taking my education seriously - I knew the sacrifices my parents made to pay, and when I heard my friends discuss their mounting loans, I felt so lucky to not have any. I never partied in college - I hit the books hard, graduated on time and with highest distinction and explosive gratitude for Mom and Dad.

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems if people don't pay for their kids college and tell them to take loans.

I will continue to pay for my kids and give them all advantages that I can. Others not paying for their kids makes my kids more competitive in the long run.

DP. +1. And I see this touched a nerve. But, it is true. Paying for your kid's college gives them a huge leg up in life. Having your education funded doesn't mean you'll have less grit and determination - it means you can come out of school ready to conquer the world, free of the noose of debt around your neck. Less debt can mean more income to do things that can contribute to your success - like...living in a nicer place. Driving a nicer car. Joining a club and networking there. And on and on. Do not fool yourself. Those who fully fund their children's education are giving them a tremendous advantage.