My son and I our chill...well, we would be chill w/out Tiger Dad freaking out about everything. I have had to intervene and tell him to back off. My kid is motivated, literally has a perfect record and it's getting done, will get done. The nagging makes things worse and is unnecessary.

Anonymous wrote:Why am I looking at the college forums? Because sometimes I like laughing and shaking my head at the kind of insecure people who ask stupid questions like, "should we not submit a 1500 sat score?" Or, "my younger son only has an UW 3.7 from a top 20 private school. What will he do with his life because he can't go to Princeton like his older brother?"

I find it tragi-comical that you can have such high-achieving kids and still make them feel like they failed.

And all of us who find of smirking self-satisfied and also super defensive OP who started this thread to be
tragi-comic" as well, please raise your hand!

OP if you are so chill and happy with your great calm, self-sufficient child (and with your ability to have no worries about the process financial or otherwise) why are you getting upset? You may be chill, but your insecurity is apparent in all your shrill defensive responses asking us to "just allow you" to have your self-congratulatory back-slapping party that judges OTHERS. You also show no ability to self reflect when others explain they are on this forum because they may have pressures (money problems, kids with learning challenges, lack of experience with the process) that you do not.

Why am I looking at the college forums? Because sometimes I like laughing and shaking my head at the kind of insecure people who ask stupid questions like, "should we not submit a 1500 sat score?" Or, "my younger son only has an UW 3.7 from a top 20 private school. What will he do with his life because he can't go to Princeton like his older brother?"

I find it tragi-comical that you can have such high-achieving kids and still make them feel like they failed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be chill about the application process but clearly not so chill about the way this thread is going.

OP here and you’re right about that. I should have known all the uprights would come in and crash the party. Oh well. Lesson learned.

I interpreted PP's post a little differently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May be chill about the application process but clearly not so chill about the way this thread is going.

OP here and you’re right about that. I should have known all the uprights would come in and crash the party. Oh well. Lesson learned.

^upTIGHTS

Anonymous wrote:May be chill about the application process but clearly not so chill about the way this thread is going.

OP here and you’re right about that. I should have known all the uprights would come in and crash the party. Oh well. Lesson learned.

May be chill about the application process but clearly not so chill about the way this thread is going.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

Well if you are 100% hands-off on their applications, it seems like unnecessary energy to be reading and writing all of this.

I had no idea that if you are hands off on college applications you must not post on DCUM about it. Learn something new every day. Thank you so much!

I had no idea that asking someone why if they are so hands-off about college they find interest in this forum is telling them that they must not post. Learn something new every day!

Don’t think that landed as well as you hoped. Maybe I f you put as much effort into your responses as you did into your kids college apps, you could do better! I’m here, cheering you on!

Huh?

Translation: your attempt at a witty comeback fell flat. Sorry.

Ok, I'm starting to think it is a very good thing that you are not helping your child with their applications.

And I’m still trying to figure out why the hell you are on this thread.

Honestly, it was funny to me that someone who is hanging out on a college forum started a thread about being "chill."

Oh thank god you were just being a trolling a$$hole. I totally thought you were serious! Whew! Close one.

I never thought I was trolling. I asked one post of "why are you on a DCUM college forum then" and actually my question was honest--if you are really all that hands-off and chill, DCUM college forum doesn't have information you need nor a community of like-minded people. There are other places to find your people that aren't anonymous. But someone ==you?--responded like that question was just so out of the pale and then got all weirdly defensive.

Sure it does. There are plenty of like minded responses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

Well if you are 100% hands-off on their applications, it seems like unnecessary energy to be reading and writing all of this.

I had no idea that if you are hands off on college applications you must not post on DCUM about it. Learn something new every day. Thank you so much!

I had no idea that asking someone why if they are so hands-off about college they find interest in this forum is telling them that they must not post. Learn something new every day!

Don’t think that landed as well as you hoped. Maybe I f you put as much effort into your responses as you did into your kids college apps, you could do better! I’m here, cheering you on!

Huh?

Translation: your attempt at a witty comeback fell flat. Sorry.

Ok, I'm starting to think it is a very good thing that you are not helping your child with their applications.

And I’m still trying to figure out why the hell you are on this thread.

Honestly, it was funny to me that someone who is hanging out on a college forum started a thread about being "chill."

Oh thank god you were just being a trolling a$$hole. I totally thought you were serious! Whew! Close one.

I never thought I was trolling. I asked one post of "why are you on a DCUM college forum then" and actually my question was honest--if you are really all that hands-off and chill, DCUM college forum doesn't have information you need nor a community of like-minded people. There are other places to find your people that aren't anonymous. But someone ==you?--responded like that question was just so out of the pale and then got all weirdly defensive.

Anonymous wrote:Every year, there are parents who post because deadlines are coming up and their kid hasn't gotten it together. Many people commiserate, but there are always a few who claim that if a kid can't do everything on their own, they shouldn't even be going to college. And how their little Larlo got into Harvard and all they did was pay for the application fee. If you want to hang with those folks, that's fine but they definitely annoy the &@%$ out of a lot of us.

And the people making this their journey and not their kids annoy the fück out of those of us on this thread (not the trolls, of course). You guys get your threads, why can’t we have ours? You all feel the need to come in here and tell us we’re wrong or annoying or whatever. Seems like a waste of time on your part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

Well if you are 100% hands-off on their applications, it seems like unnecessary energy to be reading and writing all of this.

I had no idea that if you are hands off on college applications you must not post on DCUM about it. Learn something new every day. Thank you so much!

I had no idea that asking someone why if they are so hands-off about college they find interest in this forum is telling them that they must not post. Learn something new every day!

Don’t think that landed as well as you hoped. Maybe I f you put as much effort into your responses as you did into your kids college apps, you could do better! I’m here, cheering you on!

Huh?

Translation: your attempt at a witty comeback fell flat. Sorry.

Ok, I'm starting to think it is a very good thing that you are not helping your child with their applications.

And I’m still trying to figure out why the hell you are on this thread.

Honestly, it was funny to me that someone who is hanging out on a college forum started a thread about being "chill."

Oh thank god you were just being a trolling a$$hole. I totally thought you were serious! Whew! Close one.

Every year, there are parents who post because deadlines are coming up and their kid hasn't gotten it together. Many people commiserate, but there are always a few who claim that if a kid can't do everything on their own, they shouldn't even be going to college. And how their little Larlo got into Harvard and all they did was pay for the application fee. If you want to hang with those folks, that's fine but they definitely annoy the &@%$ out of a lot of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

Well if you are 100% hands-off on their applications, it seems like unnecessary energy to be reading and writing all of this.

I had no idea that if you are hands off on college applications you must not post on DCUM about it. Learn something new every day. Thank you so much!

I had no idea that asking someone why if they are so hands-off about college they find interest in this forum is telling them that they must not post. Learn something new every day!

Don’t think that landed as well as you hoped. Maybe I f you put as much effort into your responses as you did into your kids college apps, you could do better! I’m here, cheering you on!

Huh?

Translation: your attempt at a witty comeback fell flat. Sorry.

Ok, I'm starting to think it is a very good thing that you are not helping your child with their applications.

And I’m still trying to figure out why the hell you are on this thread.

Honestly, it was funny to me that someone who is hanging out on a college forum started a thread about being "chill."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

Well if you are 100% hands-off on their applications, it seems like unnecessary energy to be reading and writing all of this.

I had no idea that if you are hands off on college applications you must not post on DCUM about it. Learn something new every day. Thank you so much!

I had no idea that asking someone why if they are so hands-off about college they find interest in this forum is telling them that they must not post. Learn something new every day!

Don’t think that landed as well as you hoped. Maybe I f you put as much effort into your responses as you did into your kids college apps, you could do better! I’m here, cheering you on!

Huh?

Translation: your attempt at a witty comeback fell flat. Sorry.

Ok, I'm starting to think it is a very good thing that you are not helping your child with their applications.

And I’m still trying to figure out why the hell you are on this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

Well if you are 100% hands-off on their applications, it seems like unnecessary energy to be reading and writing all of this.

I had no idea that if you are hands off on college applications you must not post on DCUM about it. Learn something new every day. Thank you so much!

I had no idea that asking someone why if they are so hands-off about college they find interest in this forum is telling them that they must not post. Learn something new every day!

Don’t think that landed as well as you hoped. Maybe I f you put as much effort into your responses as you did into your kids college apps, you could do better! I’m here, cheering you on!

Huh?

Translation: your attempt at a witty comeback fell flat. Sorry.

Ok, I'm starting to think it is a very good thing that you are not helping your child with their applications.