Anonymous wrote:This thread is some bulls**t. You have a king's ransom as a dp and a king's ransom in HHI but can't have EXACTLY what you want where you want it so you are priced out? Go touch grass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

It does suck if what you want is a big house. Then I would suggest moving to a cheaper city.

Also, I love the sense of entitlement that comes with making 300k as an HHI. In this area, that is two GS14/15 feds, or two middle managers of medium sized companies. (It is obviously harder to do as a single income, but the point stands.) The idea that you deserve some big house in the close in suburbs of a major city with tons of wealth shows a profound lack of perspective. You might want to see if you can work remotely and move somewhere cheaper.

Profound lack of perspective? Do you know how few families make $300,000 a year in this country?

Don’t you love how on DCUM people with 300k incomes get told all the time how it’s not that much money, they don’t deserve a nice home close to work, they are lowly middle managers, etc. But then also get reamed if they call themselves middle class.

My family makes around that level of income and I think of us as fairly UMC but then plenty of posters rag as if this is working class and how dare we want a kitchen updated within the past decade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Projection much? DH grew up in an apartment with shootings in the parking lot. His left when he was 10. I'd hardly call that UMC.

He and I both don't want to end up house poor, where we both have to work full time into our 70s. We both see that routinely in our workplaces and it scares us. These coworkers have nearly all of their net worth tied up in their homes and didn't start investing for retirement until they were in their 50s. Seeing that every day has made us far less eager to jump into a money pit without an inspection or an adequate reserve fund for structural repairs at our price point. We set a target for that fund (separate from downpayment, closing costs, etc.) and are saving for that. We save about 40% of our take home pay. I think that's decent for a family of four, and if we can't buy around here because I make a median salary and DH is topped out, we'll either have to change jobs and move or just keep renting. We'll be fine either way, as one PP noted, but it does mean that we run the risk of being priced out. It's all about choices. Some people are happy owning and working until they die, some people make 1M a year and save over 50% of their take home pay and can have it all. We are in between, and that's just reality.

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)

I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Anonymous wrote:The problem for OP and a lot of others around here who grew up UMC is that they had nice, large, comfortable homes when they were young. So they think that they deserve a home like that for their family now. When OP and others have a $1M+ budget and call houses in their price range “crappy,” they are acting entitled and are out of touch with reality. (No wonder their realtors suggest borrowing from their parents; non—UMC would not behave this way.)


This is really true. People with equivalent or sometimes better jobs than their parents expect to live equivalent lives but that’s no longer possible unless you bought >5 years ago.
I grew up poor as heck. I bought a “crappy” little house here 12 years ago that is luxury compared to my childhood home. I have hot water, a roof over my head, a fricking dishwasher!, access to good schools and transit, and more. My house is not fully updated and is close to a busy street, but my mortgage is low and the house works for us.

Anonymous wrote:I recall in PreCana when I got engaged the people giving instructions to the newly engaged couples what to expect had words of wisdom. Three married couples presented, one married 3 years, 20 years and 50 years!!

All agreed newly engaged couples need to start saving asap for a house, then after married save, save and save and buy house before kid born. Once kids born hard to save and little time for a fixer upper or home repairs.

I listened and bought a smaller fixer upper in a second tier neighborhood when my wife was 3 months pregnant with first. We had time to close, 3 months to do painting, get nursery set up. Being young still family willing to help with painting etc. (not an option now)

Home prices kept shooting up. My wife left work for good when baby six months old. Why we had the house locked in forever. My town schools were great. But second tier as HS not as good.

But given rising home prices if I waited dream area with home prices rapidly rising then paying two commutes and child care how does waiting work?

Thing if you bought a fixer upper in silver spring near metro or even a tiny tiny run down shack inBethesda on a busy street in 2015. You have it almost paid off by now, paying no rent and have close to one million equity between down payment, home appreciation and paying down mortgage. Yea it would be a sucky house for 10 years so be it. But you would not be 45, homeless with two kids at mercy of landlord

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

WTF kind of statement is this??? DH and I were paying $2500/month in rent 10 years ago with a baby in daycare and an HHI of $160K and somehow managed to buy a house then and our second house this year. $2500/month in rent is a great deal for a family of four.