Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 15:42     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:The biological point of having children is reproduction of your genes. You can come up with some modern take about fulfillment and such, but life got to this point with selfish genes. The desire for grandchildren is natural and built in as a baseline human drive selected by billions of years of evolution. Any parent who claims they would not be disappointed that their genes die out two generations down the line is kidding themselves.


What the heck, you must be a man. I only have one child and I am fine not being a grandma!
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 15:24     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I like what my sisters friends rich grandparents did. Set up a trust giving zero to currently living people. Even time a new kid born parents get a check $200k. When that kid graduates a four year college a second check 200k the when that kid has kids more 200k checks.

Giving childless people money 💰 with no metrics attached is useless.

The kids exist to raise educated kids of their own to go on and have more kids.

The trust is inflation adjusted. I am not rich enough to do that. But I can see setting up a trust for future kids and leave none to kids.

I was thinking leaving it all in a trust leaving zero to living people then pay out 1/10 every time a kid born after my death so first kids get a bigger share of pot.

Having kids with no kids is kinda like going to a restaurant and not eating.


Ok I don't agree that everyone should have kids or that there is "no point" to having kids if they don't have kids. Just strongly, strongly disagree.

HOWEVER

I do agree that it's kind of weird to leave an adult who is past the age where they might have had kids and didn't, a huge sum of money. What is it for? If you don't have kids, you can work for 30 years (or less if you choose the right field), save intelligently, and have an amazing life where you never really worry about money. If your parents paid for your college education, you're golden. You don't have to worry about buying a house IB for good schools, sending kids to college, paying for braces, helping your kid pay for an apartment while they job hunt, etc. You also don't have to give up career opportunities to be present for your kids, as so many women especially do.

It just makes sense to give more money to adult kids who have kids (or at least give the money directly to the grandkids) than to leave huge sums to childless adults. Why, so they can have really, extra nice retirements? They don't even have anyone to leave the excess to. It makes no sense.

If none of your kids have kids, divide it evenly and let the chips fall. But if some have children and others don't, I do actually think it makes more sense to leave most of it to the people with kids so that money actually helps future generations get an education and get started in life, instead of just helping your adult child buy a vacation home or buy a really nice TV or whatever.


This is dumb. My sister has kids, I don’t. My mother divided her money equally between me and my sister. When I die, I’ll leave what remains of my share to my nieces and nephew. So the grandkids will get it either way, just not right away.


But what if you didn't intend to leave what remains to your nieces and nephews. Or what if you spend it all on yourself first? If your mom didn't trust you to spend responsibly and to leave it to her grandchildren, she might allocate more money to her child with kids to get a better likelihood that her money gets used for future generations.

Also, one thing to consider is when the money will be passed on. Passing more money onto kids with kids often means that the money goes straight to college or downpayments for grandkids because of the timing. Your nieces and nephews will not be able to use any bequest from you to pay for their educations or to give them a better start in life. If that's something your mom cared about (and something she was able to provide for you), it would make sense for her to leave more money to your sister or even to put some portion of money into trusts for grandkids, by reducing the shares to you and your sister.


Actually I contributed generously to their 529s, but thanks for playing. The fact is that my mother was entitled to allocate her money any way she chose, and she chose to give half to me, because I am her daughter, and equally as worthy as my sister. Your views have literally not one jot of impact or relevance.

*rolls around having wild child free sex in my inheritance money*
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 15:20     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I think exactly like you, OP, except that I love parenting and do not regret prioritizing my children.

However, I agree with your greater point. What's the point if my line ends?

I don't know how old you are, but my uncle became a grandfather at 80+ years old. He had his daughter later in life, and she had a daughter at 36. It was probably the happiest day of his life.



+1
The desire to see your line continue is biological and innate. No one should be shaming OP for saying what most people feel deep inside.



Uh, maybe OP and others should use their intellect and logic (assuming they have any) to rise above these frankly primitive impulses. We don’t live in caves anymore.


😂😂 you’re a moron

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy


Hon, it was the morons in the movie that were having all the kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 15:17     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:The show “who do you think you are” is all about family trees and sacrifices ancestors made to get me where I am.

My family survived Black Plague, 1847 Potato Famine, survived WWI and WWII, Great Depression got on a ship to America and worked like a dog in menial jobs to get American dream and ensure college educations for their kids.

For my kids to not have kids and kill off future generations is it a slap in the face to me and all my relatives in history.

Why did my kids grandmother and father even get on that boat to America to only have their grandchildren decide to not have great grandchildren? The boat might as well sunk.



So you're saying that your life didn't matter. No one's life matters.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 12:38     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:This is a wretched thread. Of course people get to be sad if they don’t have grandkids. I want my kids to have kids if only because it was the best thing I ever did and I had to be talked into it. So much more important than my precious career. and I don’t want my kind to die out either!

My husband and I both went to Harvard but we’d rather send our kids to a lesser school with better marriage options and grandkid yield.

I have a friend who works out solely to stay in shape for her grandkids who won’t be born for twenty years. If she didn’t have any I don’t think she’d want to live. She is a very normal and lovely person.


LMAO, I bet you work that into every conversation you have.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 12:35     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:The show “who do you think you are” is all about family trees and sacrifices ancestors made to get me where I am.

My family survived Black Plague, 1847 Potato Famine, survived WWI and WWII, Great Depression got on a ship to America and worked like a dog in menial jobs to get American dream and ensure college educations for their kids.

For my kids to not have kids and kill off future generations is it a slap in the face to me and all my relatives in history.

Why did my kids grandmother and father even get on that boat to America to only have their grandchildren decide to not have great grandchildren? The boat might as well sunk.



If you asked grandma, "would you mind dying NOW since, you are an evolutionary dead end anyway", I have a feeling she might still opt to enjoy her life instead of giving up due to the choices of her progeny.

Besides, are your kids her only descendants? Surely she has other happily reproductive descendants somewhere?
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 12:32     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:The biological point of having children is reproduction of your genes. You can come up with some modern take about fulfillment and such, but life got to this point with selfish genes. The desire for grandchildren is natural and built in as a baseline human drive selected by billions of years of evolution. Any parent who claims they would not be disappointed that their genes die out two generations down the line is kidding themselves.


Yes, we are programmed to reproduce, to protect our offspring, so that our genes continue. However, as sentient beings, we can acknowlege this programming and try to bring logic to bear on our reproductive choices. We are not beasts in the farmyard.

Just as we are arguably programmed against monogomy or for gluttony or (fill in the blank) doesn't mean we have to give in to it.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 12:04     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
I have no siblings and desperately wanted to have a biological child. I was infertile, likely due to my older age (39) when marrying. Despite multiple IVFs, I never carried a pregnancy to term. We wound up adopting. At no point in this journey did my parents EVER make me feel bad for either not being married, or being unable to have biological kids, or for adopting. They loved me just the way I was. I am horrified by these posts and stories of people resenting their kids not having kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 11:57     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
The show “who do you think you are” is all about family trees and sacrifices ancestors made to get me where I am.

My family survived Black Plague, 1847 Potato Famine, survived WWI and WWII, Great Depression got on a ship to America and worked like a dog in menial jobs to get American dream and ensure college educations for their kids.

For my kids to not have kids and kill off future generations is it a slap in the face to me and all my relatives in history.

Why did my kids grandmother and father even get on that boat to America to only have their grandchildren decide to not have great grandchildren? The boat might as well sunk.

Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 11:08     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:The biological point of having children is reproduction of your genes. You can come up with some modern take about fulfillment and such, but life got to this point with selfish genes. The desire for grandchildren is natural and built in as a baseline human drive selected by billions of years of evolution. Any parent who claims they would not be disappointed that their genes die out two generations down the line is kidding themselves.



I don’t care if my genes die out. I’m not royalty.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2023 22:32     Subject: Re:If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:All this talk about the world failing is baffling to me. Are things any worse now than they were when people owned other humans as property? Are things worse now than they were during the world wars?

The world was always a shitty place. It's no worse than it was I'm the past.


Sure, it’s always been a shitty place but women have more independence and control over their own bodies, and societal pressure to birth children has decreased. It’s not surprising that women who don’t want kids choose not to have them now.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2023 18:49     Subject: Re:If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend who was adopted from a third world country (not due to infertility), while her younger brother was born to their parents. He is a wildly successful tall blonde white dude who married young to a wife who stays home to raise their three beautiful kids. My friend went to college, works and functions fine, but she's not white and had some problems related to being adopted by a wealthy white family in a predominately white community. Her parents gave her brother a huge sum of money when he married and bought a home. She rents. Her parents will not help her buy an apartment. Her parents plan her a pittance while her brother will receive the bulk of their estate.
They WANTED her. They planned to adopt their first child when they married. They raised her. And it's very likely in part due to the fact that she was adopted that her life has not gone quite as perfectly as her brother's. She's not even estranged from the family! She sees her parents regularly. But they're punishing her for not marrying and having children, things that she certainly wanted but did not have the luck of getting.

Sorry, but I think that's pretty messed up. I hope her parents change their mind before they die.


This is so sad.

I'm glad my parents loved me even though I wasn't able to have much wanted children. Sadly, they would have hated it had we adopted children.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2023 17:21     Subject: Re:If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
All this talk about the world failing is baffling to me. Are things any worse now than they were when people owned other humans as property? Are things worse now than they were during the world wars?

The world was always a shitty place. It's no worse than it was I'm the past.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2023 12:16     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
I am not my gametes.

You are crazy to think our conscious desires are driven by evolution like a gorilla.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2023 11:58     Subject: If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?
The biological point of having children is reproduction of your genes. You can come up with some modern take about fulfillment and such, but life got to this point with selfish genes. The desire for grandchildren is natural and built in as a baseline human drive selected by billions of years of evolution. Any parent who claims they would not be disappointed that their genes die out two generations down the line is kidding themselves.