Anonymous
Post 08/31/2025 22:28     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My spouse was moved by his parents summer before senior year (and they made him ride the bus). The only saving grave was he was a standout athlete so he was able to make friends.

He has never forgiven his parents. They should have let him live with family friends for the year.

If it were bf freshman year I’d probably do it. I didn’t know anyone as a freshman and I was fine.


Sounds like your spouse is a terrible person with mental issues and hell eventually turn his pettiness on you.


Super weird and creepy response. He has a good relationship with his parents. They have since admitted this was a terrible decision on their part because they had other options. But upending a senior who is trying to apply for colleges is a super crappy thing to do.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2025 21:39     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I went to Chapel Hill 33 years ago. Not so. In state average SAT was about 1100. It was generally true that a student from Charlotte was a stronger student than a rural student, but there were plenty of not all that academic kids at Carolina in those days. (I was out of state, but a legacy, so it wasn't as hard for me to get in, but I was top 10 in my class and over 1300 SAT,and National Merit, so I may have been competitive without that )
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 22:07     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:My spouse was moved by his parents summer before senior year (and they made him ride the bus). The only saving grave was he was a standout athlete so he was able to make friends.

He has never forgiven his parents. They should have let him live with family friends for the year.

If it were bf freshman year I’d probably do it. I didn’t know anyone as a freshman and I was fine.


Sounds like your spouse is a terrible person with mental issues and hell eventually turn his pettiness on you.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 21:46     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
My spouse was moved by his parents summer before senior year (and they made him ride the bus). The only saving grave was he was a standout athlete so he was able to make friends.

He has never forgiven his parents. They should have let him live with family friends for the year.

If it were bf freshman year I’d probably do it. I didn’t know anyone as a freshman and I was fine.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 20:39     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Your kid is only at home for another three years then you are left fending for life on your own. But your career will be there thru your fifties/sixties/seventies until you retire essentially.

Follow your dream.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 20:25     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
OP made this choice two years ago folks.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 20:22     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:You are allowed to put yourself first.


This is not correct. You cannot put yourself first when the mental well-being of your child is potentially at stake. The whole concept of being a parent is that for 18 years, the needs of your child will always come first. Being a parent is far more important than any other job will ever be, and you only get some shot at it.

I'm not saying not to take this opportunity, OP, but please think long and hard about the potential ramifications this decision to uproot your family could have in the long term.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 09:49     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
This is an old thread. We were hoping OP would come back with an update.

Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 09:42     Subject: Re:Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:No. If you've never had a teenager in crisis, you can't grasp how impulsive, vulnerable, irritable, and self-destructive a teenager without a support system/ small friend group, can be.


+ my parents moved me in 6th grade and again in 9th. I was a mess. I truly think kids need stability from 12-18. Obviously some kids do ok. But I felt very lost and fell in with a wrong crowd for a while when I was desperate to fit in and angry at my parents. I had been a totally good kid, good grades, etc. before HS. so don’t assume your kid will be fine just because he’s doing well now.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 09:36     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I would move, with only 2 potential exceptions:

* If a rising senior, then I would double-check that child can graduate on time from the new school.

* If my current state had excellent in-state public universities and new state had terrible in-state public universities.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 09:24     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
This depends entirely on your kid. My older DC would have been fine (or at least no worse off) but it would have been absolutely the wrong choice for my younger one.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 09:23     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
I did this, moving as a junior in high school, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 09:15     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For the PP facing a similar situation, there is a solution that you have time to implement:

Apply now, this cycle that is just beginning, to reclassify to repeat 9th at private schools that begin in 9th (not k-12 privates) in the new city. You may even have an admissions edge for bringing in a bit of geographic/perspective diversity to the new school.

The extra year of maturity will benefit the teen starting fresh at a school where all students are new and friendship circles are not yet formed. They will also have an academic buffer to reduce the stress of transition.

If the new job includes a salary bump, dedicate some of those funds to the child’s education in order to support a “dream” transition for all family members.

Good luck!


Yes, because all kids dream of repeating a grade. I may have missed this but we don’t know if DC is young or old for grade in either area


+1 horrible idea! Turning 16 as a freshman would be awful.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2025 08:56     Subject: Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?
Here’s a study about moving in high school:
https://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2015/12/10/when-families-move-high-school-students-may-suffer

I moved around as a kid and it got harder as I got older, but I don’t see moving as all bad. However, it seems worth protecting that high school window. It’s only another three years.

I have one friend who moved halfway through one child’s high school experience. It went ok, because the kid had been unhappy and friendless at the old school. He never integrated into the new school or made friends there, but she felt it wasn’t any worse.