Anonymous wrote:Of course the married man is risking blowing up his won life the minute he steps out.

The OW is just collateral damage. She never made vows to his wife nor is she a role model for his children.

Cheating is ALL on the cheater.

This is like saying that the witting accomplice to a crime is not in any way responsible for a crime.

Nope. Accomplices are also responsible for their roles. I would give a pass to an AP who truly did not know she or he was an AP -- in other words, a person to whom a married cheater has lied and claimed to be single. It can happen, especially if the affair is taking place in a location away from the married cheater's family. But otherwise, where the AP knows they're with a married person, the affair partner is a knowing accomplice, and absolutely has a role in the cheating. It is not "ALL on the cheater" but "ALL on the cheaters," plural. The AP is helping the married person cheat and knows it's wrong. Saying "(S)he never made vows to the wife" is nonsense. The AP is an accomplice helping the married cheater break vows.

You didn’t agree to a sexless marriage. They didn’t agree to be lied to and cheated on. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Ask for a divorce. There’s your happy ending.

Anonymous wrote:What’s a happy affair story? It’s a terrible betrayal to do to your spouse and (if you have them) children. I can’t imagine proactively looking for affair- have a trace of sympathy for people who fall in love with an ex or someone they’re around often in their every day life, but zero for people who act on it. If your marriage has issues, sort them out.

The exception is married couples without children who agree to open up the marriage on whatever terms they want (though if they don’t have kids, why stay together then?). Open marriages never end well when kids are involved.

A happy affair story is one of two scenarios:

1. Spouse leaves for AP and it works out
2. The affair is never discovered.


This should be obvious. Most affairs are not discovered. #1 is less common.

Anonymous wrote:What’s a happy affair story? It’s a terrible betrayal to do to your spouse and (if you have them) children. I can’t imagine proactively looking for affair- have a trace of sympathy for people who fall in love with an ex or someone they’re around often in their every day life, but zero for people who act on it. If your marriage has issues, sort them out.

The exception is married couples without children who agree to open up the marriage on whatever terms they want (though if they don’t have kids, why stay together then?). Open marriages never end well when kids are involved.

I think what the OP meant was stories where there's a happy ending FOR THE CHEATERS. Obviously if the autonomy and well-being of the betrayed spouse mattered there wouldn't be an affair at all.

What’s a happy affair story? It’s a terrible betrayal to do to your spouse and (if you have them) children. I can’t imagine proactively looking for affair- have a trace of sympathy for people who fall in love with an ex or someone they’re around often in their every day life, but zero for people who act on it. If your marriage has issues, sort them out.

The exception is married couples without children who agree to open up the marriage on whatever terms they want (though if they don’t have kids, why stay together then?). Open marriages never end well when kids are involved.