Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1. Former parent. I have many emotions but not that much information. This is a devastating crime. Right now, I blame only Chris Bendann. I certainly don’t blame any teenagers who heard rumors and didn’t report them, although I wonder if they did and if adults did. I’m following the story, and offering support to the community and especially to the boys who were abused and reported it. Thank God they did. They are heroes in a horrific story.

Current upper school parent— there were no rumors of the abuse until last month. Everyone was shocked. Bendann was very successful in manipulating his victims into silence.

You really think as a parent that you have half a clue about what was or wasn't known to school administrators? Come on.

Anonymous wrote:+1. Former parent. I have many emotions but not that much information. This is a devastating crime. Right now, I blame only Chris Bendann. I certainly don’t blame any teenagers who heard rumors and didn’t report them, although I wonder if they did and if adults did. I’m following the story, and offering support to the community and especially to the boys who were abused and reported it. Thank God they did. They are heroes in a horrific story.

Current upper school parent— there were no rumors of the abuse until last month. Everyone was shocked. Bendann was very successful in manipulating his victims into silence.

the school must answer why a currently employed middle school counselor was allowed to go to the trial in support of bendann

+1. Former parent. I have many emotions but not that much information. This is a devastating crime. Right now, I blame only Chris Bendann. I certainly don’t blame any teenagers who heard rumors and didn’t report them, although I wonder if they did and if adults did. I’m following the story, and offering support to the community and especially to the boys who were abused and reported it. Thank God they did. They are heroes in a horrific story.

I can see that you have a lot of your own issues that you are unpacking here. I’m so sorry that happened to you. But I’m not sure that it gives you particular insight into this situation right now. And calling for the head of school’s head to roll, before any more facts are revealed, is very premature. Maybe we will learn that there were culpable failures to follow procedure. Or maybe we won’t. But as a current parent, I have no interest in playing the blame game until we actually know something.

Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Speculation about what might or what you believe “must” have happened is not helpful to anyone.

Anonymous wrote:Psychologist here. As a PP noted, people don’t suddenly become pedophiles at age 38. Since this teacher was employed by Gilman for 15 years, unfortunately there will be many victims. These 2 boys are just the tip of the iceberg.

And current HOS has been there for 13 years--not all of it as head--but most of it. Even if it's true that he didn't know, you'd have to ask, why not? How does somebody this horrific work right alongside you for 13 years and you don't have a clue? How does a teacher spend the night with boys and the school culture is such that nobody came forward? Makes you wonder what's going on at these elite privates, that people are that afraid to speak up. I mean, this head came from two "elite" DC schools before going to Gilman. I had a young man from one of those "elite" schools--son of as staff member--ask to babysit my young son repeatedly for a time, and it just didn't feel right so we said no repeatedly. As previous posters said, men babysitting boys in this day and age just isn't right. How could nobody at least have a sense of this?

For the last poster, I’m sorry this happened to you. Do you think the administration at the school you went to knew about the abuse and covered it up?

Anonymous wrote:I was victimized by a teacher at a private school when I was a similar age, and in somewhat similar circumstances. I carried that trauma privately as my secret for a couple of decades. When I decided to try to take action (finally brave enough to even Google the teacher's name), I learned I wasn't remotely alone. By the time I settled with my former school, I was the 61st man who his former schools (there were several) had paid after settlement or verdicts (payments ranged from 200k to more than 2 million).

If this teacher was at Gilman for 15 years, I'd assume there are dozens and dozens of victims.

I'm in disbelief, but maybe I shouldn't be, that it's 2023 and any school is so careless that this behavior could go on for 15 years.

I should add, for the posters out there speculating that the abuse may have been recent only, the first claim paid against the teacher who abused me was ifrom a series of assaults against a high school freshman in the teacher's first year of his little more than twenty years of teaching.

My advice to parents of sons who went to Gilman over past 15 years is to have a conversation with your child to make sure they are OK.

And one more thing, don't assume that your child is safe just because this teacher didn't teach your son. The teacher who abused me was never directly my teacher.

I was victimized by a teacher at a private school when I was a similar age, and in somewhat similar circumstances. I carried that trauma privately as my secret for a couple of decades. When I decided to try to take action (finally brave enough to even Google the teacher's name), I learned I wasn't remotely alone. By the time I settled with my former school, I was the 61st man who his former schools (there were several) had paid after settlement or verdicts (payments ranged from 200k to more than 2 million).

If this teacher was at Gilman for 15 years, I'd assume there are dozens and dozens of victims.

I'm in disbelief, but maybe I shouldn't be, that it's 2023 and any school is so careless that this behavior could go on for 15 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For sure if the school administration knew there was a rapist among them, that would be an issue.

Gilman outright failed to report rumors of faculty giving the boys alcohol. They can absolutely be sued for that. They have a legal obligation to report anything like that. Talk with your sons, people, even if they were former students there. This can easily escalate into a huge lawsuit and payouts, considering the perp was there for 15 years.

Well, first you’d have to prove that they actually knew about it, not “they must have known”.

If they were culpable, they should pay. But people are very naive to believe that an abuser can’t conceal abuse. They can, and do.

All it takes is one parent to report to detectives that they had asked a school employee if they heard about the kids getting booze from Chris. It’s already happened. At that instant school was legally required to contact police.

Again, you seem to be confusing civil and criminal liability. The police are going to be focused on locating victims and getting their story, not possible negligence by the school.

Teachers and admin are mandated reporters and can be prosecuted for failing to report.

Mandated reporting applies to physical or sexual abuse, or neglect. While giving booze to minors is illegal, there is no legal mandate for reporting

If Gilman faculty were legally required to report every instance they knew of adults giving alcohol to students, there would be a lot of Roland Park parents getting reported every Monday after hosting parties for their kid and friends over the weekend

Cops will determine who at Gilman participated in the cover-up of the rape of the boys. It had been going on for years and years. Perp figured he could keep doing it for another 15 years as long as the board would continue with business as usual.

Okay, you’ve made up a whole story. IF Gilman covered it up, they should be held accountable. There’s zero evidence so far that they did. Let’s wait until there’s some actual evidence before going nuts about a coverup, okay?

Again, the detectives will figure out how this went on for 15 years. Check your comprehension. They know that men don’t turn into pedophiles overnight. He was a pedophiles the day Gilman hired him at age 23. Just ask anyone knowledgeable in this field. We’ll never know how many boys suffered sex abuse at that school. It’s a real tragedy. Fifteen years is a long time to carry on with something like this. But who knows, maybe they’ll decide his pedophilia suddenly came out of no where just last year, and there are no other victims.
On the other hand, news reports said boyS were forced to run naked in the park. Can you imagine?

Wow, that’s a lot of words to say “since I don’t have proof, I’m going to perseverate on what I think must have been the case”. Proof will come, or it will not. Your deep conviction proves nothing.

Yet again, detectives will figure things out.

So will the civil lawyers who get access to the emails and notes about this guy over the years. Shit storm is coming.

+1. Highly doubtful they can survive yet another scandal. Students and faculty are searching for alternatives. Shit storm is right.

Oh, for heavens sake. Stop infecting this thread with your repeated hysterical posts about DOOM FOR GILMAN. 3 teachers over a 70 year span doesn’t take down a school like Gilman. Heck, TWENTY teachers didn’t take down Horace Mann. TWENTY.

It’s not minimizing the horror to say: right now, with what we know, this doesn’t define the school. It’s a terrible thing that happened to them, not a terrible thing that they did. If evidence comes out that they did do something terrible in conjunction, well, that will change things. But we’re not there right now so your histrionics are indeed premature.

And I bet you that next year’s admissions will be just as tough as this year’s. They aren’t going to have any trouble filling their classes. And I don’t know where you’re getting your information about students and faculty “searching for alternatives”, but none of the actual Gilman families I know are even considering it.

This. Including that the Gilman family I know well is not considering switching. It’s a great school. It absolutely shaped my son for the better and I’m grateful for it. I don’t believe any one covered up abuse. But I wonder if people in administration knew Bendann was babysitting and didn’t call him out for it. I hope not.

Of course they knew. It’s natural for everyone to be in denial that child rape was going on under their noses, and “no adult had a clue”. Making the kids go completely naked in public is really evil and demented. The boys talked about it with kids from other schools. It was no secret.

When children are sexually assaulted, everything is changed. Everything. Ask any professional. Or course adults knew something very wrong was happening. Yet no one cared enough to put a stop to the systematic sex assault the children.

Most people know there’s a huge effort in some circles to normalize adults having sex with children. It’s nothing but sheer evil to allow this to be done to children. These boys were threatened. The rest of their lives have changed. For many victims, it’ll take decades of pain and shame until they can add their names to the enormous list of victims. Many will go to their graves with the suffering they endured.

Whenever it may happen that any former Gilman student is ready for professional counseling services, the school must be forced to pay for it. With previous sex assaults at Gilman, the school got off having to pay only for the students who were able to immediately come forward at the time of the investigation. Gilman has an ethical obligation to remedy that evil, and pay for counseling whenever any former student is ready to get desperately needed help and support. The damage perpetrated is unfathomable to most of you.

OK, I have been wondering what motivated you to post over and over here with accusations of what you passionately believe MUST occurred. Now I understand. You’re also probably really worried about pizza gate and satanic Hollywood child abuse conspiracies, huh? Are you concerned about whether Bendann was harvesting adrenochrome? I hear they keep a pitcher of it in the teachers’ lounge.

Nobody normalized this behavior, you loon. Nobody thinks it’s no big deal. And there’s zero proof that anyone covered it up except the perpetrator. If an investigation finds otherwise, we will know. But right now your q-hysterics are helping no one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For sure if the school administration knew there was a rapist among them, that would be an issue.

Gilman outright failed to report rumors of faculty giving the boys alcohol. They can absolutely be sued for that. They have a legal obligation to report anything like that. Talk with your sons, people, even if they were former students there. This can easily escalate into a huge lawsuit and payouts, considering the perp was there for 15 years.

Well, first you’d have to prove that they actually knew about it, not “they must have known”.

If they were culpable, they should pay. But people are very naive to believe that an abuser can’t conceal abuse. They can, and do.

All it takes is one parent to report to detectives that they had asked a school employee if they heard about the kids getting booze from Chris. It’s already happened. At that instant school was legally required to contact police.

Again, you seem to be confusing civil and criminal liability. The police are going to be focused on locating victims and getting their story, not possible negligence by the school.

Teachers and admin are mandated reporters and can be prosecuted for failing to report.

Mandated reporting applies to physical or sexual abuse, or neglect. While giving booze to minors is illegal, there is no legal mandate for reporting

If Gilman faculty were legally required to report every instance they knew of adults giving alcohol to students, there would be a lot of Roland Park parents getting reported every Monday after hosting parties for their kid and friends over the weekend

Cops will determine who at Gilman participated in the cover-up of the rape of the boys. It had been going on for years and years. Perp figured he could keep doing it for another 15 years as long as the board would continue with business as usual.

Okay, you’ve made up a whole story. IF Gilman covered it up, they should be held accountable. There’s zero evidence so far that they did. Let’s wait until there’s some actual evidence before going nuts about a coverup, okay?

Again, the detectives will figure out how this went on for 15 years. Check your comprehension. They know that men don’t turn into pedophiles overnight. He was a pedophiles the day Gilman hired him at age 23. Just ask anyone knowledgeable in this field. We’ll never know how many boys suffered sex abuse at that school. It’s a real tragedy. Fifteen years is a long time to carry on with something like this. But who knows, maybe they’ll decide his pedophilia suddenly came out of no where just last year, and there are no other victims.
On the other hand, news reports said boyS were forced to run naked in the park. Can you imagine?

Wow, that’s a lot of words to say “since I don’t have proof, I’m going to perseverate on what I think must have been the case”. Proof will come, or it will not. Your deep conviction proves nothing.

Yet again, detectives will figure things out.

So will the civil lawyers who get access to the emails and notes about this guy over the years. Shit storm is coming.

+1. Highly doubtful they can survive yet another scandal. Students and faculty are searching for alternatives. Shit storm is right.

Oh, for heavens sake. Stop infecting this thread with your repeated hysterical posts about DOOM FOR GILMAN. 3 teachers over a 70 year span doesn’t take down a school like Gilman. Heck, TWENTY teachers didn’t take down Horace Mann. TWENTY.

It’s not minimizing the horror to say: right now, with what we know, this doesn’t define the school. It’s a terrible thing that happened to them, not a terrible thing that they did. If evidence comes out that they did do something terrible in conjunction, well, that will change things. But we’re not there right now so your histrionics are indeed premature.

And I bet you that next year’s admissions will be just as tough as this year’s. They aren’t going to have any trouble filling their classes. And I don’t know where you’re getting your information about students and faculty “searching for alternatives”, but none of the actual Gilman families I know are even considering it.

This. Including that the Gilman family I know well is not considering switching. It’s a great school. It absolutely shaped my son for the better and I’m grateful for it. I don’t believe any one covered up abuse. But I wonder if people in administration knew Bendann was babysitting and didn’t call him out for it. I hope not.

Of course they knew. It’s natural for everyone to be in denial that child rape was going on under their noses, and “no adult had a clue”. Making the kids go completely naked in public is really evil and demented. The boys talked about it with kids from other schools. It was no secret.

When children are sexually assaulted, everything is changed. Everything. Ask any professional. Or course adults knew something very wrong was happening. Yet no one cared enough to put a stop to the systematic sex assault the children.

Most people know there’s a huge effort in some circles to normalize adults having sex with children. It’s nothing but sheer evil to allow this to be done to children. These boys were threatened. The rest of their lives have changed. For many victims, it’ll take decades of pain and shame until they can add their names to the enormous list of victims. Many will go to their graves with the suffering they endured.

Whenever it may happen that any former Gilman student is ready for professional counseling services, the school must be forced to pay for it. With previous sex assaults at Gilman, the school got off having to pay only for the students who were able to immediately come forward at the time of the investigation. Gilman has an ethical obligation to remedy that evil, and pay for counseling whenever any former student is ready to get desperately needed help and support. The damage perpetrated is unfathomable to most of you.

Sex abuse of students simply doesn’t happen for that many years without adults having heard rumors of possible shady dealing. Investigators know that.

School administrators refused to discipline Christopher for spending nights with the students. That was gross negligence for failure of enforcing school policy. This policy had been specifically instituted after the last set of teachers sexually abusing the boys.

This time the school absolutely must be held accountable. No more sweet talking the prosecutors with promises of “new and improved” safeguards from hired predators.

Can anyone here imagine your young son reeking of alcohol just as his teacher drove him home? Parents most certainly would have alerted the school with concerns.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what we actually know… boys have been raped by a teacher who had been there for 15 years. Teacher had been buying the children alcohol. Teacher was forcing the boys to run naked in public. The father of said teacher sat on the school board.

Here’s what any professional working with child sex abuse knows: over the course of 15 years, there have been many, many victims. Perpetrators are relentless with their grooming techniques. Victims often suffer their entire lives trying to cope with the trauma of child sex abuse. They’re often unable to ever establish healthy intimate relationships.

Presumably, parents expressed concern when their children arrived home smelling of alcohol, after getting driven by the teacher. Detectives are investigating.

For 22:09
Everyone knows it’s pretty much near impossible for this to go on for 15 years without anyone knowing anything. Families of neighboring schools are saying “everyone knew”. Kids talk about things like this. I wish someone had to guts to report. People must be held accountable this time. Or the sex abuse will just
keep happening. sp

Everyone knew that he would drive the kids to sports practice over the summer, and that he would house sit. No one knew he was a sexually abusing kids or buying them alcohol. Many of the teachers and heads of school have their own kids there. If it is found out that a certain teacher knew about the sexual abuse they will be terminated. Signed, someone close to the situation

You forgot the overnight babysitting. Everyone knew about that as well. Another Gilman parent. Agree no one knew about the abuse.

It’s just so crazy to me that anyone would trust a male teacher to ‘babysit’ their son overnight. What’s wrong with people?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what we actually know… boys have been raped by a teacher who had been there for 15 years. Teacher had been buying the children alcohol. Teacher was forcing the boys to run naked in public. The father of said teacher sat on the school board.

Here’s what any professional working with child sex abuse knows: over the course of 15 years, there have been many, many victims. Perpetrators are relentless with their grooming techniques. Victims often suffer their entire lives trying to cope with the trauma of child sex abuse. They’re often unable to ever establish healthy intimate relationships.

Presumably, parents expressed concern when their children arrived home smelling of alcohol, after getting driven by the teacher. Detectives are investigating.

For 22:09
Everyone knows it’s pretty much near impossible for this to go on for 15 years without anyone knowing anything. Families of neighboring schools are saying “everyone knew”. Kids talk about things like this. I wish someone had to guts to report. People must be held accountable this time. Or the sex abuse will just
keep happening. sp

Everyone knew that he would drive the kids to sports practice over the summer, and that he would house sit. No one knew he was a sexually abusing kids or buying them alcohol. Many of the teachers and heads of school have their own kids there. If it is found out that a certain teacher knew about the sexual abuse they will be terminated. Signed, someone close to the situation

You forgot the overnight babysitting. Everyone knew about that as well. Another Gilman parent. Agree no one knew about the abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what we actually know… boys have been raped by a teacher who had been there for 15 years. Teacher had been buying the children alcohol. Teacher was forcing the boys to run naked in public. The father of said teacher sat on the school board.

Here’s what any professional working with child sex abuse knows: over the course of 15 years, there have been many, many victims. Perpetrators are relentless with their grooming techniques. Victims often suffer their entire lives trying to cope with the trauma of child sex abuse. They’re often unable to ever establish healthy intimate relationships.

Presumably, parents expressed concern when their children arrived home smelling of alcohol, after getting driven by the teacher. Detectives are investigating.

For 22:09
Everyone knows it’s pretty much near impossible for this to go on for 15 years without anyone knowing anything. Families of neighboring schools are saying “everyone knew”. Kids talk about things like this. I wish someone had to guts to report. People must be held accountable this time. Or the sex abuse will just
keep happening. sp

Everyone knew that he would drive the kids to sports practice over the summer, and that he would house sit. No one knew he was a sexually abusing kids or buying them alcohol. Many of the teachers and heads of school have their own kids there. If it is found out that a certain teacher knew about the sexual abuse they will be terminated. Signed, someone close to the situation