Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has 2 kids who must be constantly watched because they snoop, get into things, break things, draw on walls, tease and hurt our dog, steal, throw things, can be physically aggressive, etc. I don’t know why they’re like this at 7 & 9, but they are. I am not exaggerating. My kids really don’t like them.

I always have to host because no one else will (I have asked, but no one else in my extended family either has the room and/or has a clean house). So every year, and this year being no exception, my sister brings nothing but her kids (and we ask, can she bring some store bought x, y or z, she doesn’t even have to make it herself) and she never does. AND she also does nothing. NOTHING. She does not watch her kids, she knows full well that someone has to watch them. This time because the weather was nice she literally hid outside in my yard for hours playing on her phone.

My husband and I had to cook. My oldest tried to take her cousins to the park where they proceeded to hurt someone’s dog, throw rocks at another kid, scream obscenities at no one in particular, and just be all around nightmares. When they came back to my house they refused all thanksgiving food and only wanted cereal and ice cream and screamed until my sister said ok.

Then when they left, they took ALL the leftovers without telling us. They were super sneaky and when my daughter went into the fridge to get something later she discovered the leftovers we had packed and put away were gone. My sister had literally taken everything with her.

So sometimes the people who expect childcare are 100% freeloaders.

Stop inviting these people. When anyone asks what are the plans for the next holiday, stay silent.

So I invited my mother because my father died recently and she would have been alone. I did not invite my sister. My mother just brought her without telling me she was going to. I also failed to mention my sister asked me for money, twice, but that’s nothing new and part of the reason I don’t interact with her much. But that’s for another thread.

Holy crap what a nightmare. It's hard to pick one thing that's most egregious, but I think it might be taking the leftovers after all the other stuff. How does she get through life? I don't get it. If you invite your mom again, I'd explicitly say your sister isn't invited and be very clear about why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has 2 kids who must be constantly watched because they snoop, get into things, break things, draw on walls, tease and hurt our dog, steal, throw things, can be physically aggressive, etc. I don’t know why they’re like this at 7 & 9, but they are. I am not exaggerating. My kids really don’t like them.

I always have to host because no one else will (I have asked, but no one else in my extended family either has the room and/or has a clean house). So every year, and this year being no exception, my sister brings nothing but her kids (and we ask, can she bring some store bought x, y or z, she doesn’t even have to make it herself) and she never does. AND she also does nothing. NOTHING. She does not watch her kids, she knows full well that someone has to watch them. This time because the weather was nice she literally hid outside in my yard for hours playing on her phone.

My husband and I had to cook. My oldest tried to take her cousins to the park where they proceeded to hurt someone’s dog, throw rocks at another kid, scream obscenities at no one in particular, and just be all around nightmares. When they came back to my house they refused all thanksgiving food and only wanted cereal and ice cream and screamed until my sister said ok.

Then when they left, they took ALL the leftovers without telling us. They were super sneaky and when my daughter went into the fridge to get something later she discovered the leftovers we had packed and put away were gone. My sister had literally taken everything with her.

So sometimes the people who expect childcare are 100% freeloaders.

Stop inviting these people. When anyone asks what are the plans for the next holiday, stay silent.

So I invited my mother because my father died recently and she would have been alone. I did not invite my sister. My mother just brought her without telling me she was going to. I also failed to mention my sister asked me for money, twice, but that’s nothing new and part of the reason I don’t interact with her much. But that’s for another thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has 2 kids who must be constantly watched because they snoop, get into things, break things, draw on walls, tease and hurt our dog, steal, throw things, can be physically aggressive, etc. I don’t know why they’re like this at 7 & 9, but they are. I am not exaggerating. My kids really don’t like them.

I always have to host because no one else will (I have asked, but no one else in my extended family either has the room and/or has a clean house). So every year, and this year being no exception, my sister brings nothing but her kids (and we ask, can she bring some store bought x, y or z, she doesn’t even have to make it herself) and she never does. AND she also does nothing. NOTHING. She does not watch her kids, she knows full well that someone has to watch them. This time because the weather was nice she literally hid outside in my yard for hours playing on her phone.

My husband and I had to cook. My oldest tried to take her cousins to the park where they proceeded to hurt someone’s dog, throw rocks at another kid, scream obscenities at no one in particular, and just be all around nightmares. When they came back to my house they refused all thanksgiving food and only wanted cereal and ice cream and screamed until my sister said ok.

Then when they left, they took ALL the leftovers without telling us. They were super sneaky and when my daughter went into the fridge to get something later she discovered the leftovers we had packed and put away were gone. My sister had literally taken everything with her.

So sometimes the people who expect childcare are 100% freeloaders.

Stop inviting these people. When anyone asks what are the plans for the next holiday, stay silent.

Anonymous wrote:I’m the guest who insults everybody from my single SIL who doesn’t want to babysit my kids, to my deaf uncle Fred, and when confronted I try to pass it off as joking.

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Anonymous wrote:I am the couch you are sleeping on, as the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, since your brother, his wife, and his loud, unruly children have taken over the multiple bedrooms in your parents’ house.

I am the loud, unruly children, with parents who sleep in and then don’t feed us, and instead rely on grandma and the unmarried aunt to do all the child-related stuff all weekend.

I am the hotel reservations made by the 30-something, unmarried, childless aunt, for the next “holiday at home”.

I can see why you are unmarried and childless. You should have been in a hotel this whole time.

You’re ignorant.

Not the quoted app

What an awesome aunt, not even helping a bit and giving parents a break once or twice a year for the holidays. When I was an unmarried aunt, I loved every minute of it and my sister and BIL appreciated that I recognized it was a rare opportunity for them to take a little more time for themselves.

DP. I've never had the chance to be an aunt (SIL and BIL decided against children), but.... some people have really busy lives and need a break themselves. They don't need to spend their vacations babysitting somebody else's kids.

I consider it "payment" for spending the weekend in my home. Don't like it? Get a hotel room.

I hope you are playing along and don’t really personally mean this.

As an aside, as the “poor friend”, I paid my way on many “rich friends” family vacations by babysitting the drug addict brother, bulimic sister, suicidal cousin, demented grandmother, or creepy uncle. The work it entails is never fully acknowledged and in the end the person you are “paying” still feels like they gave you the gift of hospitality rather than you working for it. As a junior in college, I discovered a real work-stay exchange and had an amazing week abroad with well-defined duties and hours, none of which were onerous.

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Moochers get what they get. You can’t contribute in some way? Stay home.

You never have guests. You only have clients. So sad.

No, sweetie, I host family. And in our family, everyone helps. No one sits around like a Princess who expects endless cooking, cleaning, shopping, and entertaining without so much as bringing a bottle of wine and playing one board game with nieces and nephews.

Sweetie, I’m the aunt in the original scenario and we were not at my brother and SIL’s house. And the only ones who were acting like a Prince and Princess were my brother and SIL, who, when visiting my parents sit around, expect everyone else to do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, entertaining, and child-minding simply because they deigned to bring their children to our parents’ house. Of course my parents had every right to give me the couch and the children a room, but that meant I just dealt with it next time by staying in a hotel and leaving them to deal with the kids alone in the morning. Also, I did plenty with my nieces and nephews, despite never being asked or thanked.

Still not quite sure why you’re so cranky about my sucky family dynamics. Also still not quite sure why I’m trying to clarify. Those are the perils of a long weekend with too much “free time” I suppose…

It’s like you don’t think your nieces and nephews are part of your family.

DP. Are you my SIL and BIL who get mad at their parents and siblings for not providing babysitting coverage for their whole visit, because they think parenthood somehow bestows on them the right to relax with multiple glasses of wine the whole time? Also because their kid is so special (more special than our kids, apparently), that anybody would be lucky to spend a whole day in their company.

Otherwise it’s hard to figure out why you’re so invested in this.

I posted about it twice and only because it sounds like she doesn’t like the kids, not sure why you’re so defensive?

Still not sure you can comprehend what I’ve written. I like the kids just fine. It’s their parents that I don’t particularly like. The kids are kids, but who repeatedly never lift a finger when visiting are jerks. My only guess is that you also think you’re one of those adults.

Oh, I know. You’re my dad who has a grown son who never thinks of anyone’s needs or wants but his own, and instead of realizing you might have messed up, you’re blaming your eldest daughter for setting boundaries. You can’t be my mom, because she’s finally seen how selfish you and your wife are and have given up on you providing any support as she ages.

How many of you crazy aunts are there???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the person you hate. I invite our dear friends over with their young DD who adorably plays with our DD. I prepared everything the day before. I dry brined the turkey and deconstructed it on Tuesday, so it cooked in about 2 ours, rested, and was super moist, and super flavorful, and so was everything else. I talked to spouse's parents briefly (they interrupted their close attention to staring at the walls to speak to us. They had to heat up the stovetop after raking the leaves from the yard that is more important than their granddaughter; my parents are dead). I made a delicious dinner, spouse decorated the table splendidly, and we spent the day and evening laughing with our friends. I found the lack of drama, and the food, to be blissful. I am an ass for reading all of these posts and cringing, for I lived many of these toils and troubles, but they are distant memories. I (and my wife) made choices and we now reap the benefits. I bid you strength to do what you think can't be done, and not put yourself through the hell for the sake of "family."

Aside from your insufferable smugness, why should we hate you for establishing boundaries in your life?

Anonymous wrote:My sister has 2 kids who must be constantly watched because they snoop, get into things, break things, draw on walls, tease and hurt our dog, steal, throw things, can be physically aggressive, etc. I don’t know why they’re like this at 7 & 9, but they are. I am not exaggerating. My kids really don’t like them.

I always have to host because no one else will (I have asked, but no one else in my extended family either has the room and/or has a clean house). So every year, and this year being no exception, my sister brings nothing but her kids (and we ask, can she bring some store bought x, y or z, she doesn’t even have to make it herself) and she never does. AND she also does nothing. NOTHING. She does not watch her kids, she knows full well that someone has to watch them. This time because the weather was nice she literally hid outside in my yard for hours playing on her phone.

My husband and I had to cook. My oldest tried to take her cousins to the park where they proceeded to hurt someone’s dog, throw rocks at another kid, scream obscenities at no one in particular, and just be all around nightmares. When they came back to my house they refused all thanksgiving food and only wanted cereal and ice cream and screamed until my sister said ok.

Then when they left, they took ALL the leftovers without telling us. They were super sneaky and when my daughter went into the fridge to get something later she discovered the leftovers we had packed and put away were gone. My sister had literally taken everything with her.

So sometimes the people who expect childcare are 100% freeloaders.

Anonymous wrote:My sister has 2 kids who must be constantly watched because they snoop, get into things, break things, draw on walls, tease and hurt our dog, steal, throw things, can be physically aggressive, etc. I don’t know why they’re like this at 7 & 9, but they are. I am not exaggerating. My kids really don’t like them.

I always have to host because no one else will (I have asked, but no one else in my extended family either has the room and/or has a clean house). So every year, and this year being no exception, my sister brings nothing but her kids (and we ask, can she bring some store bought x, y or z, she doesn’t even have to make it herself) and she never does. AND she also does nothing. NOTHING. She does not watch her kids, she knows full well that someone has to watch them. This time because the weather was nice she literally hid outside in my yard for hours playing on her phone.

My husband and I had to cook. My oldest tried to take her cousins to the park where they proceeded to hurt someone’s dog, throw rocks at another kid, scream obscenities at no one in particular, and just be all around nightmares. When they came back to my house they refused all thanksgiving food and only wanted cereal and ice cream and screamed until my sister said ok.

Then when they left, they took ALL the leftovers without telling us. They were super sneaky and when my daughter went into the fridge to get something later she discovered the leftovers we had packed and put away were gone. My sister had literally taken everything with her.

So sometimes the people who expect childcare are 100% freeloaders.

Anonymous wrote:
So sometimes the people who expect childcare are 100% freeloaders.