Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 19:42     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:Just got one last night.

My oldest just graduated hs and has of course gotten a lot of attention this past month. Plus the fact that I am in full on "I can't believe my little baby is a grown man who is going to college out of state" mode.

A friend at dinner mentioned "So X is graduating! Wow!" and my other very good friend said "Maybe now that X is leaving 15yoson will finally get some attention" referencing my other son.

We've raised all our kids differently according to their needs. 15yo is on the spectrum, much quieter, and loathes PDA and we respect that. He gets lots of attn at home, especially since the grad is much more social and has a gf, ie, he is almost never home. I've also had another child who has had some severe mental health issues the past year who thereby has demanded more attention than the others. Raising more than one teen is a serious balancing act.

She knows all this. So for her to say that - it stung.



OT, but is it a thing for autistic kids to loathe PDA and be more quiet?
And I'm sorry, that is crappy.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 19:35     Subject: Re:What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:If your kids were misbehaving enough on the metro someone said something to you, it’s time to take stock. I guarantee after you got out the rest of the car was talking about how awful you and your kids are.


Oh wow, the poster who got the pregnant idiot to simmer down must feel foolish now! Everyone else on the Red Line became instant BFFs forever and ever bonding over a mom who couldn’t immediately solve a tantrumming child issue!

I’m not that poster and my DC rarely got that way but I admire her retort to the pregnant woman.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 18:34     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Just got one last night.

My oldest just graduated hs and has of course gotten a lot of attention this past month. Plus the fact that I am in full on "I can't believe my little baby is a grown man who is going to college out of state" mode.

A friend at dinner mentioned "So X is graduating! Wow!" and my other very good friend said "Maybe now that X is leaving 15yoson will finally get some attention" referencing my other son.

We've raised all our kids differently according to their needs. 15yo is on the spectrum, much quieter, and loathes PDA and we respect that. He gets lots of attn at home, especially since the grad is much more social and has a gf, ie, he is almost never home. I've also had another child who has had some severe mental health issues the past year who thereby has demanded more attention than the others. Raising more than one teen is a serious balancing act.

She knows all this. So for her to say that - it stung.

Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 11:49     Subject: Re:What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:If your kids were misbehaving enough on the metro someone said something to you, it’s time to take stock. I guarantee after you got out the rest of the car was talking about how awful you and your kids are.

Rubbish. Some people just feel the need to be mean and superior for no reason.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 10:58     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son was having a major meltdown on the metro after work one day, and a pregnant woman looked at me and said, “my child will never behave like that.”

It had been a bad day, after a bad week, and I was exhausted.


The exact same thing happened to me. At that point I’ve already decided to drop my filters with perfect strangers. I told her she may yet have a stillborn so let’s not get cocky. She almost sat down. I told her it would teach her to stop saying stupid shit to complete strangers and exited.


That’s hilarious. I appreciate you. People on metro are often intolerant dicks. Even the pregnant ladies. I hope she didn’t swallow too many flies and learned her lesson (though I doubt it).


So you are an actual a hole then. Not only do you let your kid bother other riders on a train but then you hurl deeply offensive insults at the strangers that you were already bothering. What a jerk.

I don’t have filters with strangers either so if the kid is being an out of control monster then I will say so. Don’t like it? Keep your own kids to themselves then.


That is a horrible thing to say to someone. I mean, I'm not against fighting fire with fire but this is just unnecessarily cruel.

People who make mean comments to others shouldn’t be surprised if they get it back.


And this is exactly why our country (and much of our world) is so violent and so angry. You don't have to return an unkind comment with an unkind comment. All you are doing is feeding the bully. You are much better off saying "Wow, that was really hurtful". Let them feel shame instead of anger.


Or, you could just say - what child? You have a child? And then feign surprise when she points to her bump and say oh, I thought you were just fat. Congratulations, I guess.


This legitimately made me laugh out loud.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 10:51     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
"COViD is not a big deal for kids, it's only those with medical conditions that can die or get sick"

Stares in parent of a high risk child
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 10:49     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:My ex just told me I am disgusting and blamed cancelling her one night a month of visitation on me because I wont get a PCR test. I have no exposure, am ALL the vaxxed and asymptomatic.


Just get the damned test. Unless you are home alone you don't know your exposure
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 10:48     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
1. How much do you charge for nannying since I can see you treat your charge like your own child (it was MY child, our skin color just doesn't match).

2. "ha ha ha, if she doesn't behave I guess you can always send her back". (in front of my adopted child)
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 10:14     Subject: Re:What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Why isn't your child dressed more warmly?" Yes, he was underdressed for the chilly day. Yes, I told him to dress more warmly. No, he wasn't cold, because I asked him repeatedly.

And I'm a dad, so it's a mix of condescending criticism like that, because obviously dads are idiots, and the over-the-top compliments for basically just being there, because, Wow! A dad taking care of his kids!


LOL be grateful you've never encountered Russian grandmas. Every time you leave the house with a small child, there's like a platoon of them outside interrogating everyone on where is the baby's hat and socks and scarf why is his neck showing he must be hungry/cold/bothered....all to complete strangers Americans are downright gentle after that treatment to me....


Older German women are like that as well. My child was apparently always underdressed.



LOL, I clicked on this thread and was going to post this exact same experience. I had no idea, thank you!
Does anyone know of cultures where it's the norm for strangers to try to pressure the mother into handing the baby to them to hold? Or for strangers to try to comfort a crying child in front of the mother?


Yes. This is a common cultural trait in northern European societies that have a strong communal outlook. It is common for Dutch babies to be left outside of a store in the pram while they sleep because everyone is looking out for one another.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 06:13     Subject: Re:What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Why isn't your child dressed more warmly?" Yes, he was underdressed for the chilly day. Yes, I told him to dress more warmly. No, he wasn't cold, because I asked him repeatedly.

And I'm a dad, so it's a mix of condescending criticism like that, because obviously dads are idiots, and the over-the-top compliments for basically just being there, because, Wow! A dad taking care of his kids!


LOL be grateful you've never encountered Russian grandmas. Every time you leave the house with a small child, there's like a platoon of them outside interrogating everyone on where is the baby's hat and socks and scarf why is his neck showing he must be hungry/cold/bothered....all to complete strangers Americans are downright gentle after that treatment to me....


Older German women are like that as well. My child was apparently always underdressed.



LOL, I clicked on this thread and was going to post this exact same experience. I had no idea, thank you!
Does anyone know of cultures where it's the norm for strangers to try to pressure the mother into handing the baby to them to hold? Or for strangers to try to comfort a crying child in front of the mother?
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 02:13     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son was having a major meltdown on the metro after work one day, and a pregnant woman looked at me and said, “my child will never behave like that.”

It had been a bad day, after a bad week, and I was exhausted.


The exact same thing happened to me. At that point I’ve already decided to drop my filters with perfect strangers. I told her she may yet have a stillborn so let’s not get cocky. She almost sat down. I told her it would teach her to stop saying stupid shit to complete strangers and exited.


That’s hilarious. I appreciate you. People on metro are often intolerant dicks. Even the pregnant ladies. I hope she didn’t swallow too many flies and learned her lesson (though I doubt it).


So you are an actual a hole then. Not only do you let your kid bother other riders on a train but then you hurl deeply offensive insults at the strangers that you were already bothering. What a jerk.

I don’t have filters with strangers either so if the kid is being an out of control monster then I will say so. Don’t like it? Keep your own kids to themselves then.


That is a horrible thing to say to someone. I mean, I'm not against fighting fire with fire but this is just unnecessarily cruel.

People who make mean comments to others shouldn’t be surprised if they get it back.


And this is exactly why our country (and much of our world) is so violent and so angry. You don't have to return an unkind comment with an unkind comment. All you are doing is feeding the bully. You are much better off saying "Wow, that was really hurtful". Let them feel shame instead of anger.


Bullies don’t feel shame—they enjoy making other people feel bad because they are self-centered and lack empathy. Bullies need people to stand up to them.


exactly


Agree, and I’m glad that the pregnant woman stood up to the self-centered mother who lacks empathy.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2022 01:51     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son was having a major meltdown on the metro after work one day, and a pregnant woman looked at me and said, “my child will never behave like that.”

It had been a bad day, after a bad week, and I was exhausted.


The exact same thing happened to me. At that point I’ve already decided to drop my filters with perfect strangers. I told her she may yet have a stillborn so let’s not get cocky. She almost sat down. I told her it would teach her to stop saying stupid shit to complete strangers and exited.


That’s hilarious. I appreciate you. People on metro are often intolerant dicks. Even the pregnant ladies. I hope she didn’t swallow too many flies and learned her lesson (though I doubt it).


So you are an actual a hole then. Not only do you let your kid bother other riders on a train but then you hurl deeply offensive insults at the strangers that you were already bothering. What a jerk.

I don’t have filters with strangers either so if the kid is being an out of control monster then I will say so. Don’t like it? Keep your own kids to themselves then.


That is a horrible thing to say to someone. I mean, I'm not against fighting fire with fire but this is just unnecessarily cruel.

People who make mean comments to others shouldn’t be surprised if they get it back.


And this is exactly why our country (and much of our world) is so violent and so angry. You don't have to return an unkind comment with an unkind comment. All you are doing is feeding the bully. You are much better off saying "Wow, that was really hurtful". Let them feel shame instead of anger.


Bullies don’t feel shame—they enjoy making other people feel bad because they are self-centered and lack empathy. Bullies need people to stand up to them.



exactly
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2022 22:35     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:My ex just told me I am disgusting and blamed cancelling her one night a month of visitation on me because I wont get a PCR test. I have no exposure, am ALL the vaxxed and asymptomatic.


Just get the damn test and be the bigger person for your kids. It will serve you better in the long run.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2022 21:55     Subject: Re:What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
My mom: you didn’t have natural childbirth (planned c-sect due to high risk medical issues), so you didn’t really experience real pain or real childbirth. Water broke well before epidural was placed.

SIL: Oh, this is the backwards house (DH stayed home/worked part-time and I worked full time)

Former co-worker: While showing my newborn baby’s pics, she says, “Did your kids have different dads?” One kid looks like me (brown) and the other looks like their dad (white). We weren’t close friends.

Any mother that has ever judged me for not breastfeeding and felt the need to tell me about it.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2022 19:34     Subject: What’s the worst thing another mother ever said to you?
Anonymous wrote:I’ll include mine in a bit (I don’t want this to be about my worst thing specifically)


An ATS mother, when my child got it: "I'm not sure it's the right fit for Larlo and Larla". Oh ffs. It's a public school and they're doing great!