Grandparents gave us money that we invested. It’s enough now for in state. If oldest kid wants to go elsewhere, they will have to get merit scholarship or tuition exchange.

Sadly, going to state flagship is no longer a sure thing. Very competitive.

Kids can’t pay for it in their own now. It costs too much. Do the math between when you went to school and now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn’t save. We prioritize our retirement funds. However, DH made it a goal to work in a university early on to get free college tuition for my DD. He did get a job at a university so my DD’s tuition will be covered. We just have to cough up board/lodging since she doesn’t want to commute. Our house is 30 minutes away.

My husband works at a university so this is an option for our kids as well, but only at his school, which is not a particularly big name, competitive, or highly resourced school. There is no guarantee of tuition remission at any other schools, although they can apply for tuition exchange with a group of similarly ranked schools in a consortium. So...it's an ok benefit if kid wants to go there, but not like what my nephews are getting from their parents working at Carnegie Mellon, which is full tuition there and half anywhere else.

We tend to save windfalls and tax refunds into the 529s, but our HHI is around 150k and we have one in day care, it's just not reasonable to expect to save enough for full pay at a private school. So we do what we can, but consider state schools, less renowned schools with tuition exchange, and limited loans to be possibilities to add to the mix.

My DH’s university benefits where he’s employed include college tuition exchange program. I didn’t realize there are tons of good solid schools there across the country. I’m sure you’ll find several to consider. It will save tons of money. College costs nowadays are ridiculous. One really has to crank up the numbers if the cost is a good ROI - Return of Investment.

It looks good on paper. It’s a different story trying to actually get a spot.

We plan to tell our kids we’ll cover in state costs and encourage them to go to the state flagship. We both went that route (with free tuition, thanks to a generous state scholarship program). Hope to move back to that state for other reasons but would also be great for our kids to follow in our footsteps.

OMG, I looked at the Vanguard cost calculator and it's a little shocking, it says to pay full in state tuition, room, and board for two kids we need to be saving almost $900 more a month. We have about $1000-1500 disposable income per month (for stuff like clothes, kid activities and entertainment, school supplies, home repairs and goods, donations, etc), there's no way we could eliminate all but $100 of that. I don't think we're massively overspending on an HHI of $150k, we're saving 1/3 of it for retirement and take home less than 50%, it's just a lot of money! At least we know we can cash flow part of it since we're paying for day care now, but i am not sure we can do 100%, especially if my kids aren't interested in state schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your income? Where I live public universities are 40k per year and there is no merit. So you must save. Although it is free to those who earn under $80k a year, I believe.

This. What MC family has 3,000/month in their budget for state college? We got started very late, but shocking away what we can now.

Plus, private colleges are starting to not accept student loans. Are state colleges next? Refusing to accept student loans is horrible for lower middle class to middle class kids. I saw some school had max HHI of 125k? That's real poor here with kids.

Real middle class don’t here. It’s the fake middle class. We managed to save a lot on that low salary but it was out priory.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your income? Where I live public universities are 40k per year and there is no merit. So you must save. Although it is free to those who earn under $80k a year, I believe.

This. What MC family has 3,000/month in their budget for state college? We got started very late, but shocking away what we can now.

Plus, private colleges are starting to not accept student loans. Are state colleges next? Refusing to accept student loans is horrible for lower middle class to middle class kids. I saw some school had max HHI of 125k? That's real poor here with kids.

I know that students can’t get loans, but are you saying private colleges aren’t accepting parent loans?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think community college makes sense for a lot of students but I think what is discouraging is that it has become the ONLY affordable option for many. My dad and his siblings worked their way through college (some private, some state universities) working minimum wage jobs in the summer and part-time during the school year. You simply can't do that now when in-state universities can cost $30k for tuition + room/board. The options keep shrinking.

https://www.intelligent.com/1970-v-2020-how-working-through-college-has-changed/#:~:text=Fast%2Dforward%20to%202020.,the%20rest%20of%20the%20year.

You can make a big dent by working full time while you’re going to school. Minimum wage gets you $33k a year. When I was in college, minimum wage got you $5800 a year and tuition plus room and board were about the same. People act like we had it so much better but we really didn’t. Even back then some of us made good decisions and others didn’t.

This said, I don’t want my kids to have to struggle the way I did so I’m prepared to pay but, given that none of mine needs a special program (they aren’t brilliant or driven in a narrow direction), it’s not a free for all. Small private colleges are not on our list.

That’s not reasonable.

Also, working your way through college isn’t really feasible anymore.

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/04/the-myth-of-working-your-way-through-college/359735/

But you can still do a large portion of it if you pick the right college. I live in a state where the #2/#3 "state universities" are all in for ~$25K/year and there are 2 other State universities that cost even less (but are probably 3rd tier schools---where the avg SAT is 1050/980). Minimum wage is over $14/hr as well. So if a kid works summer and breaks they can earn $10-12K (work 2 jobs to get up to 50-60 hours and earn more). Work 10-15 hours per week during the school year and the student alone can earn ~$15K towards school. That leaves $5K in loans and another $5K to figure out. Sure it's not the easiest, but it wasn't the easiest when I did it earning $4/hr when I went to college. So as long as the student can live at home when not at college and is physically able to work (and get to work---our area has an amazing bus system), then a good college without much debt is possible. It just might not be the dream plan you had in mind (of 4 years without working)

Point is, there are state schools and others that only cost $20-25K. and those are good schools, just not Tip Top/elite/T50. Need to save even more, attend CC for first 2 years at a cost of $5K /year. Just need transportation--my area has at least 15CC within the 3 hour metropolitan area. So live at home and do CC for first 2 years, or even better if kid is award finances are a real issue, they can take Running start last 2 years of HS and get their AA degree and HS diploma for only the cost of books. So that wipes out 2 years of college at CC, it's only cost of books. Then in 2-2.5 years you can have your BS/BA from a state university. There are ways to do this. Also you could pick a 2nd tier LA/private university that gives good merit and you are at the 90-95% for scores and get a full scholarship/near full merit award.
Yes, it might not be at a T20 or T40 school, but there are plenty of great schools that can be affordable. But the kid needs to know their true financial position in Soph/jr year of HS so they can develop the best list to make college affordable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poster was trying to be cleaver and hide the money for financial aid. The entire situation makes zero sense to hand over money for them to get minimal tax savings to save for the kids. Your kids come first. Very greedy to expect financial aid when you can afford to pay.

Yup and the poster got indignant when called out in her failed greedy attempts. I love that she was the one who got screwed in the end.

I don't even understand this. Why didn't she just open additional accounts for each child and fund that with $4K per year. The deduction is per account, not per child.

PP here. Obviously my primary objective wasn't to maximize savings for my kids using only my own resources. As noted, I could have easliy opened multiple accounts per child and gotten my own, additional VA tax breaks. My objective was to empower my parents to engage as caring and involved grandparents...for the sake of my children, for them to grow up with fond memories of and a positive relationship with their grandparents. DH's parents passed away many years ago.

Unfortunately, I basically need to pay or give something to my parents for them to express any sort of care or concern for their only grandchildren. It has been this way for 17 years. For instance, they joined us on vacation 3-4 times over the years but ONLY when we paid their way AND we ensured they had the nicest first class seats, the biggest of the hotel rooms or suites, and recognition in front of their friends and neighbors as the ones sponsoring the trips, even though they never did. This was normal – mandated by them as an appropriate sign of respect to one's parents and elders – and so was giving them $$$ every year so they could turn around one day and help pay for their grandchildren's college expenses, like all good grandparents should want to do. Just didn't think they would liquidate it all and leave their grandkids in a lurch.

Uh… I would never ask my parents to fund my children’s college education.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--Yes, you're horrible parents. We saved 100% of college costs and paid for everything for all of our kids. Why did you have kids in the first place if you're not paying for college?

NP- what a classist argument. So only people who can afford to put their kids through college should have children? This is why our birth rate is abysmal. OP makes 105k a year. How are they going to fully fund college?

Not "classist," just smart, accomplished, practical and empathetic.

None of those words apply to the idea that only rich people should be having kids.

She never said that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think community college makes sense for a lot of students but I think what is discouraging is that it has become the ONLY affordable option for many. My dad and his siblings worked their way through college (some private, some state universities) working minimum wage jobs in the summer and part-time during the school year. You simply can't do that now when in-state universities can cost $30k for tuition + room/board. The options keep shrinking.

https://www.intelligent.com/1970-v-2020-how-working-through-college-has-changed/#:~:text=Fast%2Dforward%20to%202020.,the%20rest%20of%20the%20year.

You can make a big dent by working full time while you’re going to school. Minimum wage gets you $33k a year. When I was in college, minimum wage got you $5800 a year and tuition plus room and board were about the same. People act like we had it so much better but we really didn’t. Even back then some of us made good decisions and others didn’t.

This said, I don’t want my kids to have to struggle the way I did so I’m prepared to pay but, given that none of mine needs a special program (they aren’t brilliant or driven in a narrow direction), it’s not a free for all. Small private colleges are not on our list.

That’s not reasonable.

Also, working your way through college isn’t really feasible anymore.

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/04/the-myth-of-working-your-way-through-college/359735/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poster was trying to be cleaver and hide the money for financial aid. The entire situation makes zero sense to hand over money for them to get minimal tax savings to save for the kids. Your kids come first. Very greedy to expect financial aid when you can afford to pay.

Yup and the poster got indignant when called out in her failed greedy attempts. I love that she was the one who got screwed in the end.

I don't even understand this. Why didn't she just open additional accounts for each child and fund that with $4K per year. The deduction is per account, not per child.

PP here. Obviously my primary objective wasn't to maximize savings for my kids using only my own resources. As noted, I could have easliy opened multiple accounts per child and gotten my own, additional VA tax breaks. My objective was to empower my parents to engage as caring and involved grandparents...for the sake of my children, for them to grow up with fond memories of and a positive relationship with their grandparents. DH's parents passed away many years ago.

Unfortunately, I basically need to pay or give something to my parents for them to express any sort of care or concern for their only grandchildren. It has been this way for 17 years. For instance, they joined us on vacation 3-4 times over the years but ONLY when we paid their way AND we ensured they had the nicest first class seats, the biggest of the hotel rooms or suites, and recognition in front of their friends and neighbors as the ones sponsoring the trips, even though they never did. This was normal – mandated by them as an appropriate sign of respect to one's parents and elders – and so was giving them $$$ every year so they could turn around one day and help pay for their grandchildren's college expenses, like all good grandparents should want to do. Just didn't think they would liquidate it all and leave their grandkids in a lurch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--Yes, you're horrible parents. We saved 100% of college costs and paid for everything for all of our kids. Why did you have kids in the first place if you're not paying for college?

NP- what a classist argument. So only people who can afford to put their kids through college should have children? This is why our birth rate is abysmal. OP makes 105k a year. How are they going to fully fund college?

Not "classist," just smart, accomplished, practical and empathetic.

You mean elitist and self righteous, and lacking in emotional IQ and empathy.

And it's "empathic," not empathetic lol. Empathic cannot be merged with sympathetic. Got to pick 1.

Anonymous wrote:What’s your income? Where I live public universities are 40k per year and there is no merit. So you must save. Although it is free to those who earn under $80k a year, I believe.

This. What MC family has 3,000/month in their budget for state college? We got started very late, but shocking away what we can now.

Plus, private colleges are starting to not accept student loans. Are state colleges next? Refusing to accept student loans is horrible for lower middle class to middle class kids. I saw some school had max HHI of 125k? That's real poor here with kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think community college makes sense for a lot of students but I think what is discouraging is that it has become the ONLY affordable option for many. My dad and his siblings worked their way through college (some private, some state universities) working minimum wage jobs in the summer and part-time during the school year. You simply can't do that now when in-state universities can cost $30k for tuition + room/board. The options keep shrinking.

https://www.intelligent.com/1970-v-2020-how-working-through-college-has-changed/#:~:text=Fast%2Dforward%20to%202020.,the%20rest%20of%20the%20year.

You can make a big dent by working full time while you’re going to school. Minimum wage gets you $33k a year. When I was in college, minimum wage got you $5800 a year and tuition plus room and board were about the same. People act like we had it so much better but we really didn’t. Even back then some of us made good decisions and others didn’t.

This said, I don’t want my kids to have to struggle the way I did so I’m prepared to pay but, given that none of mine needs a special program (they aren’t brilliant or driven in a narrow direction), it’s not a free for all. Small private colleges are not on our list.

Minimum wage jobs are really hard to reconcile with school today, particularly in service work environments. They generally don't guarantee full time hours (so no $33k a year) because they have to provide benefits after 20 or 30 depending on state law. They also change up schedules on a weekly basis, you can't block out class time. This may be different than when you were in co.lege.

I don’t think so. They type of jobs I worked in college are available today and still shift work with regular schedules. But you are right that certain industries only give part time hours and change up schedules weekly. Those jobs were part time without regular schedules back in my college days as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think community college makes sense for a lot of students but I think what is discouraging is that it has become the ONLY affordable option for many. My dad and his siblings worked their way through college (some private, some state universities) working minimum wage jobs in the summer and part-time during the school year. You simply can't do that now when in-state universities can cost $30k for tuition + room/board. The options keep shrinking.

https://www.intelligent.com/1970-v-2020-how-working-through-college-has-changed/#:~:text=Fast%2Dforward%20to%202020.,the%20rest%20of%20the%20year.

You can make a big dent by working full time while you’re going to school. Minimum wage gets you $33k a year. When I was in college, minimum wage got you $5800 a year and tuition plus room and board were about the same. People act like we had it so much better but we really didn’t. Even back then some of us made good decisions and others didn’t.

This said, I don’t want my kids to have to struggle the way I did so I’m prepared to pay but, given that none of mine needs a special program (they aren’t brilliant or driven in a narrow direction), it’s not a free for all. Small private colleges are not on our list.

Minimum wage jobs are really hard to reconcile with school today, particularly in service work environments. They generally don't guarantee full time hours (so no $33k a year) because they have to provide benefits after 20 or 30 depending on state law. They also change up schedules on a weekly basis, you can't block out class time. This may be different than when you were in co.lege.