Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 13:41     Subject: Re:No kids wedding...except there were kids.
We did this. We have huge families and wanted all our siblings to be able to come and wanted our nieces and nephews to be there. But our venue had a strict limit on the number of people. So we told all our other, non-family guests no kids because otherwise if we'd gotten to many "yes" responses we would have been over the limit and I would have then had to retroactively asked people not to bring their kids. It was logistically challenging.

I still wind up feeling randomly guilty about this because I know it was a hardship for people but I also can't see how else we might have done it. If all our friends with kids had brought them, we would have had to invite fewer friends. We also worked hard to accommodate any of our single friends who wanted to bring a date to our wedding. We wanted to make everyone happy. But we had budget and space constraints. We did the best we could.

Sometimes wedding are inconvenient. You are always welcome to just decline the invitation.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 13:33     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:I can see being reasonably annoyed about this if you were like the bride's sister and the groom's family's kids all got invited. But then it's not really a no kids issue at all.


I can see being annoyed if your child is older and wanted to go to the wedding and/or knows some of the kids there. Everyone is assuming that OP’s child is a toddler, but there is a pretty big age gap between “toddler” and “old enough to spend the evening in a hotel room alone.”
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 13:00     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
I can see being reasonably annoyed about this if you were like the bride's sister and the groom's family's kids all got invited. But then it's not really a no kids issue at all.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 00:31     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We had a no kids wedding. We also had a 4yo flower girl, 7yo ring bearer, and 12yo "junior usher". I don't know anyone who counts participants in the actual wedding party against the "no kids" rule.

I had a cousin who raised a stink about it. But her main issue was that I chose to use the son of my lifelong best friend as my ring bearer instead of her son. My cousin and I aren't even remotely close...she was invited to the wedding to appease my mother. My best friend is like a sister to me. No brainer.


No. A no kids wedding means no kids at all and this includes the wedding party.


Wrong.


+1. Seriously wondering if this pp has ever been to a wedding. Flower girls and ring bearers are typically children related to the bride and groom. They are very commonly at weddings. Their attendance does not mean all guests can bring along their kids. Is this not something everyone knows?



It might be normal for you, but not everyone on this message board was born and raised in your culture.


Are you under the impression that OP is not familiar with American wedding customs? That she has not seen media or movies that show American weddings? That she, a DC urban mom, has no idea what an American wedding entails?


This level of entitlement feels very American white lady to me.

But yes, OP, it’s normal. Sorry you had to get a sitter.


Racist much?
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 00:29     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We had a no kids wedding. We also had a 4yo flower girl, 7yo ring bearer, and 12yo "junior usher". I don't know anyone who counts participants in the actual wedding party against the "no kids" rule.

I had a cousin who raised a stink about it. But her main issue was that I chose to use the son of my lifelong best friend as my ring bearer instead of her son. My cousin and I aren't even remotely close...she was invited to the wedding to appease my mother. My best friend is like a sister to me. No brainer.


No. A no kids wedding means no kids at all and this includes the wedding party.


Wrong.


+1. Seriously wondering if this pp has ever been to a wedding. Flower girls and ring bearers are typically children related to the bride and groom. They are very commonly at weddings. Their attendance does not mean all guests can bring along their kids. Is this not something everyone knows?


You’re a spirit kind of clueless
It might be normal for you, but not everyone on this message board was born and raised in your culture.


Are you under the impression that OP is not familiar with American wedding customs? That she has not seen media or movies that show American weddings? That she, a DC urban mom, has no idea what an American wedding entails?


This level of entitlement feels very American white lady to me.

But yes, OP, it’s normal. Sorry you had to get a sitter.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 00:15     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We just had someone add kids names and meals to the RSVP card. Had to contact them to say the kids were not included. They retracted their response card. (Oh well).

If all of the first and second cousins’ children were invited, it would add at least 50 kids.


Wow. That is next level rude.


+1. Hopefully they were just totally ignorant new parents and they learned from the experience! If not, that level of entitlement is ridiculous
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 00:09     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:We just had someone add kids names and meals to the RSVP card. Had to contact them to say the kids were not included. They retracted their response card. (Oh well).

If all of the first and second cousins’ children were invited, it would add at least 50 kids.


Wow. That is next level rude.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 00:08     Subject: Re:No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:If I could do it over again (my wedding was 10 years ago), I would have explicitly invited kids. I remember going to family weddings as a kid and thinking the bride was a princess and that eating cake and dancing and staying up a little late was the most magical thing in the world. We had one kid crash our wedding and some of my favorite photos are with her on the dance floor. I think brides get so caught up in trying to be classy or formal and it’s not what you remember many years later.


I was taken to multiple weddings. The dress was itchy, the shoes uncomfortable, the night was boring and seemed to go on forever.

Brides aren't trying to be "classy or formal." It is THEIR wedding. Get a damn sitter or send regrets. Its very simple.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2022 00:02     Subject: Re:No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I could do it over again (my wedding was 10 years ago), I would have explicitly invited kids. I remember going to family weddings as a kid and thinking the bride was a princess and that eating cake and dancing and staying up a little late was the most magical thing in the world. We had one kid crash our wedding and some of my favorite photos are with her on the dance floor. I think brides get so caught up in trying to be classy or formal and it’s not what you remember many years later.


Or they just really like kids and don't want bands of them flying through what is one of the biggest and potentially most expensive days of their life. I had a no kids wedding and no regrets, I don't like being around tons of kids. I love my two, but for a night out? Forget it. Don't need my kids with me or to be around other people's.


When I got married we were 25 and none of our friends had kids yet so, though we welcomed kids, there weren’t many there; maybe 10 tops. It was a lot of fun and it worked out well. I love kids but if I got married now and invited everyone’s kids there would be like 75 kids there! I’m not saying it couldn’t work but I definitely don’t fault brides and grooms who limit kids to family as not doing so could be pretty hectic and would add considerably to the overall cost.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2022 23:52     Subject: Re:No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:If I could do it over again (my wedding was 10 years ago), I would have explicitly invited kids. I remember going to family weddings as a kid and thinking the bride was a princess and that eating cake and dancing and staying up a little late was the most magical thing in the world. We had one kid crash our wedding and some of my favorite photos are with her on the dance floor. I think brides get so caught up in trying to be classy or formal and it’s not what you remember many years later.


Or they just really like kids and don't want bands of them flying through what is one of the biggest and potentially most expensive days of their life. I had a no kids wedding and no regrets, I don't like being around tons of kids. I love my two, but for a night out? Forget it. Don't need my kids with me or to be around other people's.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2022 23:01     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We just had someone add kids names and meals to the RSVP card. Had to contact them to say the kids were not included. They retracted their response card. (Oh well).

If all of the first and second cousins’ children were invited, it would add at least 50 kids.


Tacky



Of you, that is.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2022 23:00     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
Anonymous wrote:We just had someone add kids names and meals to the RSVP card. Had to contact them to say the kids were not included. They retracted their response card. (Oh well).

If all of the first and second cousins’ children were invited, it would add at least 50 kids.


Tacky

Anonymous
Post 05/23/2022 22:22     Subject: Re:No kids wedding...except there were kids.
We allowed kids of family but not friends' kids. There weren't a lot - one infant, one 4yo, two tweens. We didn't have enough space for all kids but my family would have freaked out if we said no kids at all. I can understand that it probably felt unfair to our friends with kids but having everyone's kids can double your headcount
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2022 22:14     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
We just had someone add kids names and meals to the RSVP card. Had to contact them to say the kids were not included. They retracted their response card. (Oh well).

If all of the first and second cousins’ children were invited, it would add at least 50 kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2022 22:12     Subject: No kids wedding...except there were kids.
My dd is getting married soon and the only kids there will be her own little sister (who is also a flowergirl) and her df's neice and nephew (who are the other flowergirl and ringbearer and whose parents are in the wedding too And they live on the property where the wedding is lol). She didn't want to invite our kid cousins, and that's her and df's call.

I had kids at my wedding, but over the years I did decline a few wedding invites that were no-kid (I also went to some). Sometimes every one who would watch my kids, were at the wedding, and another time a nephew invited my youngest because she is the only minor child cousin on that side. Every couple needs to do what they see fit, and it's up to each family to decide to attend or not.