Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

Childcare providers do not do the same thing as SAHPs. Hopefully SAHPs do much more.

You're absolutely right. Which makes it even more of a mystery how SAHMs are looked down upon by the very same people who put their childcare providers up on a pedestal.

Because many people think that you can take care of your children AND earn two salaries.

You can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

Childcare providers do not do the same thing as SAHPs. Hopefully SAHPs do much more.

You're absolutely right. Which makes it even more of a mystery how SAHMs are looked down upon by the very same people who put their childcare providers up on a pedestal.

Because many people think that you can take care of your children AND earn two salaries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay at home moms who push their daughters academically are hypocrites.

How so? You have no idea what they've done academically/professionally before AND after being a SAHM.

Seriously. The PP's statement just made me laugh. Among my circle of SAHMs are graduates of Brown, Cornell, Yale, Davidson, UMichigan, and Chapel Hill, and myriad great state universities, to name just a few. These women were Big Law attorneys, Wall St. analysts, marketing execs, psychologists, and architects. They are now Girl Scout leaders and volunteers, among other things. One thing we all have in common: we decided to lean OUT in order to take care of our children. Will we one day return to the workforce? Sure. But we're all big believers in sequencing, and for right now, being home with our kids is where we want to be. Hopefully our daughters will do well in school too and one day be able to make these choices for themselves too. Isn't that what feminism is all about - choices? As for the PP who insists that SAHMs either aren't educated or are wasting their education - that just speaks volumes about your own level of education. You're truly showing your ignorance.

Interesting. Did you and your friends all have kids young? I'll be 55 when my youngest goes to college, so sequencing doesn't work for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

Childcare providers do not do the same thing as SAHPs. Hopefully SAHPs do much more.

You're absolutely right. Which makes it even more of a mystery how SAHMs are looked down upon by the very same people who put their childcare providers up on a pedestal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Since you are too lazy, I will show the quote you are summarizing:

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Pp, show me where, in this ENTIRE quote, it talks about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well?

You're right. That was a different poster agreeing with the first.

Just so we are clear, the poster that we are both quoting did not post in response to the poster who said people leave their children with people who barely speak English. She posted and then others responded and someone responded about others not speaking English.

And a question for you, pp. Can we agree that there is A LOT more hate for SAHMs than there is for WOHM? And remember, when you are sending your child to day care, the nanny, the babysitter, or whatever, you are PAYING that person to take care of your child/ren, so that qualifies this work (caring for a child/ren) as a job. Just because some mothers stay home and don't pay for someone else to do it, doesn't mean it isn't work/a job to be a SAHM. Some families feel it isn't cost effective to pay someone for childcare, OR they would just rather not because they want to keep their children at home. In my case, my child was born with health problems and he needed me to stay home and take care of him. So I find it very hurtful when people are so disdainful towards SAHMs. I don't judge working mothers, and I am often there to help them out when they need someone. I would hate to think that any of my friends that are working mothers are secretly judging me the way some of you are here on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. Ok i see what you mean. As a VERY hardworking in-home childcare provider and single mother/sole supporter of five children i am really offended by all of this. Very toxic and just plain mean.

Agree that it's all very toxic. But it's 11am on a Tuesday - why are you on DCUM?!

Same reason as everyone else probably?!

Yes, but at my office I'm not responsible for other people's children.

(Thank god it's Wednesday and not Tuesday!)

Not that it really requires an explanation but there are times in the day that i am not hands-on tending to the children. still perfectly responsible for them. Definitely should be doing something else with the time of course! Just like everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:I hate dog people. Get over it, dogs are not that interesting!

+1,000,000
Dog-liker here, and I agree completely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

I don't see it either. All I see are people bashing parents who stay home with their kids. I'm a SAHM and not for one minute have I ever said my choice is "better" than that of someone who WOH. My family needs are unique to yours, and vice versa. I really can't understand why all this vitriol is directed toward SAHMs. Exactly how do SAHMs affect others' family decisions? It's really unbelievable and the conclusion I'm rapidly drawing is that there are some mighty unhappy people out there who make it their life's work to put down the lifestyle choices of others.

I feel the same way about SAHM's bashing working mothers for having "other people/hired help raising their children. My choices don't affect other people's choices either. For example, the pp who said the working mom is teaching her kids hate, just because of her feelings about SAHM. That's dramatic, and she's no better about her judging.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay at home moms who push their daughters academically are hypocrites.

How so? You have no idea what they've done academically/professionally before AND after being a SAHM.

Seriously. The PP's statement just made me laugh. Among my circle of SAHMs are graduates of Brown, Cornell, Yale, Davidson, UMichigan, and Chapel Hill, and myriad great state universities, to name just a few. These women were Big Law attorneys, Wall St. analysts, marketing execs, psychologists, and architects. They are now Girl Scout leaders and volunteers, among other things. One thing we all have in common: we decided to lean OUT in order to take care of our children. Will we one day return to the workforce? Sure. But we're all big believers in sequencing, and for right now, being home with our kids is where we want to be. Hopefully our daughters will do well in school too and one day be able to make these choices for themselves too. Isn't that what feminism is all about - choices? As for the PP who insists that SAHMs either aren't educated or are wasting their education - that just speaks volumes about your own level of education. You're truly showing your ignorance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

+1000
PP, I have always wondered this too. The people who have such derision for SAHMs must then feel the same deep lack of respect for their own childcare providers, right? I hear people raving about this nanny, or that daycare, but then mocking the mother who stays home to care for her own kids. A lot of men do this too - look down their noses at SAHMs but brag that they have an au pair or full-time nanny (who barely speaks English). So incredibly hypocritical, but I guess the irony is lost on them.

Are you kidding? The majority of women who are anti-SAHM think it is important that a woman be an equal
partner and provide financially for her family. You know, like the childcare providers who do it as a career. I really find it unbelievable you don't understand that, but I guess your education is wasted that's not surprising.

I suppose you've never considered that a woman who chooses to stay home with her kids IS contributing to her family's well-being. Perhaps not financially, but there are so many other important ways to provide for one's family that aren't necessarily related to finances. Why would you think that the husbands of SAHMs (or the wives of SAHDs) don't consider their spouses to be equal partners? I know my own husband considers us a team in every way. He is very supportive of my choices, whether I stay at home or return to work.

I find it incredibly sad and pathetic that YOU seem not to understand how an equal marriage works. Your presumption that it must be all about how much money one brings in is very telling. I'm sorry you have such a skewed vision of family life. And as for my "wasted" education, thanks for the concern but I don't consider it wasted in the least. I guess you assume that people who take care of children don't need to be educated; which speaks volumes about your childcare choices.

Well said, last PP. People who slam SAHMs have forgotten what life is all about -- raising your children and enjoying your life. They seem to think life is all about $.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Having pets is such a waste of resources. I understand animal husbandry and raising farm animals (basically animals with jobs), but I have no idea why having pets is a good thing beyond the whole anthropomorphism we do. And I say this as a person with a 10 year old dog that I never wanted but ended up with when a selfish ex decided he no longer wanted a pet and left with a note to drop her off at the pound. The jerk had this animal bred for him. She literally wouldn't exist if he didn't order her from the breeder. Since it wasn't her choice to live, I figured I'd do my best to give her a "good" life whatever that may be. But I don't get it.

I don't hate my dog, but she gives me as much pleasure as my plants (with a lot more work). She's much more annoying than the plants. I just don't get pets. After she dies, I will never, ever do it again.

I feel the same way. Have never had a pet. Not just a waste of resources, but they smell and mess a lot. UGH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

I don't see it either. All I see are people bashing parents who stay home with their kids. I'm a SAHM and not for one minute have I ever said my choice is "better" than that of someone who WOH. My family needs are unique to yours, and vice versa. I really can't understand why all this vitriol is directed toward SAHMs. Exactly how do SAHMs affect others' family decisions? It's really unbelievable and the conclusion I'm rapidly drawing is that there are some mighty unhappy people out there who make it their life's work to put down the lifestyle choices of others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

Childcare providers do not do the same thing as SAHPs. Hopefully SAHPs do much more.

Having pets is such a waste of resources. I understand animal husbandry and raising farm animals (basically animals with jobs), but I have no idea why having pets is a good thing beyond the whole anthropomorphism we do. And I say this as a person with a 10 year old dog that I never wanted but ended up with when a selfish ex decided he no longer wanted a pet and left with a note to drop her off at the pound. The jerk had this animal bred for him. She literally wouldn't exist if he didn't order her from the breeder. Since it wasn't her choice to live, I figured I'd do my best to give her a "good" life whatever that may be. But I don't get it.

I don't hate my dog, but she gives me as much pleasure as my plants (with a lot more work). She's much more annoying than the plants. I just don't get pets. After she dies, I will never, ever do it again.

Agree.