I wore a two piece tankini by the time I was 6 or 7 because of a long torso.

I don’t think whether it’s a two piece or one piece is the issue. Is it appropriate for their age?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You never thought of your daughter possibly being prematurely sexualized by wearing a bikini at a young age?
-OP

No, I didn’t.

+1. Actually covering non-existent breasts in a young child is what is sexualizing.

+2
If this is where your mind goes to, you are going to have lots of things to work out, op.

Come off it. All bathing suits cover non existent breasts. Having a child bathing suit cut like an adult string bikini is what's sexualizing. Same reason I wouldn't let my seven year old wear red nail polish or lipstick or high heels. It's sexualizing.

No one but you mentioned a “string bikini.“

So? Did it occur to you and the other posters arguing with me that I'm delineating between appropriate and inappropriate bathing suits? I have no problem with two pieces, but to pretend that there aren't trashy, overly sexualizing bikinis for CHILDREN out there is willfully ignorant. Our society gets its hooks into our girls early and I want to teach them that they don't have to wear clothes like that. Let me guess, you put your daughters in "I drive the boys crazy" and your sons in "lady killer" shirts? Kids clothes don't need to be sexualized.

So are you _afraid_ your DD is going to ask for a string bikini, or has she already asked for one? Simple answer: "those are meant for [fill in your desired age] girls and women, but if you want 2 pieces here are 5 great options to choose from. Remember that 2 pieces means more sunscreen and also thinking about what will stay on when you play X game/sport that you love." End of story. No need to sermonize or sexualize. For my DD the prospect of having to put the Dreaded Hated Goopy Nasty Sunscreen on one more square inch of her body generally self-steers her away from two-piece suits.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest: I do think it is weird and a poor choice for a parent to put a young child in a bikini, especially when they have no opinion on the matter. But if at some point my older child/teen asked for two piece, I’d be fine with it.

It’s weird you think a child’s belly should not be showing.

Bikinis become popular during the “sexual revolution” as a way for women to express their new liberation and sex appeal. Just like little girls in makeup and sequined gowns for beauty pageants is weird too.

Now tell us about shorts and why they’re inappropriate for girls.

Honestly, other than their bellies, what is a 1 piece covering so much more modestly than a 2 piece?

(This is aside from teens.)

Anonymous wrote:The appropriate age is never….i don’t know why you or your daughter wants to wear a bra and underwear to the beach or the pool. Cover up and wear a one piece. A bikini is used to sexualize females no matter how much you deny it. What’s wrong with wearing a one piece? It doesn’t inhibit your speed in swimming in anyway way so why do women feel the need to wear such skimpy swimwear?!

Are you from Saudi Arabia? Wtf

Anonymous wrote:life must be tough for you. It is about to get a whole lot tougher. Loosen up real fast or you will have a huge problem.

This

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Anonymous wrote:I would let her wear a Speedo two-piece under a rash guard. Not sure of your family’s skin cancer risk, but a lot of people shouldn’t be showing as much skin as they do at the pool. My kids are on the lighter side of average, so I insist on long sleeves. They argue, and I counter with a family history of skin cancer. YMMV.

Even if you don’t have a risk for skin cancer the sun makes skin leathery with sun spots all over. Nasty.

I like two pieces because it’s easier to go to the bathroom. Just swimsuit bottoms and rash guard with short sleeves. Shoulders are vulnerable to skin damage so a Tshirt type of rash guard works well.

This is what I like for my daughter. She sometimes wears a one piece that has a skirt - because she like the skirt. She’s 8.

I agree bikinis aren’t really practical if you are doing a lot of swimming. I don’t see many girls in them at the pool.

I would probably try to find a compromise somewhere. Go shopping together?

Anonymous wrote:My girls have worn tankinis since they were little and wear tight high-cut one pieces for swim team but I don’t let them wear bikinis yet. Thanks to a history of skin cancer, we’ve always been able to get through this issue with rash guards, but my 11-year-old is starting to ask more and more for a bikini.

We’ve said no and explained it to her that as she continues through puberty and her body changes more, she’s going to get more and more attention from boys. I don’t think that she’s ready for that attention and she agrees that she’s not. She’s also one who is very tall and looks older than her age. We agreed to discuss the bikini issue every summer and reassess. This year, we agreed on a very flattering, long-sleeve one piece with age appropriate cut-outs.

Thank you for this. I have a tall, older looking daughter as well and worry about how she would process/handle attention that is extra problematic for a child that looks years older than her actual age. I appreciate hearing the way you've had the conversation and made her part of the decision making process, not just unilaterally imposed your will. I like the idea of revisiting the conversation annually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My girls have worn tankinis since they were little and wear tight high-cut one pieces for swim team but I don’t let them wear bikinis yet. Thanks to a history of skin cancer, we’ve always been able to get through this issue with rash guards, but my 11-year-old is starting to ask more and more for a bikini.

We’ve said no and explained it to her that as she continues through puberty and her body changes more, she’s going to get more and more attention from boys. I don’t think that she’s ready for that attention and she agrees that she’s not. She’s also one who is very tall and looks older than her age. We agreed to discuss the bikini issue every summer and reassess. This year, we agreed on a very flattering, long-sleeve one piece with age appropriate cut-outs.

The skin cancer argument isn't a strong one. They are most likely to get skin cancer on all the parts in the sun. Face, arms, neck legs, etc.

True. My real goal is to get them to high school without getting a sunburn. Rash guards are one tool but we also use lots of sunscreen on the places you mentioned. I tell them they’ll thank me later.

Anonymous wrote:My girls have worn tankinis since they were little and wear tight high-cut one pieces for swim team but I don’t let them wear bikinis yet. Thanks to a history of skin cancer, we’ve always been able to get through this issue with rash guards, but my 11-year-old is starting to ask more and more for a bikini.

We’ve said no and explained it to her that as she continues through puberty and her body changes more, she’s going to get more and more attention from boys. I don’t think that she’s ready for that attention and she agrees that she’s not. She’s also one who is very tall and looks older than her age. We agreed to discuss the bikini issue every summer and reassess. This year, we agreed on a very flattering, long-sleeve one piece with age appropriate cut-outs.

The skin cancer argument isn't a strong one. They are most likely to get skin cancer on all the parts in the sun. Face, arms, neck legs, etc.

life must be tough for you. It is about to get a whole lot tougher. Loosen up real fast or you will have a huge problem.

My girls have worn tankinis since they were little and wear tight high-cut one pieces for swim team but I don’t let them wear bikinis yet. Thanks to a history of skin cancer, we’ve always been able to get through this issue with rash guards, but my 11-year-old is starting to ask more and more for a bikini.

We’ve said no and explained it to her that as she continues through puberty and her body changes more, she’s going to get more and more attention from boys. I don’t think that she’s ready for that attention and she agrees that she’s not. She’s also one who is very tall and looks older than her age. We agreed to discuss the bikini issue every summer and reassess. This year, we agreed on a very flattering, long-sleeve one piece with age appropriate cut-outs.

My youngest started wanting "bikinis" at the ripe old age of four (now six). I admit at first I felt a little odd about it - I've always put my kids in 2-piece tankinis or rashguards, but something about the bikini felt off to me. Maybe it's because of the point someone made earlier that covering her chest was almost more sexualizing than just going topless? Anyway, I swallowed my discomfort and got her some because at the end of the day, I don't want to imply to her that either a) her body is something to be covered up, or b) other people sexualizing her is her problem to solve.

I'm going to be really honest here and say that when she wears them, I have seen creepy men stare at her a lot longer than I like. She's a pretty cute kid and also my only blonde, and I have really been surprised to see how differently she gets treated because of it (me and my other daughters are brunette). It horrifies me but I do not want to make it her problem. Even when I casually suggest a cover up, she resists, and I drop it.

So anyway, there's my very honest and very anonymous point of view on this. I still feel a little unsure about it ~2 years in, but I've always let my kids wear what they want and this continues to be no exception.

It's not just the potential for a kid in a revealing swimsuit to be sexualized (which some people do), but also about possibly triggering body image issues. A mom in my mom's group put her 3-4 year old in a bikini. An older girl at the pool made a comment about her protruding toddler belly, and the preschooler was sad about it and started sucking in her stomach.

When they ask to, they can wear a tankini. When they're old enough to have an after-school job and earn the money for a bikini, they can buy and wear one.