Anonymous
Post 09/26/2020 03:35     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:That I hang out on dcum because my husband does not like to talk much.
During normal times, he found dinners with friends exhausting.
I still love him.


Y’all actually sound really sweet.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2020 03:35     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Because of sexual abuse when I was young, I hate sex. We have it so infrequently (he’s very lovely!) that we’re going to try IVF. I am old - 37 - but we also tried maybe twice or three times a month, so not really. And I think that I present as a sexual person, maybe just because of my boobs and I used to be willing to please in any way. So I feel like it was a bait-and-switch. But I try to talk about it often and let him know I’m happy to give BJ’s, etc. (and I do) but it feels like I’m a mess wrt sex. So feel pretty shitty about that and certainly don’t share it openly!
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2020 02:58     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
That I hang out on dcum because my husband does not like to talk much.
During normal times, he found dinners with friends exhausting.
I still love him.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2020 02:55     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:My husband farts during dinner.

Lol. +1. It’s not funny! Lol.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2020 02:46     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
My husband farts during dinner.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2020 02:19     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As the (female) aspie in the relationship, it’s not like we purposely trap our partner. It’s just the nature of aging with Aspergers. The masking that is almost easy in your twenties becomes incredibly difficult to sustain once you’re into your forties. It’s like a muscle wearing out from overuse.


Ugh.

At least you have enough self awareness to accept your Dx and masking. Most asd men do not.


Does your DH actually have a professional diagnosis or did you diagnose him? Social ability is distributed on a bell curve, same as athletic abiliy or anything else. Half of us people are below average, and some are a standard dev below.

The psychologist who wrote the autism dx criteria in the DSM V often says that many socially awkward people don’t have autism.

Anonymous
Post 09/25/2020 08:07     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
To your spouse or among friends and family?

To my DW I hide her medium to moderately used-up shoes and then throw them away after about a year. She would never do this herself.

She can't remember how many shoes she has nor how many she has bought so it never amounts to anything. Mostly unrepairable or not worth repairing footwear.

Among friends and family that DW had somewhat of a drinking issue and I had a medium depression that we got over together with lots of mutual support.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 19:47     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
My porn usage, which comes because my wife has all but given up on sex.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 19:12     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:My husband's drinking and silent treatment. My yelling and cheating on him in revenge.


I seriously hope you don’t have kids. You both need help.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 17:27     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
My husband's drinking and silent treatment. My yelling and cheating on him in revenge.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 12:46     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Bipolar husband a real struggle to live with, let’s it all out once home or blames me for his shortcomings. Other neuroatypical stuff driving it as well.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 11:34     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who think people have no idea they are swingers are dead wrong. That news travels like wildfire.


We just recently found that that my FIL (60s) and his wife (50s) are swingers. I think it's hilarious. My H doesn't think so.

Ewww.
I'm think it's incredibly dumb and trashy, especially for post-menopausal people. I'm sure they themselves think they are oh-so-hot. Gross.


The Villages in FL has one of the highest STD rates in the country. Swinging is common there. Clearly old people find other old people attractive. I have no problem with it. I hope I having sex with my DW when we are old.
We aren't into swinging, but have a bit of an exhibition and voyeur dynamic.

+1 I worked in a county STD prevention program for a couple years and we would frequently go give STD education talks to retirement community homes.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 11:30     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who think people have no idea they are swingers are dead wrong. That news travels like wildfire.


We just recently found that that my FIL (60s) and his wife (50s) are swingers. I think it's hilarious. My H doesn't think so.

Ewww.
I'm think it's incredibly dumb and trashy, especially for post-menopausal people. I'm sure they themselves think they are oh-so-hot. Gross.


The Villages in FL has one of the highest STD rates in the country. Swinging is common there. Clearly old people find other old people attractive. I have no problem with it. I hope I having sex with my DW when we are old.
We aren't into swinging, but have a bit of an exhibition and voyeur dynamic.

I don’t know about the swinging (good for them, if true) but the oft quoted STI info has been totally debunked. It originated in a book about the Villages retirement lifestyle. The rate there is statistically equivalent to the rest of FL.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2020 07:09     Subject: What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
DW is crazy. Dresses up nice. Attractive. But crazy.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2020 17:14     Subject: Re:What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a journalist and I once wrote an article about a sex camp so naturally I "dragged" my husband along. The workshops were extremely entertaining - bondage, knot tying, oral satisfaction etc. - with my husband eye rolling and grinning more than me. The final night was quite "open" with a great deal of sharing except by us though we did have our own fun so the others didn't think we were losers. Our friends would be shocked and our teenagers grossed out. Despite my cleansing the article as best as I could it was never published. Now I can't even imagine putting my name on it but we were young and needed the money. Other than that I've got nothing to hide!


LOL! Did you work "undercover?" Did you learn anything fun?


Haha - as a journalist yes, but as a participant no but we didn’t “share.” The other participants were mostly very nice and they could have been anyone’s neighbors. We definitely learned some fun things so we did get something out of it.