Anonymous
Post 04/30/2020 00:27     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in California and haven’t gone ANYWHERE except work for 49 days. No walks, no grocery stores, no friends, nothing. Unlike OP’s nanny, I actually care about the family who employs me and don’t want to do anything to put them at risk. Most nannies will be okay with a quarantine. Get a new one over 30 who has a brain and isn’t selfish.


You didn't have much of a life before this did you? If you didn't have friends and you weren't dating or going out then you have given up nothing. I know that sounds very harsh but you need to understand that most domestic workers do, in fact, have a personal life outside of their employer's home. It is not reasonable for an employer to insist that their domestic employees completely give up any chance of having a personal life outside of work.

I think that you are selling yourself very short. Do you have social anxiety by any chance? Do you not hope to fall in love and have children of your own? Or have you accepted that this is all you deserve?


You don’t get it. Some of us understand what sip means, and we are making sure to not spread covid.


So if the governor orders you back to your office building, you would be cool with living in your office and never seeing your family, friends and children again. Never having sex again?



I am a nanny. Yes, I’d be fine quarantined with the family for as long as necessary.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 23:35     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP sorry so many people, or one really bitter person, is bashing you. Under normal conditions, YES, of course it would be crazy to not allow someone out of the house to hang out with friends and then to return. But these aren't normal conditions.


Thank you
Yes it feels like one person just keeps repeating themselves [/quote

There are at least two of us - and likely many many more. It's not about bitterness -- it's about humanity, decency, fairness, things like that. If the OP had even voiced the tiniest concern about this young woman's well-being -- unable to have direct contact with her friends and family because the OP's well-being matters more -- it would be easier to view this more charitably. That people chime in viewing the young woman's needs as "selfish" vs "healthy" only serves to fan the flames.





There are plenty of other young people out there that are obeying the shelter in place orders and are not having direct contact with their friends and family. I don't see why the nanny's situation is any different from them? It sounds like there are a lot of people on here who are not obeying shelter in place/stay at home rules and don't understand how social distancing/self isolation work. YOU, my friends, are the reason that the number of deaths continues to increase.


Funny: To me it sounds like there are a number of people who are fortunate enough to be able to shelter in place with their families - who are just fine with the up idea that they should have total control over how a young woman - who is isolated from her friends and family - spends her time. Put that way, it reads like entitlement and abuse - albeit with genuinely unusual circumstances.

PP: Maybe some of these other young people that you speak of can chime in here. And maybe some of the people who are completely isolated I order to support their employer’s ability to interact with their own family members can chime in as well.


Look - OP gave the woman a choice. Stay and keep your job, leave and go party with your friends. The nanny is CHOOSING to go party with her friends. OP isn't forcing her to do anything. You are nuts.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 23:32     Subject: Re:Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.


I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.


It would be a completely different story if OP weren't in a Covid hotspot with stay at home orders. I don't know why you don't understand this.


It would be a completely different story if OP evidenced some shred of compassion and understanding for her isolated employee. I don’t know why you don’t understand this.


You make it sound like OP has the nanny locked in the basement and doesn't let her leave. She does let her leave, as she's mentioned several times. Presumably nanny has a phone or other device that she can use to communicate with her friends. My BFF is stuck at home with her cats and hasn't seen any friends or family in the past month. We FaceTime once a week so she can say hi to me and the kids, she talks to her parents and her siblings several times a week. She's not thrilled, but she's doing fine. At least the nanny's not at home ALONE.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 23:29     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You guys - nanny is not paying rent, OP buys all her food, OP lets her use her car whenever she wants. She has a pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.


Sweet! As long as she remains completely isolated from anyone who cares about her well-being for an indefinite amount of time until Boss Lady says she can. It’s such a sweet sweet deal that you’re going to be first in line for the job opening! Right? I mean, sure, you might miss your loved ones, but you can drive the car wherever you want - as long as you don’t get out of it. Sweet indeed.


WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GOING OUT AND SEEING PEOPLE YOU DUMB, DUMB PERSON.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 22:25     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP sorry so many people, or one really bitter person, is bashing you. Under normal conditions, YES, of course it would be crazy to not allow someone out of the house to hang out with friends and then to return. But these aren't normal conditions.


Thank you
Yes it feels like one person just keeps repeating themselves [/quote

There are at least two of us - and likely many many more. It's not about bitterness -- it's about humanity, decency, fairness, things like that. If the OP had even voiced the tiniest concern about this young woman's well-being -- unable to have direct contact with her friends and family because the OP's well-being matters more -- it would be easier to view this more charitably. That people chime in viewing the young woman's needs as "selfish" vs "healthy" only serves to fan the flames.





There are plenty of other young people out there that are obeying the shelter in place orders and are not having direct contact with their friends and family. I don't see why the nanny's situation is any different from them? It sounds like there are a lot of people on here who are not obeying shelter in place/stay at home rules and don't understand how social distancing/self isolation work. YOU, my friends, are the reason that the number of deaths continues to increase.


Funny: To me it sounds like there are a number of people who are fortunate enough to be able to shelter in place with their families - who are just fine with the up idea that they should have total control over how a young woman - who is isolated from her friends and family - spends her time. Put that way, it reads like entitlement and abuse - albeit with genuinely unusual circumstances.

PP: Maybe some of these other young people that you speak of can chime in here. And maybe some of the people who are completely isolated I order to support their employer’s ability to interact with their own family members can chime in as well.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:36     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:Itwould be awful to have to spend every evening and all weekend in a bedroom and if you leave the bedroom you are at work.

I would go insane before 6 weeks


But she was SAFE!
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:35     Subject: Re:Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.


I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.


OP has said it was the nanny’s choice / preference to live in when she started working for them several years ago. OP’s only restriction is that the nanny follow the LAW which requires sheltering in place. Please explain why this is objectionable to you. Are employers not allowed to require their employees to follow the law?


Please post the exact law and the exceptions to it -- and I'll be happy to respond to your concern. By the way, using caps doesn't really make your point any better. Screaming "LAW" "LAW" isn't rational, and doesn't address any of the points that I made. Your comments seem a bit unhinged, and resemble the arguments that have been used to support slavery.


Different poster here but there is something really unnerving about the way that Op views her nanny.


I quite agree.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:34     Subject: Re:Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.


I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.


It would be a completely different story if OP weren't in a Covid hotspot with stay at home orders. I don't know why you don't understand this.


It would be a completely different story if OP evidenced some shred of compassion and understanding for her isolated employee. I don’t know why you don’t understand this.


+1. She seems to view the nanny more as a tool than as a person. It’s a bummer it’ll take Amazon so long to ship a replacement.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:34     Subject: Re:Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s clearly not going to leave and risk loosing her income

But I think she’s just expressing herself and needs a pick me up

Maybe schedule a drive by to her friends house where they can wave to one another


Something that says you appreciate her not just view her as the nanny


Or mauve give her a day or two off

I mean being somewhere for six weeks is one thing




But for her, she’s legit at her job for SIX weeks
And no days off without socializing

That’s tough





But no you aren’t being unreasonable,
If she leaves then she needs to leave and understand she’s not only putting your family at risk but herself


Thanks she has the use of our car and has her own entrance. She goes running in the mornings and goes for drives on the weekends so she can go hiking.
We pay for all her meals and get all the treats and everything she likes including alcohol each time we get a delivery

I think that she definitely plans to give up her home and income. Her friends are hanging out, collecting unemployment and she seems to want to do the same

This whole situation is miserable for all of us.


If she saying she wants to leave, I don't get it what is the problem?
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:33     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Itwould be awful to have to spend every evening and all weekend in a bedroom and if you leave the bedroom you are at work.

I would go insane before 6 weeks
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:33     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So she resigned instead of being fired. I'd get clarification of that in an email. I'm not sure that she qualifies for unemployment.


False. OP wanted her to essentially work 7 days/week and not pay her for it.


OP has explained many times that she’s paying the nanny for 7 days


I have such a hard time believing this. Nanny would me raking in the cash if this was the case. Doubt someone would want to leave that.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:31     Subject: Re:Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.


I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.


+100000 Run, Nanny, run!!! We are rooting for you!!!

On another note, I wonder what Op's kids think about all of this. I feel bad for them, too.


Lol: Thanks for providing a moment of laughter in this mess. I share your concern for the kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:29     Subject: Re:Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.


I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.


It would be a completely different story if OP weren't in a Covid hotspot with stay at home orders. I don't know why you don't understand this.


It would be a completely different story if OP evidenced some shred of compassion and understanding for her isolated employee. I don’t know why you don’t understand this.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:26     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:You guys - nanny is not paying rent, OP buys all her food, OP lets her use her car whenever she wants. She has a pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.


Sweet! As long as she remains completely isolated from anyone who cares about her well-being for an indefinite amount of time until Boss Lady says she can. It’s such a sweet sweet deal that you’re going to be first in line for the job opening! Right? I mean, sure, you might miss your loved ones, but you can drive the car wherever you want - as long as you don’t get out of it. Sweet indeed.
Anonymous
Post 04/29/2020 21:26     Subject: Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty obvious that all the people who are saying OP is horrible are nannies themselves.


Nope. Not even close.


No. I've never been a nanny. I just know better than to treat other people like dirt.