Anonymous
03/04/2020 07:31
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.
Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.
OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.
I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.
You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.
Anonymous
03/04/2020 05:41
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.
The fact that you don't appreciate how many women in this country would love to be able to stay home with their children but cannot do so financially (and I'm not talking about because they want to take trips to Europe and send their kids to private school, I'm talking about putting food in their kids' mouths and a roof over their heads) makes you sound like a moron. The whole "owning" your life choices thing is such a disgustingly privileged thing to say.
I actually don’t know any women who would love to SAH but can’t afford to. I do know women who didn’t make much before kids, and weren’t really interested in growing their career, so it made sense for them to quit.
Seriously??? You need to get out more if you’ve never met any women who wished they didn’t have to work.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 23:26
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.
Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.
OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.
Your post would be so much better if you had written only the last line. By including all the needless bragging that proceeded it, you have indicated you can't live by your own advice. How gauche.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 23:01
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.
The fact that you don't appreciate how many women in this country would love to be able to stay home with their children but cannot do so financially (and I'm not talking about because they want to take trips to Europe and send their kids to private school, I'm talking about putting food in their kids' mouths and a roof over their heads) makes you sound like a moron. The whole "owning" your life choices thing is such a disgustingly privileged thing to say.
I actually don’t know any women who would love to SAH but can’t afford to. I do know women who didn’t make much before kids, and weren’t really interested in growing their career, so it made sense for them to quit.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 22:57
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.
Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.
OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.
I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 22:21
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
^ I have friends who retired early at 55, kudos for them; and to you & your DH for making it work.
Those who are supporting the jerk is being just as judgemental as him.
I would take the high, less petty road and say yes if you don't have a conflict.
Those who are supporting the jerk is being just as judgemental as him.
I would take the high, less petty road and say yes if you don't have a conflict.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 22:16
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
No way would I watch his kid.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 22:02
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.
Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.
OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.
Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.
OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 21:49
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:I’m currently a Sahm, my youngest is 4 and in preschool 9-1 weekdays. At the beginning of the year I posted to FB that I loved the peace and quiet of doing nothing from 9-1 now that Larlo is in preschool. Our neighbor, a single dad who, tagged my DH and jokingly asked, what do you think about this, Bob? And, Time for a part-time job? It’s almost like he’s uncomfortable with it and jabs me about it often. My DH has spoken up and said it makes sense, I’ve pointed out that it works for us now, etc.
Our school is doing construction and will have some planned early releases next week. It happens to be neighbors week with his son. He’s now asking if I would grab his son too. Of course, if I was working my kids would go to SACC and I wouldn’t be able to help. But since I SAH, it’s convenient for me to grab his son, isn’t it?
Am I right to say no AND point out that he’s contradicted himself? Or is this petty? It just feels like the perfect opportunity to just be like, now do you get it?
Your DH has mentioned it to him in passing that you have free time. The conversation that you should get a job has happened between this neighbor and your DH in some way or form before.
As far as picking up his kid is concerned, you can say "Sorry, Bill, I am not available to pick up your kid at that time. I have something else planned. " That is all.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 21:46
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:I would say no and leave it at that. No need to point it out. Also, don’t brag on FB.
This.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 16:45
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Charge him.
Tell him that you started a part time job watching other people's kids.
$30/hr sound reasonable?
PREACH- put some visibility on that invisible labor.
So should I charge my friends when their kids play at my house? Or if I take another kid to a birthday party?
What's your point? Are you trying to imply that childcare is not work?
There's really no way to answer you that you'll understand so just keep on "preaching" about your "invisible labor" rather than doing something about it.
Meh. Maybe someday you’ll understand that you’re not entitled to free babysitting just because your neighbor is a SAHM. How is this so difficult for you?
SMH
Sigh. I have never asked for nor expected free labor from anyone, including my family, but certainly not my friends. I've never used a SAHM as childcare because I assumed she wasn't working (or for any other reason). You seem to be the one with difficulties understanding things.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 16:44
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.
The fact that you don't appreciate how many women in this country would love to be able to stay home with their children but cannot do so financially (and I'm not talking about because they want to take trips to Europe and send their kids to private school, I'm talking about putting food in their kids' mouths and a roof over their heads) makes you sound like a moron. The whole "owning" your life choices thing is such a disgustingly privileged thing to say.
Got it. You feel entitled to my labor for free because I’m so “lucky” to get to stay home.
YOUR attitude is disgusting. Start taking responsibility fir your own life - and yes, that includes owning your choices.
Apparently this is hard for you to grasp so I'll try to break it down into small pieces for you. Saying you aren't "lucky" to be able to stay home with your kids is incredibly tone deaf. It doesn't mean that you owe anyone anything and I never said anything about that. Try reading and understanding and then posting. I don't feel entitled to your free labor, nor would I want it. I completely own the choices I've made but I do consider myself absolutely lucky to be in the position I am in. I'd have to be really dense to think that everyone gets the luxury to choose what they want to do in the same way I did.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 16:11
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a guy who relates to people by joking around. He may not realize that he's upset you or made you feel weird. He also sounds like he is scrambling for child care and you could probably really help him out. It's your call. You are lucky to be able to stay home - not everyone is. (I'm a full-time working mom and this week is pretty much hell due to all the school closures, some last-minute, coupled with a very busy work week.) Count your blessings and maybe help the guy out - he might be able to help you out sometime in the future, or just be a better neighbor.
I hate this type of reasoning. Uh no, I am not "lucky" to get to stay home with my children. My family planned for this and we made certain sacrifices to able to do it. Life is about choices. Own yours and stop with the monologues about how "lucky" I am and how that translates into me owing you something.
OP owes her neighbor nothing. Maybe if he had manners she would be more inclined to help him. However, doing favors for people who disrespect you is always a very stupid decision.
The fact that you don't appreciate how many women in this country would love to be able to stay home with their children but cannot do so financially (and I'm not talking about because they want to take trips to Europe and send their kids to private school, I'm talking about putting food in their kids' mouths and a roof over their heads) makes you sound like a moron. The whole "owning" your life choices thing is such a disgustingly privileged thing to say.
Got it. You feel entitled to my labor for free because I’m so “lucky” to get to stay home.
YOUR attitude is disgusting. Start taking responsibility fir your own life - and yes, that includes owning your choices.
No, your reading comprehension is disgustingly bad. Are you the same person responding over again about how "disgusting" everyone is and how people are entitled to your "labor"? WTF are you talking about? NO ONE on this thread has said anything about SAHMs being *obligated* to take care of anyone else's children but their own. Some have mentioned that OP might help her neighbor to be nice, but no one has said anything about her being expected to do so or owing it to anyone.
People take issue with your sense of entitlement. The fact that you ascribe your situation completely to your own merit. How many ways do you need it spelled out for you. You are lucky, not special, not better than everyone else.
Trust me, nobody wants you anywhere near their children.
Anonymous
03/03/2020 13:39
Subject: Re:Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Charge him.
Tell him that you started a part time job watching other people's kids.
$30/hr sound reasonable?
PREACH- put some visibility on that invisible labor.
So should I charge my friends when their kids play at my house? Or if I take another kid to a birthday party?
What's your point? Are you trying to imply that childcare is not work?
There's really no way to answer you that you'll understand so just keep on "preaching" about your "invisible labor" rather than doing something about it.
Meh. Maybe someday you’ll understand that you’re not entitled to free babysitting just because your neighbor is a SAHM. How is this so difficult for you?
SMH
Anonymous
03/03/2020 13:38
Subject: Am I being petty or would you feel the same way?
PP, it's "for," not "fir." You're ID'ing yourself and your constant posting with your idiotic spelling.