Anonymous
09/20/2019 15:50
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
How good my own parents were. So calm in the face of irrational, emotional tweens and teens. I don't think they really ever said aloud anything very mean towards me or us kids, despite us actually acting like brats, bitches, lazy asses, or selfish jerks. They were really great.
Anonymous
09/20/2019 15:23
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
That I had a LOT more free time than I thought I had pre-kids. How did I ever think life was busy back then?
Anonymous
09/20/2019 15:07
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
How much work kids are.
Anonymous
09/20/2019 14:59
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Before kids I got so cranky how much time my colleagues would take off work for their kids--events, sicknesses, whatever. It was annoying AF (at the time) to feel like I was constantly covering for the same people over and over and over. And they had the 'day off'!
And then... I had a kid... in daycare... HAHAHAHAHHAHA
#sorry
And then... I had a kid... in daycare... HAHAHAHAHHAHA
#sorry
Anonymous
09/20/2019 14:16
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
How desperately we need gun control in this country.
Anonymous
09/20/2019 14:15
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:I think the dads who say they do a lot or more or just as much are great but are missing the point....
The point is not that no men step up fully when it comes to parenting. The point is that for most couples, a combination of unarticulated individual and social expectations, workplace structure, school atructure, you name it ends up producing very traditionally gendered divisions of labor... and many people do t realize how powerful all that can be until it is too late.
So good for you, men who do your share. But women who don’t yet have kids: beware. Think about this stuff ahead of time.
Speak for yourself. I married a capable man, who is a full partner in parenting. And it's not just me. With a few exceptions, most dads in our social circle are active, engaged fathers who share the responsibility/mental load of parenting.
Anonymous
09/20/2019 14:14
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Now I get why my mom gave up on cooking.
Anonymous
09/20/2019 14:09
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:That for many friends, parenthood is really their first rodeo when it comes to having external demands on you, and it's the first time they've really dealt with major stressors in their lives. And for others, who've had it rough throughout life, we see parenthood as a positive stressor as opposed to a negative one.
This is so true. I've been through a couple of major traumas since having kids, and I sometimes think how naive and innocent I was when my toddlers were the major source of stress in my life.
Anonymous
09/20/2019 13:28
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:I never understood kidsbop. It seemed like crappy music remade into even crappier music.
But boy do my kids love it, and I love that I can trust my kids to listen to it without concern for words or content.
I admit it: I now love kidsbop.
I've been to the concert 2 years in a row and still won't realize in the car I'm listening to it. I also sing the Kidz Bop lyrics instead of the real lyrics - Bruno Mars drinks strawberry milkshakes and not strawberry champagne on ice!
Anonymous
09/20/2019 13:26
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:--Empathy for those who've lost a child. Before I knew it was horrible but now i realize it really is like no loss you might experience. Having another child would never ease the loss of one my children. I now view the women I know who have lost children as otherworldy beings. I don't know how I'd survive that pain.
-- I now NEVER ask a couple when/if they plan to have kids/more kids. That can be a loaded question for some.
--How fast and slow it all goes. I don't know how my 4 year old turned 4 so quickly but a week with a 4 year old and an infant can sometimes drag
---How much I'd like going to work. I actually have "me" time in that I can eat lunch uninterrupted and if I'm productive I can leave the office and watch something on netflix while on the elliptical. [b]working out and going shopping by myself are no longer chores...they're 'me' time.
Could have said the exact same things as above. My best friend lost her baby at 8 months pregnant and my college roomate lost her daughter at 3YO to a genetic disorder. I was gutted, absolutely devastated for them. I still get choked up thinking about it.
I'll also add that I get that (but still don't quite understand why) my parents were ALWAYS skeptical of me as a teen. I was a genuinely good kid, didn't drink/do drugs, and wasn't having sex, but I always felt like they were trying to "catch" me doing something. I now do the exact same with my 16YO daughter. I try to "trust but verify" but I'm usually just skeptical and she's really never given me a reason to be! It's something I have to work on every day.
Anonymous
09/18/2019 10:00
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:--Empathy for those who've lost a child. Before I knew it was horrible but now i realize it really is like no loss you might experience. Having another child would never ease the loss of one my children. I now view the women I know who have lost children as otherworldy beings. I don't know how I'd survive that pain.
-- I now NEVER ask a couple when/if they plan to have kids/more kids. That can be a loaded question for some.
--How fast and slow it all goes. I don't know how my 4 year old turned 4 so quickly but a week with a 4 year old and an infant can sometimes drag
---How much I'd like going to work. I actually have "me" time in that I can eat lunch uninterrupted and if I'm productive I can leave the office and watch something on netflix while on the elliptical. working out and going shopping by myself are no longer chores...they're 'me' time.
Ha! This is going to date me, but I remember when my oldest was a baby, DH and I would argue about who got to return the movies to blockbuster. It was like a mini vacation.
Anonymous
09/18/2019 09:59
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Blow drying your hair is a luxury
Anonymous
09/18/2019 09:52
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
--Empathy for those who've lost a child. Before I knew it was horrible but now i realize it really is like no loss you might experience. Having another child would never ease the loss of one my children. I now view the women I know who have lost children as otherworldy beings. I don't know how I'd survive that pain.
-- I now NEVER ask a couple when/if they plan to have kids/more kids. That can be a loaded question for some.
--How fast and slow it all goes. I don't know how my 4 year old turned 4 so quickly but a week with a 4 year old and an infant can sometimes drag
---How much I'd like going to work. I actually have "me" time in that I can eat lunch uninterrupted and if I'm productive I can leave the office and watch something on netflix while on the elliptical. working out and going shopping by myself are no longer chores...they're 'me' time.
-- I now NEVER ask a couple when/if they plan to have kids/more kids. That can be a loaded question for some.
--How fast and slow it all goes. I don't know how my 4 year old turned 4 so quickly but a week with a 4 year old and an infant can sometimes drag
---How much I'd like going to work. I actually have "me" time in that I can eat lunch uninterrupted and if I'm productive I can leave the office and watch something on netflix while on the elliptical. working out and going shopping by myself are no longer chores...they're 'me' time.
Anonymous
09/17/2019 14:58
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
I never understood kidsbop. It seemed like crappy music remade into even crappier music.
But boy do my kids love it, and I love that I can trust my kids to listen to it without concern for words or content.
I admit it: I now love kidsbop.
But boy do my kids love it, and I love that I can trust my kids to listen to it without concern for words or content.
I admit it: I now love kidsbop.
Anonymous
09/17/2019 14:45
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
I understand now why people choose NOT to have kids 