Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

You don't know if it's unfounded or not. It could be just a bad/weird sibling relationship, of which there are plenty. It's unfounded unless the girl is being sexually abused, and you have no idea if she is or not (and no, carrying her around the pool or wrestling her doesn't count even if it seems icky to us)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

What exactly would you do under these circumstances?
Chat with the mother who allows her boy to assault her daughter?

I can imagine a scenario where giving your sister "kiss attacks" is meant to be playful and not some form of crazy sex abuse, but if OP is considering calling CPS, maybe it looks very bad and her judgment is similar to mine.

I would be careful with such a strong accusation, but I am not sure what I would do if I were in her shoes either

But yes, right now I am dealing with a CPS situation that is total BS and it is not fun at all, so I would be careful about wishing that on someone else

I've seen your thread. Your kid getting the iron burn will get resolved, file will be closed, and you'll get on with your life. (Had a friend whose infant broke an arm. Similar encounter with CPS. Totally resolved and no lasting issues.Sorry it's a hassle, but we need systems to keep kids safe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posed a while back -- I am not convinced penetration has occurred. But, his behavior is inappropriate.

There is a lot of sexual abuse that is not rape.

Unwanted kissing (particularly on the mouth)
Unwanted touching (particularly in the bathing-suit areas)
Threatening (I will do something to you)
etc.

OP says touching....there is touching to annoy people -- kids are good at that. Like on the back or arm.

And lying on top is wrestling. Siblings sometime wrestle.

But, clearly she is saying no -- she as a right to say no. He is not respecting that.

So to me the questions on actions are:
1) is behavior sexual, or is it adults sexualizing children playing? (I do not know)
2) Is he touching her in her privates?
3) Is he getting off sexually on it?

Frankly a 13 yo sharing a room with a 10 yo of the opposite sex is a bad situation and can lead to a lot of sexual frustration.

(When I was a young teen, I did not really understand the privacy issues with masturbation).

Or more to the point, a sexually abusive boy in a private room with his victim all night, every night - can easily lead to rape. His parents are ok with his forcible kissing her.
I hope the victim has relatives or other caring adults who can protect her from her monster brother.

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so glad you are going to call. I'm a former social worker. A CPS call just means that you have a suspicion, not that you have 100% proof. Everything you have said indicates an alarming situation and at this point the professionals need to help figure out what is going on and to get the family the help they need.

No, the signs of abuse are not necessarily obvious, especially at this age. A pediatrician is unlikely to see any signs unless there is obvious physical trauma, like bruises and cuts. Kids can be touched and fondled and even raped without obvious signs. Kids can go for years hiding terrible secrets. And the abuser is most often a relative or someone close in their circle, often someone nobody would suspect. I once knew of a case of a physician who sexually abused her own son. It only came to light when the son bragged to school friends that he wasn't a virgin. People could not believe this respected professional had a horrible secret life at home, and the kid was seriously messed up for life.

It's normal to worry about the repercussions of making the call. But this kid needs help, and you'll have to take the chance that it means the end of the friendship, in exchange for helping a child who cannot help herself right now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as someone who is currently dealing with the CPS..... I hope OP is correct that it merits getting them involved

What exactly would you do under these circumstances?
Chat with the mother who allows her boy to assault her daughter?

I can imagine a scenario where giving your sister "kiss attacks" is meant to be playful and not some form of crazy sex abuse, but if OP is considering calling CPS, maybe it looks very bad and her judgment is similar to mine.

I would be careful with such a strong accusation, but I am not sure what I would do if I were in her shoes either

But yes, right now I am dealing with a CPS situation that is total BS and it is not fun at all, so I would be careful about wishing that on someone else

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's doing stuff like this in public this family's sense of what is normal is totally off. All of them. And he's used to getting whatever he wants. And his mom enforces that they share a room (not normal) even when sharing a vacation house with another family.

It would not surprise me at all if genital touching of some sort is happening.

Op said the mother doesn’t say no to her boy.