Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:41
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
^And, of course, if you can ask him to get a vasectomy he can ask you to get your tubes tied.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:40
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I don't know why so many people are going berserk over this. It seems like the rational and sensible approach.
I don't have a problem with it, so long as nobody is being deceptive. If OP says to the guy, "Hey, I'm likely to leave you, and I'd like you to get a vasectomy before I do," then no problem, all adults.
If dude is stupid enough he can’t think through things, best for humanity that he not impregnate anyone else.
I just don't like deliberate deception. It's crass and tacky. Doesn't matter if the people you set out to deceive are stupid or note -- it's still you doing the bad thing.
+1 Just be straight forward and honest. "Our marriage is not working out and I think it's best that we separate. I would like you to get a vasectomy before we split up because our first responsibility needs to be to the child(ren) that we have."
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:33
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
^^not
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:32
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I don't know why so many people are going berserk over this. It seems like the rational and sensible approach.
I don't have a problem with it, so long as nobody is being deceptive. If OP says to the guy, "Hey, I'm likely to leave you, and I'd like you to get a vasectomy before I do," then no problem, all adults.
If dude is stupid enough he can’t think through things, best for humanity that he not impregnate anyone else.
I just don't like deliberate deception. It's crass and tacky. Doesn't matter if the people you set out to deceive are stupid or note -- it's still you doing the bad thing.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:28
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:you are batshit crazy!
My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.
His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.
Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.
Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch.
LOL
You tricked him and accidentally on purpose got pregnant. He's not even divorced, you're only the OW!
Now he's stuck, he has to be with one of you because he can't afford to pay 2 women. Wait and see, if he's smart he'll run those numbers. Then realize it's cheaper to stay with his wife and kids.
You're a great case for men to get a vasectomy once they their family! I agree with you OP!
All of a sudden the people against the V for a divorcing dad are rethinking it.
She couldn't get a ring so she got pregnant. Typical. Pathetic.
Many men don't want more children. I ran into my old client a few months ago. At 47 her husband had an affair. The AP was 37 with no kids, and of course it was a accident. Wink Wink. His wife and kids kicked him out. Guess where he went?
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:24
Subject: Re:Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:If you can stay with him OP I'd do it. Only to have your kids under the same roof, plus there's nothing out there if you look around. If he's a cheater you better have him get a V either way. So he disappointed you...who cares about him. It's all about your kids imo.
No and no.
Yes. Second marriages fail around 67-70%. Now how many of those 30% that stay married are unhappy?
I know few women in 2nd marriage that are really satisfied. Often a mess because of steps, exes, ex in-laws, and current in-laws.
OP unless it's abuse I'd look at every angle.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:23
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I don't know why so many people are going berserk over this. It seems like the rational and sensible approach.
I don't have a problem with it, so long as nobody is being deceptive. If OP says to the guy, "Hey, I'm likely to leave you, and I'd like you to get a vasectomy before I do," then no problem, all adults.
If dude is stupid enough he can’t think through things, best for humanity that he not impregnate anyone else.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:23
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:
I don't know why so many people are going berserk over this. It seems like the rational and sensible approach.
Patriarchy, man. People get upset if you try to usurp that power.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:22
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:
I don't know why so many people are going berserk over this. It seems like the rational and sensible approach.
I don't have a problem with it, so long as nobody is being deceptive. If OP says to the guy, "Hey, I'm likely to leave you, and I'd like you to get a vasectomy before I do," then no problem, all adults.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:20
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
I don't know why so many people are going berserk over this. It seems like the rational and sensible approach.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:20
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sometimes, I am convinced that the immature people get married. The rational ones stay single until they can find a soul mate.
My ex-husband has found his soulmate at least six time since we got divorced. Imagine my DC’s situation, if he’d had babies with them all.
But he didn’t so your story is completely irrelevant, so move along. Thanks for this non-contribution.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 16:18
Subject: Re:Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
If you can stay with him OP I'd do it. Only to have your kids under the same roof, plus there's nothing out there if you look around. If he's a cheater you better have him get a V either way. So he disappointed you...who cares about him. It's all about your kids imo.
No and no.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 15:52
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:you are batshit crazy!
My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.
His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.
Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.
Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch.
LOL
You tricked him and accidentally on purpose got pregnant. He's not even divorced, you're only the OW!
Now he's stuck, he has to be with one of you because he can't afford to pay 2 women. Wait and see, if he's smart he'll run those numbers. Then realize it's cheaper to stay with his wife and kids.
You're a great case for men to get a vasectomy once they their family! I agree with you OP!
All of a sudden the people against the V for a divorcing dad are rethinking it.
She couldn't get a ring so she got pregnant. Typical. Pathetic.
Anonymous
08/05/2019 15:47
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:you are batshit crazy!
My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.
His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.
Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.
Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch.
LOL
You tricked him and accidentally on purpose got pregnant. He's not even divorced, you're only the OW!
Now he's stuck, he has to be with one of you because he can't afford to pay 2 women. Wait and see, if he's smart he'll run those numbers. Then realize it's cheaper to stay with his wife and kids.
You're a great case for men to get a vasectomy once they their family! I agree with you OP!
Anonymous
08/05/2019 15:29
Subject: Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.
If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.
Pay attention, Ladies. DCUM has been especially enlightening about male attitudes this week.
Any nudes you send him, he will share with his buddies.
Men marry for sex.
Be able to support any kids he fathers with you all on your own.
Keep ‘em coming, guys. This is going to spare a lot of women.
And this thread also shows how many females view men and quite frankly it's terrifying.
Pay attention men:
You are a walking wallet. Any woman you marry will make sure you pay her way for the rest of your working life. Of course cough cough it's for the children.
As a man you cannot have any say over her fertility or her body however she will feel like she can have a say over yours.
Forget honesty, you will be manipulated and lied to for her to achieve the result best suited for HER.
You actually don’t know how child support works, do you?
It stops at 18 in the vast majority of cases. 21 in a few states and DC. Unless your kids with that ex-wife are a decade or more apart in age, CS is going to be a short obligation on your part and a brief benefit for her and the kids.
It is also typically a low sum unless you are a multi-millionaire (and we know YOU and most of your audience aren’t) so hardly enough to fully support the exwife and kids.
And unless you stopped having at kids at age 50, paying even 18 years of child support won’t be for the rest of your working life. Let’s be honest that you were never going to be able to retire early anyway.
Funny, so many assumptions you make. I'm female and will be retiring before 68 years old. From money I made FYI.
As a female I am a little horrified at some of the thought processes on this thread. There are some really low females posting here. Really really low.
Some appalling women. Don't any of you have sons?
1 son, 1 daughter. And I’m OP. It’s not like I’m trying to take something from him, he doesn’t want more children. He has been given two children, I’ve been pretty generous IMO. I gave him so much. Why is it too much to ask that he give me this security?
Of course he should get a V! This will save him from accidentally getting someone pregnant. Many women will say they take birth control and stop because they want to cement the deal. You can get pregnant with condoms, so yes it's common sense.
If you can stay with him OP I'd do it. Only to have your kids under the same roof, plus there's nothing out there if you look around. If he's a cheater you better have him get a V either way. So he disappointed you...who cares about him. It's all about your kids imo.