Anonymous wrote:The difference PP is that dealing with young kids AND aging parents AND perimeter pause is an absolute shitty way to live most days. I’m 46 with a 6 year old and parents and I laws with dementia and broken hip and Parkinson’s. My career is great but also being high level means I have to stay at that level and it’s soul crushing and demanding every minute of the day. Every day is a negotiation and prayer that notbin. Goes wrong, no one gets sick, the metro Isn’t delayed etc. every damn day is grinding and fees like a house of cards. I don’t regret my kid, I regret the losers I wasted time dating in my 20s and 30s which is why my marriage and kid were so delayed.

Anonymous wrote: We’re not there yet, but I’m 46 with a four-year-old. It gets weird already. Still, i’d rather have a life with her than not. We may or may not miss a decade or two together, but we sure are enjoying the ones we have!

Anonymous wrote:We had all four of our kids before they turned 30, still managed to fit in grad school, made good money, gave them a great upbringing -- and were empty nesters before turning 50. We retired a couple years later and are now hands on grandparents of elementary school kids in our late 50s -- hands on when we're not traveling, that is.

I can't imagine having little kids in yours 50s. It's not natural.

Anonymous wrote:We had all four of our kids before they turned 30, still managed to fit in grad school, made good money, gave them a great upbringing -- and were empty nesters before turning 50. We retired a couple years later and are now hands on grandparents of elementary school kids in our late 50s -- hands on when we're not traveling, that is.

I can't imagine having little kids in yours 50s. It's not natural.

Anonymous wrote:We had all four of our kids before they turned 30, still managed to fit in grad school, made good money, gave them a great upbringing -- and were empty nesters before turning 50. We retired a couple years later and are now hands on grandparents of elementary school kids in our late 50s -- hands on when we're not traveling, that is.

I can't imagine having little kids in yours 50s. It's not natural.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am surprised how much traction this thread has had. I never said my kids' ages: 9 and 4 and we are 50 and 56. I don't feel that raising kids is any more exhausting at my age than if I had had them younger. Kids are exhausting no matter what.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 54 YO Mom with a just turned 8 DD. She was our miracle surprise baby after 5 rounds of IVF to get her older brother who is 11. I had her when I was 46–I often think how young I was when her brother was born! I remember the parenting class at VHC in Arlington when he was born—I think I was the youngest mom in attendance at 42!

That doesn't sound too bad but then you do the math and you'll be 64 when she graduates high school? I can't fathom it.

I'm an older parent who had older parents. My dad was 50 when I was born, my mom was 46. I was a "surprise" addition to their large family. When my dad was 90, he told me: "Thanks for always making me feel young." When you have older parents, you don't think it's weird because it's your life. It's what you know. I loved my parents' perspective. They were never rattled, they were unflappable, they had seen it all. They had a wisdom and a quiet confidence that the younger parents could never have. I feel very lucky to have had older parents.

Thank you for sharing this perspective. It is really nice.

Anonymous wrote:^ I agree!

I “waited” because I didn’t get married until 37 (and didn’t meet until 36). First at 37, second at 39.

Kinda wish I was younger, but sometimes the choice isn’t have a kid when younger versus have a kid when older. In my case, the choice was have a kid when older versus not have kids.