Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would bet that the step dad shops for none of these gifts. He probably tells the mother what to buy for his kids and doesn't have any idea what mom buys her own kid/SIL/grandchild.

Agree. Also, the mother’s love language is clearly gifts. Which puts more sting in the afterthought joint gift card.

This makes no sense to me.

Stepdad asks his wife to buy specific gifts with his money to give to his daughters, and the wife does it. And?

Maybe the wife won't buy expensive gifts for her own daughter/grandchildren because she feels it's not her money and she gets what she can afford on her income for her own daughter and grandchildren?

Anonymous wrote:I would bet that the step dad shops for none of these gifts. He probably tells the mother what to buy for his kids and doesn't have any idea what mom buys her own kid/SIL/grandchild.

Agree. Also, the mother’s love language is clearly gifts. Which puts more sting in the afterthought joint gift card.

OP's stepdad can get whatever he wants for his daughters. However her mom is either completely clueless or enjoys rubbing it in if she keeps telling OP about all the minute details of their lavish gifts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why this bothers OP. I think it starts to introduce all sorts of hard feelings when family members are treated differently. Both my mom and dad are gone, so my only living parent is my stepmom. She treats all the siblings and grandkids equally in gift giving, as was the case when my dad was alive. Also, we’re not an extravagant gift giving family, which I think also makes a difference. Each of us get about $100 or so in gifts, even when we were in our teens and twenties.

Your situation is different in that she probably had a hand in raising you. In OP's case, this man is just the guy her mom married. No other connection to him and yet she belittles the fact that he spoils his daughters.

Where are you getting this from?

You are really projecting.

OP is upset that her mom has such a part in indulging these girls, telling her all about it and asking her to help pick out these expensive gifts, while pushing her to the side.

It's pretty easy to infer from OP's post that her mom married the stepdad when OP was in her 20s. In other words, OP was already an adult and grown up and out of the house or in college. At least she should have been. I wouldn't classify it as a stepdad that came into your life when you were a kid and lived in the same house as you when you were growing up.

I remember still getting nice and expensive gifts when I was in college and early 20s but by the time I was 30 they had stopped because I was a fully independent grown up. I can see why OP may feel a bit left out but she's also coming across as materialistic and entitled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why this bothers OP. I think it starts to introduce all sorts of hard feelings when family members are treated differently. Both my mom and dad are gone, so my only living parent is my stepmom. She treats all the siblings and grandkids equally in gift giving, as was the case when my dad was alive. Also, we’re not an extravagant gift giving family, which I think also makes a difference. Each of us get about $100 or so in gifts, even when we were in our teens and twenties.

Your situation is different in that she probably had a hand in raising you. In OP's case, this man is just the guy her mom married. No other connection to him and yet she belittles the fact that he spoils his daughters.

Where are you getting this from?

You are really projecting.

OP is upset that her mom has such a part in indulging these girls, telling her all about it and asking her to help pick out these expensive gifts, while pushing her to the side.

Actually, what is wrong with asking OP to help pick out gifts? It's not OP's money nor her mom's. OP is not being pushed to the side. If that were the case, why would her mom ask for her input on the gifts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ It needs to be more equal because OPs mom is her mom.

It’s not about the stepdad - it’s about OPs mom spending so much time planning great gifts for her stepdaughters and giving OP an afterthought gift card.

You only read what you want to read. OP has stated that she knows it's her mom's husband's money and she thinks it wouldnt hurt him to treat her the same. It means that it is about the stepdad because stepdad=$$$$. Mom wouldnt be able to do any gifting or planning if not for $$$$.

You only read what you want to be.

You completely lack perspective and are cherry picking a single comment made by OP to shape your narrative. And you are hijacking OPs thread to try to shape it to the story you want to read, perhaps because you have so little insight to offer.

Are you "non bio grandma"?

Or a stepmother yourself?

My insight is that OP is being unreasonable. Her expectations are the kind you expect from a five-year-old. She is being petty.

Quit trolling OPs thread

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why this bothers OP. I think it starts to introduce all sorts of hard feelings when family members are treated differently. Both my mom and dad are gone, so my only living parent is my stepmom. She treats all the siblings and grandkids equally in gift giving, as was the case when my dad was alive. Also, we’re not an extravagant gift giving family, which I think also makes a difference. Each of us get about $100 or so in gifts, even when we were in our teens and twenties.

Your situation is different in that she probably had a hand in raising you. In OP's case, this man is just the guy her mom married. No other connection to him and yet she belittles the fact that he spoils his daughters.

Where are you getting this from?

You are really projecting.

OP is upset that her mom has such a part in indulging these girls, telling her all about it and asking her to help pick out these expensive gifts, while pushing her to the side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ It needs to be more equal because OPs mom is her mom.

It’s not about the stepdad - it’s about OPs mom spending so much time planning great gifts for her stepdaughters and giving OP an afterthought gift card.

You only read what you want to read. OP has stated that she knows it's her mom's husband's money and she thinks it wouldnt hurt him to treat her the same. It means that it is about the stepdad because stepdad=$$$$. Mom wouldnt be able to do any gifting or planning if not for $$$$.

You only read what you want to be.

You completely lack perspective and are cherry picking a single comment made by OP to shape your narrative. And you are hijacking OPs thread to try to shape it to the story you want to read, perhaps because you have so little insight to offer.

Are you "non bio grandma"?

Or a stepmother yourself?

My insight is that OP is being unreasonable. Her expectations are the kind you expect from a five-year-old. She is being petty.

Anonymous wrote:I totally get why this bothers OP. I think it starts to introduce all sorts of hard feelings when family members are treated differently. Both my mom and dad are gone, so my only living parent is my stepmom. She treats all the siblings and grandkids equally in gift giving, as was the case when my dad was alive. Also, we’re not an extravagant gift giving family, which I think also makes a difference. Each of us get about $100 or so in gifts, even when we were in our teens and twenties.

Your situation is different in that she probably had a hand in raising you. In OP's case, this man is just the guy her mom married. No other connection to him and yet she belittles the fact that he spoils his daughters.

I totally get why this bothers OP. I think it starts to introduce all sorts of hard feelings when family members are treated differently. Both my mom and dad are gone, so my only living parent is my stepmom. She treats all the siblings and grandkids equally in gift giving, as was the case when my dad was alive. Also, we’re not an extravagant gift giving family, which I think also makes a difference. Each of us get about $100 or so in gifts, even when we were in our teens and twenties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you don’t have a close enough relationship with your mom, OP to just tell her how you feel. That sucks.

For one it's spousal money. The mother should have made sure her daughter received a equal present.

Also, OP you could have given her a hint saying you would enjoy a mac, or would have liked to be included on the trip.

If OP doesn't speak up now it's going to be worse with the grand-kids down the road.

Please find a different thread to troll.

You cherry picked one sentence and are derailing her thread to create the narrative you want to see.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ It needs to be more equal because OPs mom is her mom.

It’s not about the stepdad - it’s about OPs mom spending so much time planning great gifts for her stepdaughters and giving OP an afterthought gift card.

You only read what you want to read. OP has stated that she knows it's her mom's husband's money and she thinks it wouldnt hurt him to treat her the same. It means that it is about the stepdad because stepdad=$$$$. Mom wouldnt be able to do any gifting or planning if not for $$$$.

You only read what you want to be.

You completely lack perspective and are cherry picking a single comment made by OP to shape your narrative. And you are hijacking OPs thread to try to shape it to the story you want to read, perhaps because you have so little insight to offer.

Are you "non bio grandma"?

Or a stepmother yourself?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you don’t have a close enough relationship with your mom, OP to just tell her how you feel. That sucks.

For one it's spousal money. The mother should have made sure her daughter received a equal present.

Also, OP you could have given her a hint saying you would enjoy a mac, or would have liked to be included on the trip.

If OP doesn't speak up now it's going to be worse with the grand-kids down the road.

Good god no. The entitlement in this thread is off the charts.

Ikr?! Why should the mom make sure that her daughter received the same just because??? It doesn't make sense. PP already said it's the husband's money
.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you don’t have a close enough relationship with your mom, OP to just tell her how you feel. That sucks.

For one it's spousal money. The mother should have made sure her daughter received a equal present.

Also, OP you could have given her a hint saying you would enjoy a mac, or would have liked to be included on the trip.

If OP doesn't speak up now it's going to be worse with the grand-kids down the road.

Good god no. The entitlement in this thread is off the charts.

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you don’t have a close enough relationship with your mom, OP to just tell her how you feel. That sucks.

For one it's spousal money. The mother should have made sure her daughter received a equal present.

Also, OP you could have given her a hint saying you would enjoy a mac, or would have liked to be included on the trip.

If OP doesn't speak up now it's going to be worse with the grand-kids down the road.