Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

It’s not at all hard to consider that some kids are well served in public schools with an iEP and some are not, and that some kids are well served in mainstream privates with supports and others are well served in sN privates.
What I do find hard to consider is a parent who will look at a ton of different options and not even look at or understand her public options.
You are under no obligation to send your kid to the public school if you get an evaluation and learn what services are available for your child.
That seems like helpful information so that you can make the best decision possible with all the relevant info.

You are making a bold assumption to assume she hasn't. Why do you care if she prefers private over public? Some kids are better served in public, others are not. The choice is hers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

It’s not at all hard to consider that some kids are well served in public schools with an iEP and some are not, and that some kids are well served in mainstream privates with supports and others are well served in sN privates.
What I do find hard to consider is a parent who will look at a ton of different options and not even look at or understand her public options.
You are under no obligation to send your kid to the public school if you get an evaluation and learn what services are available for your child.
That seems like helpful information so that you can make the best decision possible with all the relevant info.

Anonymous wrote:My DC applied to mainstream (not top) privates a few years ago and did not get accepted. We hired an advocate to help put the necessary supports and accommodations in the IEP. He's fully mainstreamed, and so far has friends and teacher who are very understanding and inclusive (he's invited to birthday parties and playdates). Obviously, he still has issues with social skills, self-regulation and occasionally has meltdown in class; however, I'm sure the issues wouldn't have disappeared if he were in a private SN/mainstream school.
The large class size (almost 30 kids) is surprisingly an advantage because it creates a larger poll of kids to connect with.

Thank you for this. Your comment about class size providing additional social opportunities is a very good one, at least in my opinion. It’s something that I have thought about. As of now we need smaller class size. Hopefully, larger classes will be a viable option at some point in the future.

My DC applied to mainstream (not top) privates a few years ago and did not get accepted. We hired an advocate to help put the necessary supports and accommodations in the IEP. He's fully mainstreamed, and so far has friends and teacher who are very understanding and inclusive (he's invited to birthday parties and playdates). Obviously, he still has issues with social skills, self-regulation and occasionally has meltdown in class; however, I'm sure the issues wouldn't have disappeared if he were in a private SN/mainstream school.
The large class size (almost 30 kids) is surprisingly an advantage because it creates a larger poll of kids to connect with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bit dated, but here's an interesting discussion about how parents of NT kids feel about ADS kids being in the independent schools.
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/447939.page

Interesting.

Thanks for sharing this. I have one child (NT) who is in a top private and there is a child in his class who is on the spectrum. The parents have been very open about it. The child does fantastically in academics. The child is socially awkward and at least one teacher has become frustrated by that awkwardness which in the grand scheme of things is not really that awkward or disruptive. It's just talking too much, too loud and out of turn. The kids are very friendly and treat the child like any other child in the class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

Ok then, name the private, and whether you disclosed the diagnosis upon application. I absolutely know that some parents are dissatisfied with public IEPs. But not all. The few I know and myself are very satisfied so far. The idea that there's this wealth of "regular privates" that will a) accept kids with ASD diagnoses and b) serve their needs, just does not ring true to a lot of us.

Among other things, I think we're trying to compile a list of mainstream private(s) where it's worth a phone call, assuming the neuropsych suggests it would/might work. I would expect that a school willing to consider the placement would want to know there's a decent fit, reviewing the test reports, talking to the parents, and meeting the kid, perhaps observing them in their current school setting.

Again, I would always focus on recommended and look around at all schools and call. Online ours got terrible reviews for kids with SN. In reality it was kids with behavioral issues, not developmental delays and they were very supportive to developmental delays. Its a school almost no one has heard of. Some of the big ones can easily fill their slots so they may not be as open to SN. We also looked at some Catholics and ruled them out due to the religious aspect. Some were very welcoming and had a resource teacher and one school was very willing but others were not (but it may have not been the SN so much as other things like religion).

I would not have expected parochial schools to be super inclusive, but what I've read has been reassuring. It seems to vary a lot though. I'm hoping someone on this board will have experience/names to share.

I wasn't either and I looked at several. Two were not a good fit (nothing to do with my child specifically but the schools themselves and our values, etc.) but one would have been a good choice (none in VA so it wouldn't help you). They had a resource teacher and said they walk kids over with IEP's to the public school for speech, OT and other services. I was also told about another school but distance wise it would have been too hard. Just something to consider if you are ok with the religious part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

Ok then, name the private, and whether you disclosed the diagnosis upon application. I absolutely know that some parents are dissatisfied with public IEPs. But not all. The few I know and myself are very satisfied so far. The idea that there's this wealth of "regular privates" that will a) accept kids with ASD diagnoses and b) serve their needs, just does not ring true to a lot of us.

Among other things, I think we're trying to compile a list of mainstream private(s) where it's worth a phone call, assuming the neuropsych suggests it would/might work. I would expect that a school willing to consider the placement would want to know there's a decent fit, reviewing the test reports, talking to the parents, and meeting the kid, perhaps observing them in their current school setting.

Again, I would always focus on recommended and look around at all schools and call. Online ours got terrible reviews for kids with SN. In reality it was kids with behavioral issues, not developmental delays and they were very supportive to developmental delays. Its a school almost no one has heard of. Some of the big ones can easily fill their slots so they may not be as open to SN. We also looked at some Catholics and ruled them out due to the religious aspect. Some were very welcoming and had a resource teacher and one school was very willing but others were not (but it may have not been the SN so much as other things like religion).

I would not have expected parochial schools to be super inclusive, but what I've read has been reassuring. It seems to vary a lot though. I'm hoping someone on this board will have experience/names to share.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

Ok then, name the private, and whether you disclosed the diagnosis upon application. I absolutely know that some parents are dissatisfied with public IEPs. But not all. The few I know and myself are very satisfied so far. The idea that there's this wealth of "regular privates" that will a) accept kids with ASD diagnoses and b) serve their needs, just does not ring true to a lot of us.

Among other things, I think we're trying to compile a list of mainstream private(s) where it's worth a phone call, assuming the neuropsych suggests it would/might work. I would expect that a school willing to consider the placement would want to know there's a decent fit, reviewing the test reports, talking to the parents, and meeting the kid, perhaps observing them in their current school setting.

Again, I would always focus on recommended and look around at all schools and call. Online ours got terrible reviews for kids with SN. In reality it was kids with behavioral issues, not developmental delays and they were very supportive to developmental delays. Its a school almost no one has heard of. Some of the big ones can easily fill their slots so they may not be as open to SN. We also looked at some Catholics and ruled them out due to the religious aspect. Some were very welcoming and had a resource teacher and one school was very willing but others were not (but it may have not been the SN so much as other things like religion).

Anonymous wrote:A bit dated, but here's an interesting discussion about how parents of NT kids feel about ADS kids being in the independent schools.


http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/447939.page

Interesting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

OP here. I completely understand why you're asking the question. My main concern is classroom size in the mainstream public classes. I also have a presumption that the SEL is stronger in some of the privates, which has been pointed out to me as potentially erroneous and also has drawn some criticism from this board.

If you are in a title one or focus school (meaning lower income levels of parents), the class sizes will be smaller. Publics are usually 16-30 kids per class. Our school has a special needs class that all kids regardless of needs are forced into. It was a terrible fit for my child. They had more teacher and staff but they only focused on the high needs kids. If you look at small unknown privates, especially ones that just go through 1st-2nd you may have better luck with more of a wiliness and small classes. Don't worry about a k-8 or k-12, just focus on what you need for the next 2-3 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

Ok then, name the private, and whether you disclosed the diagnosis upon application. I absolutely know that some parents are dissatisfied with public IEPs. But not all. The few I know and myself are very satisfied so far. The idea that there's this wealth of "regular privates" that will a) accept kids with ASD diagnoses and b) serve their needs, just does not ring true to a lot of us.

It was a preschool to 1st grade school and I wouldn't recommend it anymore due to staffing changes, as I've said. It is not the same school that we went to. Yes, of course I discussed all the concerns, not just the diagnosis and my child did a 1/2 there and after accepted 2 weeks in the summer to get adjusted prior to school starting. Why do you assume people don't disclose. It was pretty obvious what was going on with my child. You keep forgetting ASD is a catch all and looks different for every child. Now, it would be a non-issue and my child could probably get into a non-super competitive school and thrive. At some point we will go back to private as we aren't happy with the curriculum. My child has good test scores, good grades (only a few B's) and is fine without supports (though those B's could be A's if the teacher cared to help for a minute). Mine outgrew most of the concerns that were identified from 2-6. Your child is clearly different than mine so a mainstream private may not work but it did for us. We did services outside school and they were flexible if we had to pick up early and that was part of the key to a private. Many parents expect the schools to provide everything and we had no expectation of that and continued services outside.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

OP here. I completely understand why you're asking the question. My main concern is classroom size in the mainstream public classes. I also have a presumption that the SEL is stronger in some of the privates, which has been pointed out to me as potentially erroneous and also has drawn some criticism from this board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

Ok then, name the private, and whether you disclosed the diagnosis upon application. I absolutely know that some parents are dissatisfied with public IEPs. But not all. The few I know and myself are very satisfied so far. The idea that there's this wealth of "regular privates" that will a) accept kids with ASD diagnoses and b) serve their needs, just does not ring true to a lot of us.

Among other things, I think we're trying to compile a list of mainstream private(s) where it's worth a phone call, assuming the neuropsych suggests it would/might work. I would expect that a school willing to consider the placement would want to know there's a decent fit, reviewing the test reports, talking to the parents, and meeting the kid, perhaps observing them in their current school setting.

Anonymous wrote:OP keep Commonwealth on your list for later.

Will do. Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're doing yourself and your child a real disservice if you don't at least start the IEP process and understand what your options are in your public school district. Why in the world wouldn't you want all available information when making this decision? A lot of your stereotypes (such as "spotty SEL" curriculum) are wrong about special needs in public schools. It's always better to get facts and to understand what is available for *your* child rather than just assuming what is or isn't there.

Why? Public has not been great for us. IEP is a joke and not even worth the paper it is written on. It really is school and child specific. If they can and want to go private, why is that such an issue for you? If they need an IEP later on they can get one.

Because some parents feel their kids are well-served by IEPs and public. That may not be the case for OP, but it's not rational for her not to even consider this option. I have no issue with her going private; just confused about the situation.

And, other of us don't feel our kids are well served with IEP's and public. Why is that so hard to consider? Why is it hard to consider some of us have had great experiences in a regular private and just did services privately, which is what OP wants to do?

Ok then, name the private, and whether you disclosed the diagnosis upon application. I absolutely know that some parents are dissatisfied with public IEPs. But not all. The few I know and myself are very satisfied so far. The idea that there's this wealth of "regular privates" that will a) accept kids with ASD diagnoses and b) serve their needs, just does not ring true to a lot of us.