Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are enough women getting beaten in this world, I am not going to contribute to that by hitting my own daughter. Parents who spank are ill ignorant and lack much needed skills to deal with stress. I would stop being friends with a mom who spanked.

What you refuse to even consider is that spanking is not a means to deal with stress. It's a discipline tool. When you put your daughter in time out is that a means to deal with stress or a tool you use to teach her something. When you take something away from your daughter to teach her a lesson is that a means to deal with stress or a discipline tool. Spanking is a discipline tool used by some/many parents. It should be done in a controlled manner. What is truly a pity is that even given the 13 pages of comments on both sides of the fence, those who don't spank continue to paint those who do as barbaric and ignorant etc. If you choose not to spank no problem. But who is being ignorant when one dismisses those who do spank unequivocally and then proceeds to state that if you become aware of a friend who spanks their kid you will cease to be friends immediately.

Anonymous wrote:there are enough women getting beaten in this world, I am not going to contribute to that by hitting my own daughter. Parents who spank are ill ignorant and lack much needed skills to deal with stress. I would stop being friends with a mom who spanked.

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't spanked. I don't spank my kids. I also don't scream at them, drag them around by their arms, or abuse them emotionally.

I find spanking to be abusive, pure and simple. I don't care if you think you're disciplining your children gently. I don't care if you think that your methods are more effective or less harmful in the long run than other methods. I don't care if you think that my kids are spoiled. If you hit your child, ever, for any reason, I consider that abuse, the same way I would consider it abusive if you ever, for any reason, hit your spouse or your pet.

Spankers spend a lot of time justifying their behavior. First they say that sometimes, they have spanked their child in the heat of the moment when the child does something unsafe (e.g., ran into the street, spanked), and they justify this decision as being a) a decision that they made consciously (despite it being in the heat of the moment) and b) acceptable because it's a real safety issue and they don't use that method regularly. Then another spanker will chime in and say that when they spank, they do so without emotion - take child to a private place, explain why the child will be spanked, spank, and then hug them to "repair the relationship." How is this not teaching a child that someone can hit you to punish you but that it's okay as long as they then show you love afterward? If an adult woman came to you and said that her husband hit her because she did something that he disapproved of, but that it was okay because he did it in private, explained why he was going to hit her, and then hugged and kissed her afterward, would you not consider that to be a pretty messed up relationship with physical and emotional abuse?

If I found myself friends with someone who spanked her children and felt the need to qualify to me when, where, and how she hit her children, we would cease to be friends immediately.

Anonymous wrote:there are enough women getting beaten in this world, I am not going to contribute to that by hitting my own daughter. Parents who spank are ill ignorant and lack much needed skills to deal with stress. I would stop being friends with a mom who spanked.

Anonymous wrote:Lack of spanking, helicoptering , psycho drugs, pc, and gender confusion is leading to plummeting sper m counts in western countries.

Anonymous wrote:I was spanked as a child and I honestly can only remember one spanking out of the many that I'm sure I got. I remember what it was for. That's it. I don't remember any of the others. I'm 40 years and I'm amazed at how many of you vividly remember your spankings.

Anonymous wrote:
My mom spanked me once as a child. I laughed in her face. They switched to talking/explaining because they decided spanking wasn't right for me/them. I laughed in their faces. They did consequences I did what I wanted and gladly accepted the consequences if I decided it was worth it. I was kind of an asshole. I'm going to call my mom.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is nuts. I wouldn't have expected these sentiments from this demographic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
People who do not spank usually give other "consequences" or punishments

Consequences and punishments are not the same, and the fact that you think they are says a lot about why you end up in situations with your kid where you feel like spanking is the best option.

A punishment is one type of consequence. Big deal. A penny is one type of coin. You calling this out and acting superior for it is useless.

Anonymous wrote:Np here. Have not read all the pages.

I was both spanked on my bare butt by my dad and hit in anger (swatted, pinched, hair pulled) by my mom.

Both sucked. I remember my dad getting angry because I wouldn’t move my hand away from my bare bottom.

So now I have anger issues. When I get mad at my kids I want to hit them. Maybe it’s genes. I’m doing really well though. DH and I don’t hit our kids.

I’m hoping my kids won’t have an inclination to hit their kids when they grow up.

I have a great relationship with my parents otherwise. But when I think of my abuse I get physically worked up and dick feeling.

Anonymous wrote:I was spanked as a child and I honestly can only remember one spanking out of the many that I'm sure I got. I remember what it was for. That's it. I don't remember any of the others. I'm 40 years and I'm amazed at how many of you vividly remember your spankings.