Anonymous wrote:You lost me at "this behavior is very normal in the office environment."

Prepare to be fired.

--employment defense lawyer

What is an employment defense lawyer? I mean, besides something a 12 year old would conjure.

You lost me at "this behavior is very normal in the office environment."

Prepare to be fired.

--employment defense lawyer

This thread is hilarious.

Majority of women claiming that they do not enjoy it and another good portion claiming the men that do it are gross and clueless, yet the front page of this sub is literally chocked full of tales of workplace affairs.

I'm a 42 year old man, full head of hair, decent shape, well dressed, well groomed, have been told I'm handsome all my life... and not a month has gone by in my professional career without me noticing a female coworker glancing at my crotch. Probably closer to every week or two. I'm sure people will yell troll but I don't care. I've experienced it literally hundreds of times at a half dozen different companies and with 50 different women.

The amount of times I have been touched- unnecessarily and unwanted is in the double digits. It's always a hand on the the back while passing in the kitchen or a tap on the arm during a joke or a hand on a shoulder as she's getting seated at the conference table, but it happens a lot. This is touching that my wife would not approve of, if that's any measure of appropriateness.

And no, I've never cheated on my wife nor would I.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy (happily married Dad) posting. I may be confused. If I tell a woman I like her earrings, is that flirting? Does it matter if she is working the Checkout at my local bagel place, versus she is a parent of one of my kids’ classmates, versus someone who works in my building? I always thought I was just being friendly, but maybe you’re telling me I’m flirting without realizing it (or at least you think I’m flirting). If I tell you I like your earrings, it’s because I like them, not because I want to make out with you.

If you would compliment a man's jewelry then maybe you're just being nice. If you wouldn't, then you're absolutely flirting by mentioning earrings because there is a gendered, sexual component to your flattery.

NP. Another guy here. Oh good. I’m always telling my make coworkers how I like their shirts or shoes as well as if a female coworker has a nice scarf or skirt.

And generally it’s great between people I know.

I did have the young and pretty intern compliment my shirt while giving me intense eye contact and it honestly flustered me to the point I kind of avoid her b/c I suddenly felt disarmingly attracted to her. I don’t work directly with her so it’s not a professional issue, but I am just afraid I will be obvious in my attraction.

I’m not good looking enough to have that effect on anyone but I do keep compliments to people I know well.

Good looking younger men are most welcome to flirt. No balding fatties please!

I’m getting really sick of local people on linkedin hitting on me, just based on my LinkedIn photo and job path? Yuck

Anonymous wrote:Even though a woman is married, that doesn't stop men from flirting with them. This behavior is very normal in an office environment, etc.

Woman: How do you feel when men flirt with you even though they're fully aware you are married?

1. Is it flattering?
2. Do you dislike it?
3. Does it depend on the man?
4. Do you like it?

Creeped out. Lose respect for the guy.

I hate it.

Who wants to have to have professional dealings with someone who has told you he thinks you are « hot. »

It is inappropriate and infuriating

Not at work. Yuck. It just sets up a very awkward interaction from there on out.

Anywhere else, especially those passing moments when you know you'll never see the person again? Love it.

But please don't flirt if we need to have any sort of ongoing friendly or professional relationship. Let it be just a random moment of attention from a stranger.

Anonymous wrote:I flirt with all kinds of people, including married women, all the time. But I do not hit on them. The fundamental issue is intent: Making someone laugh and feel comfortable is far different than pursuit.

Making someone laugh and feel comfortable isn't flirting. My dad tells good jokes and offers me snacks and beer when I come visit. That's not flirting. Must be an element you're leaving out in that description.

I flirt with all kinds of people, including married women, all the time. But I do not hit on them. The fundamental issue is intent: Making someone laugh and feel comfortable is far different than pursuit.

Usually, the flirting started by men is extremely mild as they are trying to see if you are receptive. If I ignore it then men don't continue. If I flirt back it escalates slightly. If I ignore it at that point it does down. I think men and women know who is interested.
There are many non-verbal cues. People don't continue if you ignore it and stop smiling.

If the guy is hot, then fine. If he's not, them ew.

We notice, and it is flattering and well taken, as long as you are not too aggressive or overt, and you do not do so in a professional environment or setting.

90% of the time women married for a good while don't even recognize when a guy's flirting with them. The 10% of the time they do recognize it is only because the jerks are so obtuse and sleazy about it the women can't help but be appalled/offended.