Anonymous wrote:We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust is the way to go with this one. My FIL gave all my kids a trust. My name is not on it and if anything happens I have no right to it. I am fine with it.

I think what your FIL did is tacky. It’s implicitly stating that he cares only for the blood of his blood and nothing for the woman and mother who brought those lives into the world. I wonder what would your FIL would do if your DH became sick with cancer and passed. Leave you out on the streets but agree to take your children in and raise them?

You should take more pride in yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust is the way to go with this one. My FIL gave all my kids a trust. My name is not on it and if anything happens I have no right to it. I am fine with it.

I think what your FIL did is tacky. It’s implicitly stating that he cares only for the blood of his blood and nothing for the woman and mother who brought those lives into the world. I wonder what would your FIL would do if your DH became sick with cancer and passed. Leave you out on the streets but agree to take your children in and raise them?

You should take more pride in yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Trust is the way to go with this one. My FIL gave all my kids a trust. My name is not on it and if anything happens I have no right to it. I am fine with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.

Both my sons walked away without a home or money. The bitches got it all. Thank God we waited to give them money. Poetic justice though. Both women ended up losing their homes and living in poverty. One is giving up sex for rent. The other remarried a drunk. Hopefully they won't make the same mistakes twice.

Anonymous wrote:My aunt and uncle bought my cousin's house for them. Cousin paid (or still pays) all associated costs. His ex wife thought they were being helpful, but they didn't want to give them money.

When cousin and his wife divorced the house wasn't part of it.

MIL and FIL gave us the down payment for our house. I'm not sure anyone considered what would happen to it if we divorce.

Anonymous wrote:My DH shared his inheritance - my name was added to the 3 fully paid houses he inherited and the bank account also. But my two boys will have a trust and a pre-nup!

Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, that makes more sense.

Thanks for mansplaining how I should handle leaving my career to raise my children.

And PP - divorce surrounding money is a leading factor in bankruptcy and other financial emergencies. You lose love, maybe your kids , - but if you protected your assets you don't lose your quality of life. Or kids.

Because I can always provide for my kids I will never be in trouble. That gives me complete freedom. Lots of people on here hate their spouse but are financially trapped. We aren't, because like adults, we considered all possibilities before we wed.

LOL. Nice try, but my wife--who, by the way, is a SAHP--feels the way I do. But feel free to keep grasping. Now I'll be the "mansplainer" instead of the "bullshit woman."

Oh does she? I love hearing how people in theoretical situations deal with their imaginary money!

You're running out of people to mistrust. Can't trust my opinion because I'm a "bullshit woman." Then you can't trust it because I'm a "mansplainer." Then you can't trust my wife's because she has "imaginary money." Before I was going to lose half my wealth. Then I had nothing to lose. Now my wife is broke...

So your SAH wife has her own money?

Nope. Neither of us has "our own money", because all of the money in our accounts belongs to both of us equally.

That's great! You didn't have to walk the muddy waters of having a trust fund. As such- your opinion doesn't matter.