Anonymous wrote:Amusing how the OP asked about a parent staying home, but it morphed into SAHM. I remember before recession when millenials were first becoming parents with their idealism, the idea of SAHD was gaining traction. Now I think it is ridiculed even vilified, so many threads on DCUM how SAHD can't go to play dates because <scandal> or other ways they can't fit in with the SAHM posse in every neighborhood.

But are there any DW making it so bank that it made sense for DH to stay home. Please no stories about those man children who can't hold a job and play video games all day, but actual professional men who decided DW career took precedence.

Anonymous wrote:The amount of income a family needs for one parent to stay home varies with the family and their priorities. There is no set answer, every family just has to decide on where their own balance point is between spending money and spending time.

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Anonymous wrote:We were willing to sacrifice just about everything but necessities to keep me at home. The first few years were rough. We lived in Raleigh, North Carolina on less $50,000. My DH's income is about $160,000 now so while we are not rich, we are comfortable. We moved away from DC and $160,000 feels like a ton of money here. I went back to work part-time when our youngest started middle school and that helped as well.

We only had one car but my DH had a work vehicle. That really helped. Almost all of our vacations were trips to visit family in different parts of the country. We lived overseas for a few years so we were able to travel some then as well. I budgeted very carefully. We limited activities to one per child. We were just really careful with our money back then. It's much easier to save with one parent at home.

Our kids are grown now. Zero regrets. It was worth it for our family.

This is how it's done if you have the desire to do it. Great job!

Very few of us could command jobs over $100k in NC. That is an unusual salary for the area. Sales at SAS?

Seriously? It's the RESEARCH TRIANGLE. It has among the largest concentration of science/tech/research companies in the US. Several major universities/hospitals.

Absolutely true. I've worked for 2 IT companies with significant RTP presence. I could easily move down to RTP without a job and find one for 6 figures. I dont donit because i have familybin DC and I got into the real estate marketnin 2000. You have to be REALLY obtuse to think you can find a home outside of BFE that is habitable and with good schools for under 600k. I'm under no illusions that I'm incredibly lucky to 1. Have a high paying job in the suburbs and am able to live in the suburbs with no real commute to speak of 2. Started buying real estate in the suburbs back in 2000. Because of the incredible fortune to have been born at the right time, living in the right place, we are swimming in disposable income. I feel very sad for millenials and part of my broader financial plan involves helping my kids out as much as possible so they don't have to struggle as much as i see people now, who weren't as lucky as me.

We are a 2 income home and it is mainly to maximize this great gift we've been handed on a silver platter. But in no way will i be so ARROGANT to pretend that i made my good fortune and am somhow smarter and better than others who weren't born at the right time and in the right place.

Are you the obtuse lady? If so you need to look up the definition of obtuse because the way you use it makes me think you don't understand the definition. Using obtuse in this sentence doesn't make a lot of sense.

Oh, the irony! I love when this happens. Stupidity revealed in its full basking glory.

Again you aren't making sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a couple doing exactly what pp advocates: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/where-we-live/wp/2016/12/05/we-found-a-home-we-could-afford-after-touring-100-now-the-real-work-begins-in-making-it-livable

If you're hung up on schools and having th perfect home you'll give it a miss but look you can still have a low cost mortgage even today.

Pretty sure they do t have kids. That's why people get 'hung up' on schools; in long run paying for more expensive house is cheaper than private school.

And it sounds like the SAHMs 'job' will be managing the renovation of the old house, they have pretty extensive plans to add value.

Anonymous wrote:Here's a couple doing exactly what pp advocates: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/where-we-live/wp/2016/12/05/we-found-a-home-we-could-afford-after-touring-100-now-the-real-work-begins-in-making-it-livable

If you're hung up on schools and having th perfect home you'll give it a miss but look you can still have a low cost mortgage even today.

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Anonymous wrote:We were willing to sacrifice just about everything but necessities to keep me at home. The first few years were rough. We lived in Raleigh, North Carolina on less $50,000. My DH's income is about $160,000 now so while we are not rich, we are comfortable. We moved away from DC and $160,000 feels like a ton of money here. I went back to work part-time when our youngest started middle school and that helped as well.

We only had one car but my DH had a work vehicle. That really helped. Almost all of our vacations were trips to visit family in different parts of the country. We lived overseas for a few years so we were able to travel some then as well. I budgeted very carefully. We limited activities to one per child. We were just really careful with our money back then. It's much easier to save with one parent at home.

Our kids are grown now. Zero regrets. It was worth it for our family.

This is how it's done if you have the desire to do it. Great job!

Very few of us could command jobs over $100k in NC. That is an unusual salary for the area. Sales at SAS?

Seriously? It's the RESEARCH TRIANGLE. It has among the largest concentration of science/tech/research companies in the US. Several major universities/hospitals.

Absolutely true. I've worked for 2 IT companies with significant RTP presence. I could easily move down to RTP without a job and find one for 6 figures. I dont donit because i have familybin DC and I got into the real estate marketnin 2000. You have to be REALLY obtuse to think you can find a home outside of BFE that is habitable and with good schools for under 600k. I'm under no illusions that I'm incredibly lucky to 1. Have a high paying job in the suburbs and am able to live in the suburbs with no real commute to speak of 2. Started buying real estate in the suburbs back in 2000. Because of the incredible fortune to have been born at the right time, living in the right place, we are swimming in disposable income. I feel very sad for millenials and part of my broader financial plan involves helping my kids out as much as possible so they don't have to struggle as much as i see people now, who weren't as lucky as me.

We are a 2 income home and it is mainly to maximize this great gift we've been handed on a silver platter. But in no way will i be so ARROGANT to pretend that i made my good fortune and am somhow smarter and better than others who weren't born at the right time and in the right place.

Are you the obtuse lady? If so you need to look up the definition of obtuse because the way you use it makes me think you don't understand the definition. Using obtuse in this sentence doesn't make a lot of sense.

Oh, the irony! I love when this happens. Stupidity revealed in its full basking glory.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were willing to sacrifice just about everything but necessities to keep me at home. The first few years were rough. We lived in Raleigh, North Carolina on less $50,000. My DH's income is about $160,000 now so while we are not rich, we are comfortable. We moved away from DC and $160,000 feels like a ton of money here. I went back to work part-time when our youngest started middle school and that helped as well.

We only had one car but my DH had a work vehicle. That really helped. Almost all of our vacations were trips to visit family in different parts of the country. We lived overseas for a few years so we were able to travel some then as well. I budgeted very carefully. We limited activities to one per child. We were just really careful with our money back then. It's much easier to save with one parent at home.

Our kids are grown now. Zero regrets. It was worth it for our family.

This is how it's done if you have the desire to do it. Great job!

Very few of us could command jobs over $100k in NC. That is an unusual salary for the area. Sales at SAS?

Seriously? It's the RESEARCH TRIANGLE. It has among the largest concentration of science/tech/research companies in the US. Several major universities/hospitals.

Absolutely true. I've worked for 2 IT companies with significant RTP presence. I could easily move down to RTP without a job and find one for 6 figures. I dont donit because i have familybin DC and I got into the real estate marketnin 2000. You have to be REALLY obtuse to think you can find a home outside of BFE that is habitable and with good schools for under 600k. I'm under no illusions that I'm incredibly lucky to 1. Have a high paying job in the suburbs and am able to live in the suburbs with no real commute to speak of 2. Started buying real estate in the suburbs back in 2000. Because of the incredible fortune to have been born at the right time, living in the right place, we are swimming in disposable income. I feel very sad for millenials and part of my broader financial plan involves helping my kids out as much as possible so they don't have to struggle as much as i see people now, who weren't as lucky as me.

We are a 2 income home and it is mainly to maximize this great gift we've been handed on a silver platter. But in no way will i be so ARROGANT to pretend that i made my good fortune and am somhow smarter and better than others who weren't born at the right time and in the right place.

Are you the obtuse lady? If so you need to look up the definition of obtuse because the way you use it makes me think you don't understand the definition. Using obtuse in this sentence doesn't make a lot of sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I want to underscore this point because you all seem hung up on a typo. I have LITERALLY been saying the same thing for at least 8 years on this very site.

You can find houses that cost less than $600k without moving to bum-f nowhere. There are houses in the city even. You just have to change your expectations. I said this in 2008 to 2012 and suggested places like Brookland or Trinidad or Petworth and you all whined about why that wasn’t right for you and you wanted a $300k renovated house in a perfect location with amazing schools in upper NW. Now you’re complaining that Brookland and Petworth are too expensive and you can’t possibly survive on less than $300k.

WAKE UP! People do survive on less. There is a huge amount of income diversity in this city. Many of your neighbors are literally struggling to get by. Pretty much anyone that reads this site is affluent in some manner. Yes, even me on around $95k HHI.

If you can’t afford Bethesda look at Silver Spring. If you can’t afford Brookland look at Woodridge or Mount Rainier or Hyattsville. Buy a house that’s a little rundown but livable, or better yet, get a foreclosure. And if you don’t, don’t whine to me about how high your mortgage bill is and if only you’d bought your house when you were in high school. Buy a house now, that you can afford and open your eyes to different neighborhoods. In five years time, your younger siblings will be singing the same tune you are.

Definitely not a troll. Just ungracious and arrogant.

A $600k house does not have a $1400 mortgage payment. And all the neighborhoods you are suggesting have far worse schools than Bethesda, but you seem REALLY hung up renovations and appliances -- which most people don't care about, since they value commute and schools over nice and big

OP was asking for representative situations to see how folks make it work to apply to her situation; your case is exceptional and in no way similar to buying a fixer upper in Trinidad. Yet you don't seem to appreciate the good fortune you had; most of us count not buy in 2004 having just started working and having significant loans. And homes in Bethesda were not down to even $700k in 2009; You may be suggesting we become real estate speculators and a buy a home in nE which we know would not work in the long term and gamble we will appreciate and then move up? But that is a big leveraged gamble...

Since you are frothing to the point you are replying to your own posts, take a breath and consider how your situation is possible because of good fortune with your mortgage, not because you are especially thrifty.
Buy in 200

You're having trouble reading, aren't you? My house is EXACTLY the equivalent to buying a fixer upper in Trinidad ( a few years ago). Though Trinidad is now too expensive. You should have bought there a couple of years ago, when I recommended it. You're also ignoring everything I have said. You're unwilling to live somewhere without perfect schools, without perfect housing stock and without fitting your needs exactly. Well, that's why you think that starter homes start at $600k. They don't. You can find homes in the $300k range and below (and a mortgage under $2k) if you loosen up your requirements.

You don't want to loosen your requirements? That's fine, but don't tell me it's not possible to live for less than $300k (or whatever) in the DC area. Because it is.

I'm back to thinking this PP is a troll. Bethesda is exactly like Trinidad? Or maybe you are an aspiring fantasy writer?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were willing to sacrifice just about everything but necessities to keep me at home. The first few years were rough. We lived in Raleigh, North Carolina on less $50,000. My DH's income is about $160,000 now so while we are not rich, we are comfortable. We moved away from DC and $160,000 feels like a ton of money here. I went back to work part-time when our youngest started middle school and that helped as well.

We only had one car but my DH had a work vehicle. That really helped. Almost all of our vacations were trips to visit family in different parts of the country. We lived overseas for a few years so we were able to travel some then as well. I budgeted very carefully. We limited activities to one per child. We were just really careful with our money back then. It's much easier to save with one parent at home.

Our kids are grown now. Zero regrets. It was worth it for our family.

This is how it's done if you have the desire to do it. Great job!

Very few of us could command jobs over $100k in NC. That is an unusual salary for the area. Sales at SAS?

Seriously? It's the RESEARCH TRIANGLE. It has among the largest concentration of science/tech/research companies in the US. Several major universities/hospitals.

Absolutely true. I've worked for 2 IT companies with significant RTP presence. I could easily move down to RTP without a job and find one for 6 figures. I dont donit because i have familybin DC and I got into the real estate marketnin 2000. You have to be REALLY obtuse to think you can find a home outside of BFE that is habitable and with good schools for under 600k. I'm under no illusions that I'm incredibly lucky to 1. Have a high paying job in the suburbs and am able to live in the suburbs with no real commute to speak of 2. Started buying real estate in the suburbs back in 2000. Because of the incredible fortune to have been born at the right time, living in the right place, we are swimming in disposable income. I feel very sad for millenials and part of my broader financial plan involves helping my kids out as much as possible so they don't have to struggle as much as i see people now, who weren't as lucky as me.

We are a 2 income home and it is mainly to maximize this great gift we've been handed on a silver platter. But in no way will i be so ARROGANT to pretend that i made my good fortune and am somhow smarter and better than others who weren't born at the right time and in the right place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were willing to sacrifice just about everything but necessities to keep me at home. The first few years were rough. We lived in Raleigh, North Carolina on less $50,000. My DH's income is about $160,000 now so while we are not rich, we are comfortable. We moved away from DC and $160,000 feels like a ton of money here. I went back to work part-time when our youngest started middle school and that helped as well.

We only had one car but my DH had a work vehicle. That really helped. Almost all of our vacations were trips to visit family in different parts of the country. We lived overseas for a few years so we were able to travel some then as well. I budgeted very carefully. We limited activities to one per child. We were just really careful with our money back then. It's much easier to save with one parent at home.

Our kids are grown now. Zero regrets. It was worth it for our family.

This is how it's done if you have the desire to do it. Great job!

Very few of us could command jobs over $100k in NC. That is an unusual salary for the area. Sales at SAS?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were willing to sacrifice just about everything but necessities to keep me at home. The first few years were rough. We lived in Raleigh, North Carolina on less $50,000. My DH's income is about $160,000 now so while we are not rich, we are comfortable. We moved away from DC and $160,000 feels like a ton of money here. I went back to work part-time when our youngest started middle school and that helped as well.

We only had one car but my DH had a work vehicle. That really helped. Almost all of our vacations were trips to visit family in different parts of the country. We lived overseas for a few years so we were able to travel some then as well. I budgeted very carefully. We limited activities to one per child. We were just really careful with our money back then. It's much easier to save with one parent at home.

Our kids are grown now. Zero regrets. It was worth it for our family.

This is how it's done if you have the desire to do it. Great job!

Very few of us could command jobs over $100k in NC. That is an unusual salary for the area. Sales at SAS?

Seriously? It's the RESEARCH TRIANGLE. It has among the largest concentration of science/tech/research companies in the US. Several major universities/hospitals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were willing to sacrifice just about everything but necessities to keep me at home. The first few years were rough. We lived in Raleigh, North Carolina on less $50,000. My DH's income is about $160,000 now so while we are not rich, we are comfortable. We moved away from DC and $160,000 feels like a ton of money here. I went back to work part-time when our youngest started middle school and that helped as well.

We only had one car but my DH had a work vehicle. That really helped. Almost all of our vacations were trips to visit family in different parts of the country. We lived overseas for a few years so we were able to travel some then as well. I budgeted very carefully. We limited activities to one per child. We were just really careful with our money back then. It's much easier to save with one parent at home.

Our kids are grown now. Zero regrets. It was worth it for our family.

You realize that $50k want a lot farther when you started staying home 25-30 years ago (or whatever) than it does now, right?

Yes, things were quite different a generation ago.

LOL, more millennial excuses.