Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of those women who keep their weight under control by restricting the food in the house (gluten free, or no white sugar, or etc)?

NP here. I find the tone of your response ignorant and DCUM-rude. OP is correct in being concerned about a 5 lb. weight gain in a week. It has obviously not been gained from eating carrots and kale! People should restrict junk food everywhere not just home, especially things like white sugar. Do you even realize how obese and ill people are in this country?

Now, the only people I know who go gluten-free are those that are allergic to it - especially those with Celiac disease. I know of several mom's who have kids with Celiac and the discipline they and their kids show in avoiding food with gluten is commendable.

You CAN NOT gain 5lbs of fat in one week. 1-2lbs at most and that is probably because he went ape-shit overboard while she wasn't around. His other 3-4lbs is water retention from processed salty food, the body making itself retain because it is hot and he is sweating, and because the body is absorbing the water, he is probably constipated. This can resolve in one week of normal diet, TONS of water, and maybe some MiraLax if needed. There is no reason on this earth to weigh your kid after a week of camp.

And you are insane if you think the only people going gluten-free are those with celiac. It is the newest craze just like Atkins, Reduced-Fat, Sugar-Free etc...
And yes there is an obesity epidemic but shaming him is not going to help him. No one is saying load up on junk but micromanaging a tween is shameful.

I don't understand why the idea of weighing a kid makes you go ape-sh** . It's not that big of a deal. It's a scale. Nothing to be afraid of, PP.

Anonymous wrote:i'd take some advice from posters who've helped an overweight/obese child with big appetite overcome his/her food choices and weight problems.

btw i don't "expect" my 10-yo to make good choices - i want him to and work with him on that accordingly, and when he let me down i get frustrated. it's called parenting.

Please don't think "he let you down" or even that he let himself down. That's too much pressure.
It is frustrating when we struggle to help our kids. Food is such a challenge for some people. My DH can eat anything it seems and remain thin. I on the other hand gain weight easily. I was skinny until 7th grade. My parents did not handle it well and it became a horrible battle that overshadowed our relationship. I am now able to maintain a healthy weight but it took me into my thirties to get there. A good therapist was key for me - so often it's not really about the food.

I have 2 daughters - one, 15yo, takes after DH - the other after me. She's 13 and slightly overweight and has been for at least a couple years. We do not make an issue of it - I don't discuss my own weight (or others) with my girls nor do I bring up their weights. I am certainly privately concerned about DD2's weight but I am much more concerned about setting her up with a lifetime of food issues. I've discussed it privately with her ped who is fine with taking a very low key approach.

Although she is overweight she is not gaining disproportionate to height (based on her yearly physical - I don't weigh the girls at home) and I'm pleased with that. We don't really make a big deal about food in our house which helps me but I actually put a lot of thought into the food I buy and the meals we prepare. Breakfast is typically cereal with 1% milk with fruit. I don't buy sugar cereal except for vacation. We all take "bagged" lunches - typically a some combo of: a smallish sandwich or sometimes wrap, cut veggies sometimes with dip, sometimes string cheese, sometimes greek yogurt, and generally a small serving of a salty crunchy snack (i.e. chips, popcorn, nuts, pretzels or such), fruit, and some small sweet plus water bottle. The girls help me make the lunches assembly style - we don't do bento style but do have tons of small containers.

I also keep lots of food options on hand and do advance prep to make sure various options are equally easy to grap. (Wash fruit and veggies when purchased. Keep sliced veggies in fridge. Choose things that make good finger food - grape tomatoes, grapes, cuties, carrot "chips", homemade cinnamon apple chips. I keep dips on hand - hummus, sunbutter, peanut butter, salsa, sourcream based dips, yogurt, even Ready-Whip for berries. Our pantry also generally has a couple types of chips, various nuts (I like to get in shell - same for sunflower seeds. We also make homemade granola and cookies - we all love oatmeal, raisin, chocolate chip cookies (sometimes with nuts) - I actually hate raisins but they keep me from doing more then nibbling on one (cookies are a weakness of mine.

We also only eat in the kitchen, dining room or patio which the exception of at parties and popcorn for family movie night. We don't eat out of containers - we try to always make a plate/bowl. Also we eat meals at predictable times and I ask that all refrain from snacking within an hour of the meal. We have family dinner everynight and generally a family breakfast on Sunday. At family meals we only make one meal being sure to include at least one thing that each person really likes but insist that you have a bite of everything (at least one "no thank you" bite.) There is more I'm sure but these are just some of what works for us. Also, family walks and hikes having a dog helps - and bicycling and swimming and gymnastics/parkour/climbing. And lots of water. (And ice cream!)

Everything in moderation and keep it fun. Good luck.



I

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best to start weighing him both before and after a shit, just to be safe.

I agree. And everyday before and after school. Get a "demeaning your child" weight log and report all the findings. Get back to us after a month please.

I guess demeaning posters on DCUM is your outlet. Better to be demeaning to the OP than your own child -- is that your theory?

Absolutely. I love my kids. All moms should love and support their kids. Instead of being happy to see him, OP brought him home and WEIGHED him. She sucks. She deserves all these posters telling her what's up.

She's taking care of his health, per doctor's orders. Pretending he is a normal weight and OP has a problem is just perverse.

There are ways to address the issue that aren't so demeaning and confrontational.

I'm not getting that. I think people who assume any mention of weight is demeaning have an issue.

It's the reaction - the horror that he may have gained any weight - and then making him step on the scale. Making him feel bad about what might have been an otherwise good experience away.

Instead she could have let his body adjust to being back home first (poor kid was surely bloated and constipated), planned some healthy family meals with him for the upcoming week, taken to a farmer's market, planned some fun outings to get their whole family moving, etc. Addressed their lifestyle instead of this one week away at camp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best to start weighing him both before and after a shit, just to be safe.

I agree. And everyday before and after school. Get a "demeaning your child" weight log and report all the findings. Get back to us after a month please.

I guess demeaning posters on DCUM is your outlet. Better to be demeaning to the OP than your own child -- is that your theory?

Absolutely. I love my kids. All moms should love and support their kids. Instead of being happy to see him, OP brought him home and WEIGHED him. She sucks. She deserves all these posters telling her what's up.

She's taking care of his health, per doctor's orders. Pretending he is a normal weight and OP has a problem is just perverse.

1. She never mentioned the doctor.
2. If he is under doctor's orders, you don't send him away to camps with unlimited junk and ice-cream and THEN shame him when he returns
3. OP is the one with the problem. She has posted multiple times in such anger and resentment over her boy son, it is extremely sad. She needs help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of those women who keep their weight under control by restricting the food in the house (gluten free, or no white sugar, or etc)?

NP here. I find the tone of your response ignorant and DCUM-rude. OP is correct in being concerned about a 5 lb. weight gain in a week. It has obviously not been gained from eating carrots and kale! People should restrict junk food everywhere not just home, especially things like white sugar. Do you even realize how obese and ill people are in this country?

Now, the only people I know who go gluten-free are those that are allergic to it - especially those with Celiac disease. I know of several mom's who have kids with Celiac and the discipline they and their kids show in avoiding food with gluten is commendable.

You CAN NOT gain 5lbs of fat in one week. 1-2lbs at most and that is probably because he went ape-shit overboard while she wasn't around. His other 3-4lbs is water retention from processed salty food, the body making itself retain because it is hot and he is sweating, and because the body is absorbing the water, he is probably constipated. This can resolve in one week of normal diet, TONS of water, and maybe some MiraLax if needed. There is no reason on this earth to weigh your kid after a week of camp.

And you are insane if you think the only people going gluten-free are those with celiac. It is the newest craze just like Atkins, Reduced-Fat, Sugar-Free etc...
And yes there is an obesity epidemic but shaming him is not going to help him. No one is saying load up on junk but micromanaging a tween is shameful.

Anonymous wrote:New PP here. I have a serious question for all the posters criticizing OP: when should we expect children to start making good choices? I get that most of you think 10 is too young, but then when? Should she expect her son to make good choices at 12, 14, 18? Obviously, by the time kids go to college we have to hope that they've been taught how to make good choices, so when should that begin?

When they are able to do so. The body belongs to her son, not her. The level of anger coming from OP is so weird and inappropriate, as if someone has dared to abuse her precious body.

-- Signed the poster who finally lost weight when she left home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best to start weighing him both before and after a shit, just to be safe.

I agree. And everyday before and after school. Get a "demeaning your child" weight log and report all the findings. Get back to us after a month please.

I guess demeaning posters on DCUM is your outlet. Better to be demeaning to the OP than your own child -- is that your theory?

Absolutely. I love my kids. All moms should love and support their kids. Instead of being happy to see him, OP brought him home and WEIGHED him. She sucks. She deserves all these posters telling her what's up.

She's taking care of his health, per doctor's orders. Pretending he is a normal weight and OP has a problem is just perverse.

There are ways to address the issue that aren't so demeaning and confrontational.

I'm not getting that. I think people who assume any mention of weight is demeaning have an issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best to start weighing him both before and after a shit, just to be safe.

I agree. And everyday before and after school. Get a "demeaning your child" weight log and report all the findings. Get back to us after a month please.

I guess demeaning posters on DCUM is your outlet. Better to be demeaning to the OP than your own child -- is that your theory?

Absolutely. I love my kids. All moms should love and support their kids. Instead of being happy to see him, OP brought him home and WEIGHED him. She sucks. She deserves all these posters telling her what's up.

She's taking care of his health, per doctor's orders. Pretending he is a normal weight and OP has a problem is just perverse.

There are ways to address the issue that aren't so demeaning and confrontational.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best to start weighing him both before and after a shit, just to be safe.

I agree. And everyday before and after school. Get a "demeaning your child" weight log and report all the findings. Get back to us after a month please.

I guess demeaning posters on DCUM is your outlet. Better to be demeaning to the OP than your own child -- is that your theory?

Absolutely. I love my kids. All moms should love and support their kids. Instead of being happy to see him, OP brought him home and WEIGHED him. She sucks. She deserves all these posters telling her what's up.

She's taking care of his health, per doctor's orders. Pretending he is a normal weight and OP has a problem is just perverse.

New PP here. I have a serious question for all the posters criticizing OP: when should we expect children to start making good choices? I get that most of you think 10 is too young, but then when? Should she expect her son to make good choices at 12, 14, 18? Obviously, by the time kids go to college we have to hope that they've been taught how to make good choices, so when should that begin?

Obviously then sleep away camp is not the option for your child if you have to monitor it this much. What did you think was going to happen? You knew what camp you were signing him up for ahead of time and that there would be unlimited chicken wings and ice cream, yet you still let him go. So now that he is back, increase his exercise and continue to instill good eating habits. Even adults gain weight.

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of those women who keep their weight under control by restricting the food in the house (gluten free, or no white sugar, or etc)?

NP here. I find the tone of your response ignorant and DCUM-rude. OP is correct in being concerned about a 5 lb. weight gain in a week. It has obviously not been gained from eating carrots and kale! People should restrict junk food everywhere not just home, especially things like white sugar. Do you even realize how obese and ill people are in this country?

Now, the only people I know who go gluten-free are those that are allergic to it - especially those with Celiac disease. I know of several mom's who have kids with Celiac and the discipline they and their kids show in avoiding food with gluten is commendable.

Please do not micromanage your son. I understand your concern, but as other posters have written, there are right and wrong ways to handle the situation. I was an overweight pre-teen and teenager and my mom said and did stuff that still makes me cringe. If my dad and I would go out for dinner, she would ask my dad how much I ate and would tell my grandparents to stop feeding me so much. She would also make me get on the scale in front of her. There were occasions where she would make my favorite meals and not let me have any, because I had already "eaten it too many times" that week. She once even referred to me as a "porker" and said I was probably the heaviest person in my class. At the time, she weighed about 115 (she's 5'1") and was upset, because she had previously weighed 108.

I finally lost the weight as an adult and she still says stuff like, "Isn't life so much better when you aren't fat?" or "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Ironically, she is the one trying to lose weight now (~130, trying to get down to 125, ideally wants to be 115).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is he is actually overweight/chubby but since you see him every day it didn't really register. Once he was gone for a week and came back, you noticed.

Even if his is true, he's about to hit puberty and will thin out. OP needs to see a therapist.

Absolutely. Most 10 year old boys put on weight because they're about to take a big growth spurt. My ds did -- he proceeded to grow 4 inches in one year and gained very little weight in that year.

That said, the Boyd that I know who have weight issues are the ones whose Moms have always been the most obsessed with food, limiting sugar intake, etc. I think they cram themselves the first chance they get.

This is such a tired and stupid cliche.

I know it was true for me (I'm a girl, but I don't see the difference.

I remained overweight throughout childhood and didn't slim down until I left home and had control over my own food choices. I was so angry with my mother by that time for her constant nagging and inability to love or like me or accept me that we have little relationship to this day.

OP, accept your child the way he is. That's the greatest gift you can give him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can gain 5 pounds of bloat in 2 days on a diet of high salt food while traveling. If the camp served typically crappy camp food, that could even be enough to do it without over eating.

Exactly this. My DH spent a week at Scout Camp and gained 8 pounds - and he was trying to be careful about what he ate and was extremely active during the trip. But it's a totally different diet than what we eat, and the poor sleeping, heat, mosquitoes, and very salty food led to a lot of water retention.


OP has a seriously screwed up attitude about eating. Boys especially grow out, then they grow up. And the cycle repeats. My DS was very pudgy as an 11 year old, but shot up between 12 and 13, growing 4 inches but only gaining 3 pounds. Now at 14, he's 5 foot 10, probably on his way to 6 foot 2 or 6-4. It takes some calories to grow that tall.

Yes, plenty of kids go through a chubby stage as tweens. I've seen photos of my husband at around 11. He was chunky. His brother was just plain fat at that age. As adults, they're both on the thinner side of average.