Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she used to be hot.

I don't think DH and I are mismatched but he is now more attractive than I am. When I was 25, I was pretty cute and had an awesome figure. 15 years, 2 kids and other health problems resulting in surgery have done a real number on my body. I went from being 110 pounds to 130 pounds. I had these perfect boobs when I was 25. 2 kids later, they are ok but my mid section is almost the same as my breasts. I was probably 34-25-30 and now 34-30-30. Definitely do not look hot in a bikini. On the other hand, DH's body is pretty much the same. He was always on the lean side.

An ivy league educated girl with a cute face and nice figure was pretty high in demand when she was in her 20's. Now a 40 yo average looking successful man is high in demand. A 40 yo mom with 2 kids who used to have a great career and great figure may not be as attractive.

This is a vast simplification. I know a lot of 40 year average looking guys who are considered less appealing/less attractive husband material and can't find a woman to date them seriously. Most women in their 20s and 30s want men around their age, not significantly older. These guys are not reeling in the girls, they are aware of the fact that they'll be older dads (if at all) and they don't like it. If you're talking a law partner, it's a different story.

On the other hand, I know some smoking hot 40 year old moms who get plenty of attention.

PP here. DH earns a 7 figure income, smart, funny and charismatic. He would do fine in the dating market.

This thread motivated me to look better. I'm 130 pounds, not 200 pounds. I am going to try and drop 5 pounds by May and another 5 by the summer. I can do it!

A teenaged boy just posted this..

No, I'm the pp who said DH was more attractive than me now. I had a great figure in my 20's but not so much now that I'm pushing 40. This thread motivated me to drop 5-10 pounds.

DH does earn 7 figures. That is a fact. I was just responding to the person who said she knows 40 yo men who aren't appealing. I know that DH, with his 7 figure income, would be appealing to many women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you agree that once a partner stops looking good, it means the marriage has simply run its course and should just end. Once divorced, the weight comes off to attract a new partner. It's sad that divorce and the need to be HOT for dating is the only way to prioritize looking good. It's sad that long term marriage can't include a commitment to looking good.

You can maintain your weight and still not look "hot". Age happens. And if you have a flimsy foundation to your marriage each wrinkle becomes a new threat to it.

That must truly suck for you.

Even freakin George Clooney doesn't look the same as he did 20 years ago. But it's one thing to age and another to not take care of yourself and wind up a blimp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you agree that once a partner stops looking good, it means the marriage has simply run its course and should just end. Once divorced, the weight comes off to attract a new partner. It's sad that divorce and the need to be HOT for dating is the only way to prioritize looking good. It's sad that long term marriage can't include a commitment to looking good.

You can maintain your weight and still not look "hot". Age happens. And if you have a flimsy foundation to your marriage each wrinkle becomes a new threat to it.

That must truly suck for you.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you agree that once a partner stops looking good, it means the marriage has simply run its course and should just end. Once divorced, the weight comes off to attract a new partner. It's sad that divorce and the need to be HOT for dating is the only way to prioritize looking good. It's sad that long term marriage can't include a commitment to looking good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's actually sad that so many of you don't know what true love is. To love someone for who they are despite their waistline at a particular time in their lives.

This thread isn't about love. It's about being HOT or NOT.
I love my wife, but she is NOT hot due to significant weight gain.
I find it sad that so many people don't commit to looking good while married, but within 6 months of the divorce, suddenly find the willpower to lose the weight and become HOT for the dating market again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's actually sad that so many of you don't know what true love is. To love someone for who they are despite their waistline at a particular time in their lives.

This thread isn't about love. It's about being HOT or NOT.
I love my wife, but she is NOT hot due to significant weight gain.
I find it sad that so many people don't commit to looking good while married, but within 6 months of the divorce, suddenly find the willpower to lose the weight and become HOT for the dating market again.

Anonymous wrote:It's actually sad that so many of you don't know what true love is. To love someone for who they are despite their waistline at a particular time in their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of y'all are pretty cruel to other women. I think this sad. Why so judgy?

Too many cats in the house

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What made the wife look frumpy in the pool? LOL

OP, if you are a straight female, you are not obligated to find other females attractive. Breathe easy.

I'm confused why everyone thinks going to the pool immediately means you should look disheveled and unkempt. Big difference between wearing a cute suit and being generally fit and wearing some monstrosity with a skirt and clomping around in men's flip flops and bad sunglasses. nobody says you should have a blowout and gown on at the pool but it's still very obvious who is frumpy and who is not.

I had surgery in my mid-section so I only wear tankinis or one pieces, often with a skirt. I do have nice expensive sunglasses but I usually don't wear make up to the pool. Depending on the day, I may bring an expensive beach bag and other days I throw a towel and sunscreen in a lululemon shopping bag. Is that ok with you?

IFGAF because this thread is not about you. But it IS POSSIBLE to go to the pool and not look like run over shit so it's weird how defensive everyone is about that. "It's the pool!!" like pools magically make people fat and frumpy.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of y'all are pretty cruel to other women. I think this sad. Why so judgy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin and her husband met in high school when they were both thin and fit. By the time they got engaged at her college graduation party, she was 3x her size. I didn't recognize her. He wanted her to lose the weight. She was happy.

She threatened to kill herself every time he tried to break up with her before engagement.

They divorced after two kids. She has a new boyfriend and still fat.

J
Why did he reproduce with her? What was he thinking?