Anonymous
Post 08/22/2015 13:08     Subject: Re:Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:This isn't something she said, but something my MIL did that I'm just finding odd. I am 4 months pregnant, my husband is an only child and this will be her first (and only) grandchild and she's yet to either call/text/email me about the pregnancy. She and I aren't particularly close, but do reach out to each other on birthdays and when other big things happen (her companion went to hospital, so I called to check in, etc). Maybe protocol is that I should be reaching out to her as grandmother-to-be, but just struck me as odd never got even a text saying how thrilled she is at the news (which she is, according to my husband).


For all you know she had second trimester miscarriage or something. Maybe she's waiting for you to call her and share your news? Maybe she feels weird to be the one to bring it up?
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2015 20:22     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
A classic that MIL actually said to my dad (who was a photographer way back when, then got into computers when they started being used for digital imaging): "Oh did you stop doing photography because you weren't very good?"

She said this not too long after he had nicely agreed to take a family portrait of her and FIL and SIL.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2015 20:17     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
When calling MIL to tell her we were expecting her first grandchild (FYI we were married, employed, etc. and of 'typical' childbearing age):

DH: "Mom, we are going to have a baby. DW is pregnant."

MIL: "Oh my god! Were you not using birth control?"

DH: "..."
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2015 17:54     Subject: Re:Rude things your MIL has said
None of your business.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2015 17:48     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
She cuts you out of pictures like Mark Wahlberg did in "Fear"? Psychopath!
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2015 17:41     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She told my husband "when a son marries, a mother loses a son, when a daughter marries a mother gains a son". On the way to church on our wedding day.

I hate her guts for doing this.


It's usually true though.



My MIL said the same on our wedding day. I told her she gained a daughter as my husband is an only child. Unfortunately, she has not been interested in a daughter. Have been married for 13 years now, it has never improved.
I learned it the hard way. She cuts me out of pictures which hurt after giving birth. She only wanted to see the baby.
I have never done anything bad to her other than marrying her son.

When we were dating suggested to my DH I only want a Greencard (I come from Europe).
I am resentful at times as my husband and FIL allow her to behave like this.
I know it is not healthy for me.
Never really learned how to step up other than leaving.



I am the PP you're quoting. The kicker is that DH has been on his own living in another country since 17 and he is the only one of 4 siblings who supports his mother financially (did that before we married and still does it). Apparently it's ok that he lived far away from the mommy half of his life, but God forbid he found someone who loves him and cares for him. Now she lost him, woe is her. Luckily DH knows she is a passive agressive nut case.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2015 17:27     Subject: Re:Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:Oh, I want to play.

She always tells me how I am parenting wrong.

She makes derogatory comments about my parenting to my son

She makes fun of my son

Every darn Mother's Day, birthday, Easter etc, I buy and send her gifts and cards. Each time she makes sure to thank my husband only.

She cuts me out of pictures.

She told me that no one was good enough for her son (this was after we were married for 5 years)

I am sure there are more, but I have learned to tune them out.


She really cuts you out of pictures? Wow.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2015 17:15     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
Same poster as 17:11 - she also asked my DH if my family accepts him, implying racists as I am white and he is mixed.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2015 17:11     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She told my husband "when a son marries, a mother loses a son, when a daughter marries a mother gains a son". On the way to church on our wedding day.

I hate her guts for doing this.


It's usually true though.



My MIL said the same on our wedding day. I told her she gained a daughter as my husband is an only child. Unfortunately, she has not been interested in a daughter. Have been married for 13 years now, it has never improved.
I learned it the hard way. She cuts me out of pictures which hurt after giving birth. She only wanted to see the baby.
I have never done anything bad to her other than marrying her son.

When we were dating suggested to my DH I only want a Greencard (I come from Europe).
I am resentful at times as my husband and FIL allow her to behave like this.
I know it is not healthy for me.
Never really learned how to step up other than leaving.

Anonymous
Post 08/17/2015 13:29     Subject: Re:Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:The third time I met my MIL in person she asked DH if my family was nice to him. My DH rushed to defend them (he had spent the holidays with them the preceding December and they included him in everything and worked hard to make him feel welcome), and I made a joke about them being 'okay'. MIL chewed me out for making a joke bc she didn't know me that well yet.


I love this. I plan to ask my sons and daughters the same. If the ILs are not nice, sons and daughters should bail. I love that your DH rushed to defend your family - that means MIL did something right! I love how warm and welcoming your family seems - if only my ILs were warm and welcoming.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2015 21:33     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
My 2 ye old has just started s Montessori class on Friday. In laws came Saturday. I was playing on floor with dd and told her it was time to clean up. DD started to put very thing away in a bucket.

MIL exclaims "look how much she's learned from school!"

Say what? She had ONE half day of lifetime school before this.

So I reply "she's only been in school 3 hours of her life; she cleans up because I taught her that."

It sounds innocent on dcum, but mil will say anything to discredit my parenting or to say that my children's good habits or good behaviors came from
Anywhere but mr.
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2015 18:04     Subject: Re:Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:i don't know what she says about me to her friends or to my SIL (husband's brother's wife) but I do know that she is always saying somewhat rude things about my SIL to me and yet acts as though she really likes my SIL when we are all together. so it makes me think she must say rude things about me to others behind my back as well.

most of the stuff she's said about SIL is just petty, gossipy little tidbits that are not worth repeating but the worst thing I've heard her say about SIL is this:
*I really think it's terrible that her family is Islamic. How could you be a woman and be part of that awful religion?


Yeah, mine does this too--petty little digs about my SIL and BIL, which makes me think she does the same about me to them. But I'll take her over some of these monster in laws upthread!
Anonymous
Post 08/13/2015 17:08     Subject: Re:Rude things your MIL has said
The third time I met my MIL in person she asked DH if my family was nice to him. My DH rushed to defend them (he had spent the holidays with them the preceding December and they included him in everything and worked hard to make him feel welcome), and I made a joke about them being 'okay'. MIL chewed me out for making a joke bc she didn't know me that well yet.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2015 16:25     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:MIL says annoying things sometimes, but she actually bends over backwards to make up for it because she knows her son is a dick and that I may control access to her grandchild someday. Not that I would ever withhold access, but MIL is smart.


Yes, she is!

My MIL has taught me exactly what NOT to do!
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2015 16:24     Subject: Rude things your MIL has said
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Bow down. Hah that sounds like my Asian MIL. According to her, a DIL must wait hand and foot on her MIL, and do everything she says, and treat her as the queen of the household.

So I said, well, I'm American, so don't hold your breath.

She's hated me ever since.


Haha! Can you say more about your conversations with her along these lines? How did she convey to you that she expected those things? Does she live close or far?


Different poster here. I have that too, and MIL is Swedish American, so it is not just Asians.