Anonymous
06/24/2015 20:06
Subject: Ethics of adoption
A great movie to watch on this is called THE ITALIAN.
A real tear jerker.
A real tear jerker.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 20:05
Subject: Ethics of adoption
When I was in medical school, one of my classmates got pregnant by another classmate. She had the baby, and was going through the adoption process during the pregnancy. The agency lined up many families who were eager. She was white and blond, and since both parents were medical students, the agency said the baby would be sought after "regardless of gender". The agency even made sure that the families would be high income to entice my friend. One family offered to pay all of her expenses including medical school tuition! Illegal. But that was never done. When my friend decided to keep her son, the man at the agency slammed the phone down. I was stunned, but my friend was so distracted with her son that she quickly got that out of her mind.
Fast forward over 25+ years, her son had issues like emotional problems (chronic grump), learning problems, and finally childhood cancer. He survived. One time she said laughing, that those families who wanted her son would have been disappointed. She said that she had no regrets since the illnesses required such a total commitment. She would not have trusted anyone else with her so called "packet of trouble".
Fast forward over 25+ years, her son had issues like emotional problems (chronic grump), learning problems, and finally childhood cancer. He survived. One time she said laughing, that those families who wanted her son would have been disappointed. She said that she had no regrets since the illnesses required such a total commitment. She would not have trusted anyone else with her so called "packet of trouble".
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:45
Subject: Re:Ethics of adoption
I am sorry, I am not sure how to highlight a previous post.
To the PP that commented on my post, about how much you paid for your adoption process, You said you paid 3x as much as me.
Can I ask why you went with several different agencies and then paid lawyers as well on top?
We went with adoptions together based in MD, we never felt the need to go with another agency, and they did all the legal stuff for us as well.
I am just curious why it went so differently for you.
To the PP that commented on my post, about how much you paid for your adoption process, You said you paid 3x as much as me.
Can I ask why you went with several different agencies and then paid lawyers as well on top?
We went with adoptions together based in MD, we never felt the need to go with another agency, and they did all the legal stuff for us as well.
I am just curious why it went so differently for you.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:29
Subject: Re:Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I agree adoption is a travesty and should not be allowed. At the very least people who adopt should not kid themselves thinking they're doing something good and altruistic. You've basically stolen someone's child. I've got a kid of my own and the visceral bond I have with them is not something anyone else could ever feel.
When that child has been given up, there is nothing to steal.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:28
Subject: Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Many of us adopted not because we were unable to have biological children but because there was a child that needed a home and we could provide a loving home. I guess that makes us awful human beings...
Careful. You may break your arm patting yourself on the back for all your altruism.
I simply refuse to believe there is more than one poster spewing this garbage.
You think you are clever. Clearly you are not. You are a sad person preaching from your soap box but you have no idea what is it like in the real world with the rest of us.
I have to say I am a quite happy you live in your own world and not in mine.
I usually roll my eyes at conspiracy theories on DCUM, but this poster seems to show up in the evening and vomit this nonsense in any thread with the slightest wiff of "social justice" to it.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:26
Subject: Re:Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:+1!Anonymous wrote:Barring rape and all the other statistically unrealistic "what ifs" there is a bottom line here.
If you are a woman having sex, even while on birth control, there is a chance you will become pregnant. As adults we have to be responsible for our actions and accept the consequences of our actions.
Abortion, adoption, raising the child. Those are the choices. You cannot expect anyone else to foot the bill for you to be a parent. Its ridiculous.
And I think questioning the ethics of adoption just to further a socialist agenda is nasty and uncalled for.
To confirm: you see no need to improve US policies on families nor provide pregnant women in this country greater support, correct?
To confirm: You think women are unable to take responsibility for themselves and need someone to take care of them, correct?
To confirm: You are one of those distribution of wealth socialists who want to live in a nanny state, correct?
No man is an island...
We are members of a society. Our collective responsibility to one another fills the gap when an individual's personal circumstances leaves them needing more.
If you are content not distributing wealth, let's make access to water a privilege, defund road construction and infrastructure repair, do away with any economic or business regulation, let the free market determine the value of all things, dismantle the public school system, privatize emergency responders and the police force (and the military, for that matter), close the libraries, end garbage collection, get rid of the landfills, close the jails and prisons, end corporate welfare, etc. etc. etc.
I'll take the nanny state.
While your comparison was ridiculous, I'd take all of that being privatized over a nanny state.
Privatize water and the police? Okay, I'm done with you.
Pssst. I was pointing out that the PPs leap was ridiculous.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:02
Subject: Re:Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:I agree adoption is a travesty and should not be allowed. At the very least people who adopt should not kid themselves thinking they're doing something good and altruistic. You've basically stolen someone's child. I've got a kid of my own and the visceral bond I have with them is not something anyone else could ever feel.
Adoptive parent here who is aware that this is a very flawed industry and is all for discussion about reform, etc. Nonetheless, calling a travesty, saying there can be no visceral bond ... these comments are just clueless. lots of kids in the world need homes.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:00
Subject: Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Many of us adopted not because we were unable to have biological children but because there was a child that needed a home and we could provide a loving home. I guess that makes us awful human beings...
Careful. You may break your arm patting yourself on the back for all your altruism.
I simply refuse to believe there is more than one poster spewing this garbage.
You think you are clever. Clearly you are not. You are a sad person preaching from your soap box but you have no idea what is it like in the real world with the rest of us.
I have to say I am a quite happy you live in your own world and not in mine.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:58
Subject: Ethics of adoption
You have no soul. I am so sick of people getting on their soap boxes about a cause without considering the very real consequences of that cause. Go volunteer in an orphanage in some of these countries that culturally do not accept adoption as a viable option. See the consequences of no possible hope for a family and what happens to this kids when they get kicked out on the streets when they age out of the orphanage. Look into the eyes of a kid who just wants love, a family and hope for a future and ask them if cultural heritage is more important. You disgust me, you pious son of s bitch.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oops - I guess I should take my kids back to the orphanage in Colombia!!! Not.
You should never have been allowed to take these children from their home country, their cultural heritage, language, and extended family. I hope that, worldwide, adoptions that take child away from their cultural heritage is stopped. Yes, you have money and you stole this woman's children.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:54
Subject: Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are you stupid or deliberately obtuse? Billions of women around the world can manage to raise their children in less than ideal circumstances[b] but somehow, American women are so helpless that they can not accomplish the same with all the resources available in the country without piling on more. How embarrassing to think that American women are so fragile and incompetent. So much for women's liberation. Today's American women doesn't want equality, she wants special treatment because what she can't seem to manage what third world mothers can do. Shameful.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm all for improved services for mothers and families--paid maternity leave, affordable child care--woo hoo!
I just find it bizarre that some of PPs see that the primary goal for increasing these kinds of resources is to create a world where adoption never happens. That the primary goal is to end the horror that is adoption, when adoption is a perfectly viable option.
That isn't going to fix why many place. They are minimizing the true issues. We have supports in place for low income with affordable child care and more but not everyone has access to all that nor has the skills to raise a child. If life were only that simple.
Life isn't simple but isn't it amazing that billions of people have been able to navigate it without having their hand held?
How mothers in third world countries without access to clean water or a stable government are able to raise their child?
You're right. I'm going to agitate for an unstable government and unclean water.
What is your point? That we shouldn't progress as a society?
I'm both stupid AND deliberately obtuse, thanks.
I think your argument against governmental support systems ("Third World mothers make do with less") is totally off base. We HAVE the resources to support women and families. I think we should.
American women are also strong and resilient, raising in children in all kinds of circumstances. Bolstering their ability to do so can only be a good thing. Come on. Y
If every one of the billions of women around the world can manage to raise their children why are there so many charities support children worldwide.
I think that poster has issues.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:53
Subject: Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oops - I guess I should take my kids back to the orphanage in Colombia!!! Not.
You should never have been allowed to take these children from their home country, their cultural heritage, language, and extended family. I hope that, worldwide, adoptions that take child away from their cultural heritage is stopped. Yes, you have money and you stole this woman's children.
And I guess I should have left mine in the American cocaine den!
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:48
Subject: Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oops - I guess I should take my kids back to the orphanage in Colombia!!! Not.
You should never have been allowed to take these children from their home country, their cultural heritage, language, and extended family. I hope that, worldwide, adoptions that take child away from their cultural heritage is stopped. Yes, you have money and you stole this woman's children.
We speak Spanish and we are Latin... They did not have any close family and certainly none that took an interest.
You are a deranged and horribly mean person- you actually make me think of one of those people who hectors women outside an abortion clinic w pictures of fetuses.... Even where we disagree, we can treat one another kindly....
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:47
Subject: Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oops - I guess I should take my kids back to the orphanage in Colombia!!! Not.
You should never have been allowed to take these children from their home country, their cultural heritage, language, and extended family. I hope that, worldwide, adoptions that take child away from their cultural heritage is stopped. Yes, you have money and you stole this woman's children.
Sadly, many of those kids would not survive long or have any opportunity to appreciate their "cultural heritage." It is a heartbreaking situation, and I hope all those who oppose international adoption with this much vehemence are working to create viable alternative lives for children who live in poverty, violence, and fear, here and abroad. Of the things people do to children who do not have adults who can afford to make sure they are properly cared for are, I would not make adopting them, feeding them, clothing them, educating them, and loving them unconditionally the one I rail against, personally.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:43
Subject: Ethics of adoption
The poster is conveniently ignoring that adoptions in some cultures simply do not happen and this children never have a chance at a decent life absent international adoption, but hey a culture that throws them away and provides no hope for the future is preferable. This kind of thinking is truly evil.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oops - I guess I should take my kids back to the orphanage in Colombia!!! Not.
You should never have been allowed to take these children from their home country, their cultural heritage, language, and extended family. I hope that, worldwide, adoptions that take child away from their cultural heritage is stopped. Yes, you have money and you stole this woman's children.
You are so ugly inside.
I guess withering away in an orphanage would have been better for the PPs children.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:42
Subject: Re:Ethics of adoption
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:+1!Anonymous wrote:Barring rape and all the other statistically unrealistic "what ifs" there is a bottom line here.
If you are a woman having sex, even while on birth control, there is a chance you will become pregnant. As adults we have to be responsible for our actions and accept the consequences of our actions.
Abortion, adoption, raising the child. Those are the choices. You cannot expect anyone else to foot the bill for you to be a parent. Its ridiculous.
And I think questioning the ethics of adoption just to further a socialist agenda is nasty and uncalled for.
To confirm: you see no need to improve US policies on families nor provide pregnant women in this country greater support, correct?
To confirm: You think women are unable to take responsibility for themselves and need someone to take care of them, correct?
To confirm: You are one of those distribution of wealth socialists who want to live in a nanny state, correct?
No man is an island...
We are members of a society. Our collective responsibility to one another fills the gap when an individual's personal circumstances leaves them needing more.
If you are content not distributing wealth, let's make access to water a privilege, defund road construction and infrastructure repair, do away with any economic or business regulation, let the free market determine the value of all things, dismantle the public school system, privatize emergency responders and the police force (and the military, for that matter), close the libraries, end garbage collection, get rid of the landfills, close the jails and prisons, end corporate welfare, etc. etc. etc.
I'll take the nanny state.
While your comparison was ridiculous, I'd take all of that being privatized over a nanny state.
Privatize water and the police? Okay, I'm done with you.