Anonymous wrote:For Indians,I do. Their weddings routinely has five hundred guests. You invite any and every person you know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For children's parties, I write the following:
Your presence is gift enough, no presents please.

I really don't need more toys to pick up, and my children receive gifts from family. Frankly, I would be glad if someone brought cash or a gift card, then the kids could use the money for something they really wanted. Still, I'd never ask or imply cash gifts only. I have seen children with nothing sit by and be forced to watch an avalanche of gift opening by a middle class birthday kid with too much stuff already. It breeds resentment and social divide. Parties should be about people.

Showers on the other hand are a way of preparing a couple for a new step in life. Registeries are totally appropriate, but the final choice should rest with the gift giver. I would advise not placing honeymoon itemized lists, but simply listing contributions to the household are appreciated also.


Who is opening presents at a birthday party? That is tacky for the reason above. Save the present opening for when the guests have gone.

I have a 10 and a 12 year old. It seems that at most parties, the gifts are opened if the party is at the birthday child's home. If it's at a venue, the gifts are opened later. My kids actually enjoy it more when they get to see their friend's reaction to the gift they picked out for them. We are in Arlington, if that helps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For children's parties, I write the following:
Your presence is gift enough, no presents please.

I really don't need more toys to pick up, and my children receive gifts from family. Frankly, I would be glad if someone brought cash or a gift card, then the kids could use the money for something they really wanted. Still, I'd never ask or imply cash gifts only. I have seen children with nothing sit by and be forced to watch an avalanche of gift opening by a middle class birthday kid with too much stuff already. It breeds resentment and social divide. Parties should be about people.

Showers on the other hand are a way of preparing a couple for a new step in life. Registeries are totally appropriate, but the final choice should rest with the gift giver. I would advise not placing honeymoon itemized lists, but simply listing contributions to the household are appreciated also.


Who is opening presents at a birthday party? That is tacky for the reason above. Save the present opening for when the guests have gone.

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. I and my husband took our daughter to the party. The grandfather opened the door and he said: Jackets please! We gave him the coats , we took our shoes off and the mom came and grabbed my daughter's hand and she took her to the basement and she told us that we can pick her up at 5 PM. My daughter and us thought that we will stay at the party. Do usually people announce you ahead of time if you are supposed to leave your child there?
My daughter is 6 year old.

Anonymous wrote:For children's parties, I write the following:
Your presence is gift enough, no presents please.

I really don't need more toys to pick up, and my children receive gifts from family. Frankly, I would be glad if someone brought cash or a gift card, then the kids could use the money for something they really wanted. Still, I'd never ask or imply cash gifts only. I have seen children with nothing sit by and be forced to watch an avalanche of gift opening by a middle class birthday kid with too much stuff already. It breeds resentment and social divide. Parties should be about people.

Showers on the other hand are a way of preparing a couple for a new step in life. Registeries are totally appropriate, but the final choice should rest with the gift giver. I would advise not placing honeymoon itemized lists, but simply listing contributions to the household are appreciated also.


Who is opening presents at a birthday party? That is tacky for the reason above. Save the present opening for when the guests have gone.

Anonymous wrote:

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+1. It's a free country, lady. My inlaws threw a first birthday party for my DD and wrote no boxed gifts. IN AMERICA! *gasp*

I'm genuinely curious, pp, so I hope the question is taken that way. But what was your in-laws intent behind saying "no boxed gifts"? Was the family trying to avoid getting "stuff"? Were they hoping to create the start of a college fund? Did most people give cash? Do they do gift cards in that scenario?

My inlaws have hosted and paid for all 5 of their grandkids first birthday parties. My DD is the last of those 5 (the oldest was 10 at her 1st bday so its been a long decade). They invite everyone they know, including distant family. There were over 200 people at DD's 1st bday party. I didn't know 170 of them and my kid didn't either. Over the years, the inlaws realized there are waaaaayyy too many gifts to transport, their friends were stressing out about what gift the kid would like best so in their estimation, no boxed gifts was best. Worked well for me since I didn't want a houseful of junk. DD got cash, checks, gift cards. Our friends brought books, art supplies - we didn't care. But there were like 5 families of our friends.

so how much should go in each of these envelopes? $20? 200 people x $20 = pretty good haul for first b’day.

Usually $50-200.

You’re kidding?

I’d ask for no boxed gifts to if I thought we’d haul in that much for a kid’s b’day party.